are there any other homemakers out there with no kids??

United States
May 27, 2008 1:28am CST
i get a lot of crap for being a housewife since we dont have kids but i am only not working due to health but its not like you want to state that when anyone ask you what you do so i automatically get the next question which is "how many kids ya got?" which i cringed at.. i cant have kids and we dont want to adopt so there fore everyone assumes i just sit around and do nothing and get fat or something.. any one else have this problem??
2 people like this
5 responses
• United States
23 Dec 09
I do work full time outside the home....and fulltime at home. I have a 19 yr old stepson, but was never able to have children of my own. The questions got a bit irritatng for a while, especially at the time that I wasn't working. I have always wanted children, but it wasn't meant to be apparently. My appendix burst when I was 17, and the problems went on from there. It used to make me cry seeing these women who threw babies in dumpsters when I wanted one so badly. But, life works itself out. I have a stepson who is 19, and I have known since he was 4. He is my friend and my love. I simply adore him! My husband says that a lot of his accomplishments can be traced to me. I am the one who got him using his imagination, instead of video games only, I got him into the castle toys and battle ships. Mostly, I got him reading. We shared the world of Harry Potter. Even tho I got more interested than him by the end of it, lol! To sum it all up...it's no one else's business! Just say, no kids, and walk away!
2 people like this
• United States
28 Dec 09
thats awesome that you had such a great experience with your stepson and got so close with him.. sounds like you guys have a great relationship
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Aug 08
Wow! You're story could be mine! I married late in life (in my 40's). I never had children. I couldn't because of health reasons. My husband never had children either. Now that I'm in my mid 40's and I'm scheduled to have a hysterectomy, I can't have kids. People used to give me a hard time because I didn't have kids. Heck, they gave me a hard time about still being single (until I married). People seem to have a problem with me being a "housewife" with no kids. I now have health issues that prevent me from working full time. I work very part-time, only three days a week for just a few hours and it really isn't like work because all I do is drive an old lady around town because she can't drive any more. Her family pays me to shuttle her to the store, bank, post office, etc. It's actually fun but it doesn't put stress on my body like "real" work would so even with my health issues I can do this type of "work". Here's how I handle it all. About the no kids situation...I tell people the truth...I can't have kids because I have a low thyroid and my core body temperture is too low so I'm not fertile. I also have two very large fibroids that are blocking my uterus and sperm can't pass through so I can't get pregnant. And now that I'm having a hysterectomy to remove my uterus there's no chance I will be getting pregnant. Once I tell them all this they feel horrible for bothering me in the first place and then they leave me alone. I suggest you just honestly tell everyone you have health issues that prevent you from having children and that you and your husband have decided that adoption is not a option the two of you wish to pursue. When people give me a hard time about working...I tell them that: 1. My husband is old fashioned and believes a wife's place is at home, not in the office. 2. That I have a multitude of health issues that prevent me from working full time. If they want to know what, tell them. Then they will feel bad for asking in the first place. The best way to get people off your back is to make them feel so embarrassed for sticking their nose in your business in the first place. Good luck honey.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Aug 08
yeah i tried the guilt trip and people are like "you can adopt! life isnt worth living with out the joy of a child.. or that god wont let me into heaven if i dont have a kid because im only existing to have kids and fullfill his meaning for humans " (not even my religion!!) grrrr!!!!!! thats when i add i cant take of one and then they still say the same thing!! people just need to mind their own business!! i would kill for a part time job.. i swear the house is closing in on me!! man you definitely have everything in the book going against you having kids so they should feel guilty!! i think some times that people that are married or have kids want everyone else to just so they can share the stress lol..
• United States
24 Aug 08
awesome answers!! with my luck though people that hate me and talk crap about me would hear the denied adoption thing and tell everyone i was denied because im a nut job lol.. oh well screw them!! thanks for your suggestions.. i never even thought about the not healthy enough to adopt thing
@lilaclady (28238)
• Australia
27 May 08
Yeh there is a lot of pressure out there in many areas, I am not married and nor want to be, I like being in complete control of my life, I have never really wants kids and I have always had comments of when are you going to settle down...I reckon I am the most settles person in the world, completely happy with being single and free...
• United States
27 May 08
i never wanted to get married but then fell in love and did.. i was always wanting to have a great career and not depend on any one then my health took a crap and i cant work.. so its like im living hell and then people gotta look down at my low point and add that i suck at it because i have no kids lol.. oh well..
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28238)
• Australia
27 May 08
I think you will find there are many childless couples these days and a lot of them are choosing that...some people think it is cruel bring children into such an unsettled selfish world..its ok not to hav children..everyone has a journey and they are all different.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 08
yeah that is part of the reason im not having kids is because i would feel that it is selfish due to the fact i wouldnt be able to be a great active parent.. and like you said the world is crazy now a days and some times i wonder if its even a good environment to raise kids anymore but then again i think any generation probably thinks that lol
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
22 Dec 09
It's a common problem when it comes to women who don't have kids. I can't have kids either and I always get asked why don't I have kids. I also get the pity look when they find out I can't have any...which is irritating as well. I like being at home and spending time with my Hubby...some ppl have a real problem with that. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STANDING STRONG IN MY BELIEFS**[/b]
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Dec 09
i dont want to be at home but am stuck here (disabled) but i dont wanna go around yelling that so i say housewife then its like oh how many kids?!?! then im like none and dont want any then i get the 101 q's and it drives me nuts.. what really gets me is my cousin KNOWS i cant have kids and im disabled but cuddled her kid and said i needed one of those when her own sister is under fertility treatments and not having success.. i almsot wanted to say "what if i had said that to YOU sister?!?" grr so rude!
@yoyo1198 (3643)
• United States
28 May 08
Wow...good subject. I never had children. I didn't like kids...any kids. I didn't want any. I never had any and to this day have never regretted that decision. People called me selfish. I called them selfish for having children just to say they had a bunch. I'm an old woman now and I still don't like kids. Any kids. I don't think I've missed a thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jun 08
i told my father and mother one time that if i had a kid i would recent it so whats the point?!?! i hate kids.. and i hate how people are raising their kids.. if people did their job and cared more the world wouldnt be as cruel and then people would be more willing to have kids.. doesnt matter to me though.. i dont want them lol