Why is it that people are nice to you when you look good?

Philippines
May 27, 2008 3:48pm CST
Generally, people are nice to you when you look good. I mean most are very particular of outward appearance. I tell you what? I am really disappointed in this kind of attitude specially when I am a victim. How do you feel about it? did you notice this type in your ennvironment? well if you happened to meet them, what did you do when they just ignore you because you did not fit to threir taste? Oh dear!!! Ideas are very much welcome so that we could help each other to cope with this situation.
1 person likes this
11 responses
@rinkub (231)
• India
15 Jun 08
There are all kinds of people. I have experienced something similar a number of times. I am average looking but I look attractive when I wear a sari or dress up well, or so I've been told. But, unfortunately, I hate dressing up unless it's really a function or an event I'm looking forward to. I have been told again and again, and again, by my mom, my friends and relatives that I should dress up and at least be presentable. Now, even my son's got after me. The thing is that I speak really well and since I'm quite well-read and have a variety of interests I can carry off any event or any function on my shoulders and am normally the centre of attraction. In fact, it was just yesterday, that a friend's 20-year-old son told me that I make a great first impression. So, somewhere I don't feel the need to spruce myself up or make any effort to look good. But, the problem arises when I walk into a shop, or to a place where my intellect is of no use and performs no function. I am often looked over by shopkeepers and billers. It's embarrassing then. I used to feel bad. There are some women I know who are hardly educated and can't carry off any conversation or have nothing to contribute in a get-together, but since they are dressed better, they are regarded quite seriously! But then, I have learnt that it's always nice if you can make yourself look good, too. It only helps to enhance your image and you feel nice about yourself as well. The only thing is I'm too lazy and it's too much of an effort to have your clothes ironed and match your accessories. But, I have promised that I will look presentable when I step out of the house, when one day, when I was wearing a dress which was slightly torn, and I knew it to be so and still went out shopping with my husband in it and he turned around and told me that he will not venture out again with me if I wear torn clothes. He holds a very senior position in his organisation and he told me categorically to behave like a senior professional's wife and an eight-year-old son's mother and not to got to our son's school to pick him up and drop him in shabby clothes. So what if I was a journalist, or had a number of degrees, or painted well and compered stage shows and was involved with the arts and was extremely cultured. That day I decided to start dressing up, though I hate it, I hate it! Lol!
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
hahah!! you are funny!! but your hubby is right!!! He wants his wife to be presentable that he could be proud of with his colleagues. I can understand that because of his high profile in his job. Anyway, do you know that genius people don't care about anything? I think you are one of them. Take care!!!!
@xParanoiax (6999)
• United States
27 May 08
Many people are very shallow. I've been told for most of my life that I was pretty, cute, the like...and I've always rejected the notion, because I prefer to see myself as just like everyone else -- we're all unique, and beautiful in our own ways. Just like everything else in this world...everything has it's own beauty, it's just that not everybody can see it. If they can't see it, then they either haven't realized it's that or can't be bothered to try to see it. I'm always polite to everyone, and often too kind for my own good. While I don't approve of people giving a certain class of people special treatment (this tends to be the anorexic supermodel types in my area -- "beauty" is also a subjective term after all..everyone has their own views of it, and that's what the trend is here)...I also try not to judge. They judge people, and people who know better shouldn't sink to their level. They're sad, and they probably haven't stopped to consider many of the deeper, profound subjects in the world that often...so it's their loss, their misfortune and bad luck. Life will teach them things throughout there lives, hopefully, like it tries to teach all of us, and we can only hope that the lessons are good ones and benefit them.
2 people like this
• Philippines
27 May 08
Oh!! how sweet of you. That's a good attitude. I like whenyou said, you like yourself like everyone else that even if people said youare CUTE!! you don't blow up your head. lol. Oh!! I like that attitude. Good example to others who are selective and choosy of who they are going to intertain. Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
• India
27 May 08
It's just socialising pattern. People seem to think that they might get closer to you if you look good and be friends with you, cos looking good always reflects money. BUt if you are shabbily dressed, then they might just dust you off. Thats one reason. The other reason might be that they are very rich and do not care for others. Try to observe. A rich person will always talks nicely to another rich person, but he wont be the same to the waiter in a restaurant or the person behind the ticket counter. It's just the way the world socialises. Too bad that they judge a book by its outer appearance. bourne
2 people like this
• Philippines
27 May 08
You are exactly right!! good points. I agree there are many rich who are that kind you describe. It is really a social status symbol. Well, thanks for the reply.
1 person likes this
@naseeha (1385)
• India
27 May 08
It is because your outward appearance reflects your personality and your character too. So if you look good you seem to be good and vice versa. Yes at times it is maddening and i understand the feeling. But you can do nothing about it. you cant change the people around you. Atleast we can refrain from doing the same mistake. we should not treat others like that. As the saying goes... Dont judge a book by its cover
2 people like this
• Philippines
27 May 08
yeah right!! by not treating others nicely if they don't look nice means you are judging them by their looks!! Good points here. Thanks for sharing your ideas.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 May 08
It depends on how they look bad. There would be no way I'd go up to somebody that looks like they have some kind of major skin disorder (like leprosy). I also wouldn't go up to somebody that has an empty eye socket or something of the like. I'm not exactly a winner in the looks department myself, but if someone looks really oddly weird and I don't know why, then I assume that is something that I can get too. Otherwise, looks may at first win someone over but a winning personality always comes through in the end.
2 people like this
• Philippines
27 May 08
haha!! you are funny!! but right!! it is normal also that we should not come closer to people with diseases unless we are in a medical profession. lol. That is a different story. What I mean is when your looks is not really presentable, no one will treat you nicely. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
1 Jul 08
My personal opinion is people take heed only when you dress up neatly and conduct yourself with shoulders held high and a smiling face and a polite demeanour. If we go to a bank dressed neatly[once again this is my personal experience and I have found this to be vlid on many an occasion]. people do listen to what you have to say and pay heed to you. The way one conducts oneself also plays a part. Even if we are slightly clumsy with hair awry or shabbily dressed people don't give us a second glance. We need not be great beauties on earth but we must be decently groomed.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
That is exactly right!!! you have great points...
• United States
23 Jun 08
I think in general, if your appearance is aesthetically appealing or pleasing to someone else's eye, you subconsciously become a focal point to them and their attention becomes heightened towards you. If you are referring to being treated differently because you are over weight, of a different race than that person, or you are older/younger than that is discrimination! I personally have not come across any discrimination like that, at least none that I was aware of. I do on the other hand believe in "dressing for success". But, I do not believe that your success should be measured on your race, age, weight, religious belief, etc.
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
absolutely right!! I agree with your idea.
@darshanv (22)
• India
28 May 08
We need to realize that we live in a shallow world. Outward appearance is the first impression you make on others and it helps when you are considered to be good looking or presentable. Being treated poorly on the basis of looks is an awkward feeling but the flip side to it is that everybody has different parameters for judging beauty. So chances are that the treatment may even out in the long run. What is in our hands is how we treat others and not how others treat us.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 May 08
I agree. In this world, outward appearance play a vital role in almost everything. And maybe we have to accept this fact. thanks for sharing.
28 May 08
In case you are not aware yet, the world is unfair in a lot of matters. GOOD LOOKS is one of them! Research has revealed that the applicants who usually get a job fast, yep! you guessed right,are those with good looks! Now you know why a lot of receptionists look dishy but are so so bland! One way to combat this prejudice is to believe in yourself. You can also further your position by dressing in a nice way and looking presentable once you step outside yuor house. Choose clothes you feel comfortable to wear. This is a little known fashion fact - people don't look good because they wear expensive designer clothes but because they feel very comforable with what they are wearing. Today's woman has a wide variety of make-up that can enhance the plainest of face. Get onto it. Finally,alwaus be yourself! Never try to fit into the mould of the people you think are with 'it.' Rememeber you don't owe them anyhting. If there are people who are snobbish enough to downgrade you because of your appearance, just be polite to them and go on your way! You are bound to meet others who will like you for what you are! Just take a look at Barbara Steriesand - who was dubbed the starlet with an anteater'e nose! Or Oprah Winfrey with her make-over!Even men - Woody Allen could get Diane Keaton, John Wayne or even Jackie Chan are not great in the looks dept. All of these people go to where they are by believing in themselves and just getting on with it! So go out there with a smile!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 May 08
you have good point on this. You are right, people who good looks are not having a hard time finding work. Even if they are not so good at the job, the management would spend time training them. Then less attractive have slim chances too. You are correct!!! Thanks for sharing.
@lingli_78 (12846)
• Australia
28 May 08
i think that is the nature of sinful people... they only want to make friend or be close to the people that look nice or who they like... it is a pity actually because it just shows what type of character they are... they are very narrow minded and have a small heart... they can't open their mind and heart widely to accept everybody regardless of their state... also, they didn't realise that every human beings are God's creation regardless whether they are handsome/beautiful or ugly... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 May 08
yes I agree. How people treat others just shows their character. another good point.. yes we are created by God and no matter how we look, God cares for us the same way. Thanks for sharing.
• Canada
28 May 08
The world is a very superficial place, and it has been engrained on people that the better they look, the nicer people will be to them, and the more in life will go their way. Sadly the people who were raised with this message treat others the exact same way, and keep te vicious cycle going.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 May 08
yeah you're right!! thanks for sharing