What do you do when conflicts arise?

Canada
May 29, 2008 10:47pm CST
After reading responses to the discussion on centering I thought it would be interesting to post a discussion on conflict...because conflict is often very..."un-centering." I know that is not a word...but it does convey a concept so I am going with it. Whether challenges involve a person or a difficult situation, the tendency to avoid conflict only makes it worse...from my experience. When I read how some of you ground yourselves during times of conflict that is definitely the ideal way. But I think most of us know that sometimes conflicts trigger such intense reactions that it is hard to stay centered in the midst of them. At different points in my own life path there were times I felt conflicted because of what was happening to me or someone I love. In my work as a life coach clients often feel conflicted when they are ill, financially compromised, going through a divorce, a loved one dying...or anything else that feels like the conflict is working against them. During times of conflict many have told me they feel like they are being held hostage to a force that is bigger than they are...especially if it is a life-threatening or debilitating illness. When I studied Reiki, other healing arts and a wide variety of spiritual teachings from different religions I discovered that from an energy perspective conflict is a disruption and interference pattern. It can arise as a field of influence anywhere, anytime...in nature, society and of course within all types of relationships. Part of it comes because everything is constantly changing and moving and whenever that occurs things can and often do become...conflicted. So within the constant changes how can we move through the conflicts that occur? One idea that many find difficult to accept is to embrace it and move into it...rather than recoiling and pulling away. Conflict often brings us to the edge of our resourcefulness and that is why the idea of embracing it feels so unnatural and even frightening. One of the most uncomfortable feelings is not knowing what to do or how to act when things feels scary. Conflict becomes conflict because we usually do not know how to feel safe in the face of it...so we try to avoid it, deny it, suppress it or distract ourselves from it. However, whenever we are able to face the fear...the death of that fear is certain as a wise sage once said. I know this to be true..throughout my own healing journey...and when client's are willing to take this approach. Whenever anyone opens themselves to the idea that they are stronger than ANY conflict they usually meet it head on and find that the fear of it loses hold on them...and they are set free. Conflict can also be a great motivator for change...and so embracing it whenever it shows up can open the door to a bigger, better, brighter life. I know because I lived through a lifetime of conflict in my earlier years. I discovered that when we are able to look into the abyss it places us on the edge of awakening. When we face the danger that we either do...or die we often surrender and let go...and at that point there is often a rebirth. When we share our stories many of them attest to the fact that it is only in the presence of challenging circumstances that we move out of our comfort zones and awaken to new possibilities. Conflict stretches us, and forces us to adept, learn, grow, change...yield...or surrender. So my friends another 'thinker' discussion as we wind down the week. I appreciate those of you who said you missed them while I was away...so here we go again. These deeper discussions provide a great deal of insight for me from those of you who contribute...and I thank you. I have said it before and will again..when you share your perspectives here...it shows we are all students and teachers to each other. As I mentioned in my other post tonight...we have errands to run tomorrow..but I will be around on the weekend and continuing to respond to as many responses as timer permits. Best regards, Raia
4 people like this
11 responses
@pyewacket (44037)
• United States
30 May 08
Wonderful discussion! Well all I can say is thank goodness my attitude about conflict wasn't inherited from my mother's attitude of any kind of conflict. She was the type of person who didn't want the apple cart jolted, everything smooth sailing...if some conflict came about, she was the type to hide her head in the sand hoping it would go away, so she rely on others to solve the problem or conflict. I never worked that way...whatever conflict came in my life I faced head on full steam ahead. Yes, maybe a conflict would come up, and at first might feel very angry about it, with the, "why is this happening to me" attitude...but oddly enough, my anger would work for me...as it would get me moving toward problem solving, to find an answer and solution to the problem. You know so much of my story, but my "winner" year was 2006...it was a snowball effect of one thing after another. First, my mother's ongoing deteriorating physical and mental health, then getting the eviction case against us due to the many cats we had. Since by then my mother's mental state was so bad, either she didn't even realize we were being threatened with eviction or was just in plain denial. So since she was so "out of it" it was up to me to handle everything...from finding a lawyer, then finding places to take the extra cats to safe new place, going to court appearances...and then of course in the middle of the case my mother passed away. Oddly enough with all this "drama" going on in my life, I was probably at my most calm..in fact my friends would ask, How can you be so calm about everything? I guess deep within, I just knew falling to pieces and being filled with anxiety wasn't going to solve the problem, perhaps may have made it worse...as they say, what you resist, persists, or if you fight against someone, it only comes back stronger. I didn't do any extra "grounding" or meditation at that time either oddly enough. This may sound really silly, but my one way to "prepare" myself for a court appearance was this. I'm a great fan of the first Chronicles of Narnia movie...the day before a court appearance I would watch the movie...then just before I went to sleep, I re-watched the battle scene...sort of an analogy thing there for when you think of it I WAS going to battle...for some reason, it worked for me, it got me ready...who knows, maybe "grounded" and centered. You have to realize, court appearances are nerve wracking to begin with, added with my dealing with my agoraphobia problem..but once again at any court appearance, I was very, very calm. I remember something like watching a movie to make a bad or challenging time a bit better isn't unusual. I know a friend who also went through a very stressful, and depressing time in her life..she told me what got her through it was to watch the Star wars movies ...I guess there the whole idea of "The Force" be with you thing is what got her through her challenging time I've been reading Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth...many people who read it won't get it...I did..one of the things he says that yes, conflicts or problems will come into our lives..and yes it will concern us...but we shouldn't "worry" about it as it is wasted energy when we can apply that energy for more positive means of problem solving
2 people like this
• Canada
2 Jun 08
Hello again. I was away for awhile and thought about you and others whom I value here. I see you have made over 7,000 posts...and congrats on that my friend. I appreciate your positive acknowledgment about the discussion and your input on it. Your approach to conflict is radically different than your mother's alright and I have gathered that from our various chats this past year. After studying a variety of metaphysical teachings it seems that it is only through our ability to become "present to life" and embracing the "demons" that cross our path that we are able to transform our fears and master them. The examples you used about staying calm and grounded in the face of daunting challenges shows you have the intuitive knowing needed to help you not only resolve conflict but to transcend it as well. Yes, it is a process and the more we "own" our wholeness and worth the easier it seems to get. At least that is what I have found. May your conflicts continue to be less and your joys multiplied. Great sharing these ideas with you...I have missed you and our dialogs. Take care and thanks for dropping by. Raia
• United States
25 Jul 08
Pye, I always admire your discussions and your abiity to approach a topic head on and I appreciate you sharing a little of your story--maybe it was rough for you then but I think you took a lot out of those challenging situations you mentioned in your post. Me, I cam from a dysfunctional family even though on the outside we were seen as the Brady Bunch and for awhile I just felt stuck in those feelings of anger like they defined me forever but now I see how they molded me to be able to stand up for myself and I feel like I understand others struggling better and always want to help if I can. When I get down and have conflict I always go to be by myself and read a lot of encouraging words--Eckhart Tolle's book about Stillness is great and spirituality really helps me because I have always felt like my spirit is the only thing that has mattered in my life.
• United States
30 May 08
There's something to be said for the path of least resistance, and simply avoiding it as much as you can. Like, if I go over to my mothers house and she is in 'a mood' I just turn around and head back out the door. I can't see any point in getting involved in conflict, other than as an aid to help clarify what I want. I am no longer willing to sacrifice feeling good for anyone or anything. If someone wants to b!tch about this that and the other thing they can do it with somebody else. I look for things to feel good about in whatever circumstances I am in. That is such a 'magic key'!
2 people like this
• Canada
2 Jun 08
Hi to both of you and thanks for your additions to the discussion. I agree with the past of least resistance...whenever possible. However, I have found that I have been able to move through conflicted situations by confronting the person or events head on and transforming them by standing in the resonance of my own power and not giving into those who are judgmental, diminishing or insensitive. Within my belief systems I see us all as students and teachers to each other. Sometimes we have to retrain others how to treat us or the dynamic will continue and that may not provide the greatest opportunity for growth on either side. In my experiences with my mother and others I learned that you will never know what people are capable of until they are given the chance to hear another side of things. They may not change...but at least they were given a chance to handle "their own stuff" with open, authentic exchanges with others who are willing to risk that level of genuine communication. It may create further conflict initially...but it is also immensely liberating to face the tiger and or the fear and come out the other side with greater awareness and confidence than if the situation had been avoided for a few feel good moments. I know from personal and professional experience that sometimes the feel good comes once the conflict has truly been transformed because it was dealt with rather than avoided. Just another 'perspective." Raia
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
30 May 08
Despite your very long post... I am still not too sure what sort of conflicts you are talking about. If you are talking about conflicts with people... I have always resolved those very quickly. If you get on my bad side... you are going to know about it immediately. But if by conflicts... you mean "avoiding solving your personal problems"... In my younger years... I was very good at that. I went to extreme lenghts to avoid my problems. I realise now that I did put three times more work into avoiding my problems than it would have taken me to solve them. Not counting the emotional issues and the stress as a result of it all. With maturity... I have learned from it. Now if I have a problem... I simply take it head on and solve it. No more mucking about. Sometimes I think that my agoraphobia is the result of having avoided my problems in the past. It certainely took its toll on me.
2 people like this
• Canada
2 Jun 08
I did not state any particular type of conflict because everyone views conflict within different frameworks. Some people have conflicts with other people. Others within themselves...as you have presented in the examples you draw from your own life experiences. Whatever the discord is often people recoil from it, deny it, resist it or repress it. I liked what you said..."I realize now that I did put three times more work into avoiding my problems than it would have taken me to solve them." You are not alone in that experience I think we have all been there and done that at different points in life. Perhaps it is part of becoming more emotionally mature or self-accountable that leads us to the point where we approach it as you do now..."head on and solve it...without mucking about." Yep, that is the idea within the topic of embracing conflict rather than burying one's head in the sand living in false hope that things will improve or dissipate. More often than not that tactic only leads to complications that could have been avoided. Good input again and great to be back sharing ideas with you my friend. Raia
@skinnychick (6907)
• United States
31 May 08
At times, I believe that conflict brings out raw emotion in people. I know that it does for me. At times, it isn't a good emotion either. But when that happens, it all falls in the way we deal with things. I like to come out on top being the bigger person, even if that means eating crow. That though doesn't happen to often. I like to keep conflict as far away from me as possible. If it crosses my path, then I deal with the situation and move on. I don't dwell on conflicts, the unhappiness they bring just isn't worth it to me. As with everything, I learn from it and hope that it never happens again.
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Jun 08
Hi again...always good to hear from you. Your approach to conflict is similar to where I am in life. David and I have something called the "Aggravation Quotient." When any relationship or situation brings more aggravation than reward we know it is time to leave, release, let go and move on. I love the Buddhist teaching that says...all of our suffering comes from our attachments. When we 'attach' ourselves to people or situations we are no longer free. From what you have offered here you are applying that principle and it is working...good for you! Your attitude and approach to life is showing that your inner changes are being mirrored by the outer events in your life...and so it is for those of us who 'get it.' Take good care and I wish you and your special guy lots more love and light. Raia
• United States
2 Jun 08
Oh Raia, You always say it better than I. I love your writing and that was what I was referring to. I couldn't think of the verse to quote it off the top of my head. There is still much to learn in the Buddhism department for me but you nailed what I was getting at. Now if I could write as beautifully as you do, I would be set. You have a great one...:)
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Jun 08
Ah..Gosh...Shuckins...you are making me blush. Thank you very much for your wonderful words of praise! Absolute music to any writer's ears...and inspiration to keep on keying on! You are a good writer...and have a great way with words yourself. Your write from your heart and I imagine you also write the way you talk. That gives real authenticity to the words. Yes, Buddhism provides so much everyday wisdom and practical spiritual teachings and I continue to apply more of it the longer I am here. Knowledge is power...but the real power comes in the application. Good to be sharing my soul path with you dear friend. Love and light to you.. Raia
@Winter08 (441)
• Canada
30 May 08
What do I do when conflict arises? Run, hide, "get out of town". I actually do "run" in a way because, once I realize conflict is happening (I don't always know I'm in the midst of a conflict), I need time to myself to understand the source(s) of the conflict. What is the conflict truly about because, sometimes, there is an underlying fuel to the conflict that has little to do with the surface action. And what of my own personal stuff is contributing to the conflict. Once I am able to know what is going on for me, I am able to resolve the conflict for myself, within myself. How I reslove it in the outer world depends on who/what the conflict is with and what feels like the best path to resolution, if a path of resolution exists for that particular situation. So my steps are: 1.) realize there is a conflict 2.) run, hide, disappear for a while 3.) feel and think 4.) break it down 5.) know what is my stuff in it 6.) try to understand who/what outer factors are involved 7.) act based on my understanding of the outer factors
• Canada
2 Jun 08
From the sound of your process you have discovered a way of resolving and eventually transforming conflict into valuable life lessons. Even though you may "Run, hide, "get out of town" initially it would appear that you still face the conflict and eventually resolve it in a satisfactory way for yourself...whether others understand it or not. To me that is key...as I mentioned in other replies this evening I have come to accept that the ability to embrace, resolve, transform, work through or whatever label one decides to use comes when we know our wholeness and worth. From that place of intuitive knowing it becomes easier to become more present to circumstances...even when they may not feel emotionally safe. When we move to the very edge of uncertainty conflict can become our spiritual midwife and bring forth tremendous change and inner integration. Your system sounds very effective for you and that is the most important thing...doing what we know works for ourselves while causing no intentional harm to others. Sometimes we invariably hurt others in the midst of resolving conflict but most emotionally mature individuals will be able to accept differences if there is a hope of growing through it. At least that has been my experience. Raia
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
31 May 08
I suppose that my un-centering happened when we found that hubby had bladder cancer. I was with him thro ever test that they did on him holding his hand, Nuses thought it was so sweet that he kept asking for me that they let me in the room every time but had to move behind the screen when radiation was in the room I got to watch all the monitors and they wuold tell me what it was showing. And then we had the family cather to the cancer Doctor so he could tell us the results. yup cancer and he could live up to a year if he took chemo. WEll he said he would take it. But he had walked out of the room before the Doctor told us this. ANd We had to break it to him that he indeed had cancer it took me a week to figure out how to tell him. And even wehn I told him later I found out that he asked Jimmy was he ding. WE went and bought the stones that was to help we fed him greens green tea pills Iron pills were ordered, Had to have a stent put in for the kidney and changed every 3 months. He went thru all this and not a complaint what so ever and all the hospital trip0s after with the blood clots that wouldnt stopp comeing one nifght I tryed to empty 3 bags of clots they were comng so fst and we had blood all over the bathroom when I ran out of bags we called emercency and off he went We had to follow. I would sleep on the floor in ER they would take so long to get him in a room of his own then he would have to stay 48 hours . We would do alot of walking outside to smoke of course he wouldnt stop but I wont either. WE got him back home one day to have to take him back in 2 hours he had had a secisour(sp). The day before he went into coma he took his own shower all I had to do at this time was wash his back he couldnt reach it. then we ran out of hydro 7.5 and the Doc ordered morphine 30 mg. that put him in the coma back to the hospital we went He was singing jesus loves me before he slipped way into the coma Hospic brought him home and about 10 min later he was gone Threw all this I didnt cry oh I wanted to but I just couldnt I had to hold strong I thought. after wards I really broke down and couldnt stop crying for 2 and 1/2 years Daughter wanted to talk about things but all I could do was cry so she didnt now we can. I met Gabs at this time on the net and we would IM for hours and talk. Till way in the mornings. This helped alot then seems like I stopped crying so much dont know what I did or thought but stil no there will be soething to set me off but not as much . Guess I got centered again
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Jun 08
Wow...two in a row...first Polly and now your very moving, touching sharing about your loss and how you have worked through it with such dignity and grace that it still astounds me...even though we have talked about it before. I am not sure I could move through the challenges and conflicts you have during your sweet hubby's cancer. Where you found the strength to be there for him and work through the pending end is something I cannot fathom...and yet you did it. You have an innate centeredness that many do not possess. The courage and acceptance that you have shows that you are able to embrace and transform whatever life throws at you. You have always come across as having an ability to find your calm in the eye of any storm...and you are an inspiration because of it. Thank you for always being so open, "real" and genuine in everything you say and do. Just one of the countless reasons I am proud you chose me to be a friend...and I value our connection so very much. Continue to take good care of yourself...and wrap yourself up in those Angel Wings and stay safe...I know your precious hubby wants that for you until it is time to join him again. My thoughts, prayers and energetic support continue to be send your way. Raia
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
3 Jun 08
Perspective, Thanks I know you keep telling me how strong I am but as I went thru it I always wondered if I did al the right things. and at the last even tho we had talked about him not going on any machines if I did the right thing but I know he didnt want to live on machines butas he casper breath or so thats what it seemed I wanted so very much to turn it around so I could keep him here but I knew it wasnt right so I didnt say a word. Even after he was gone till they took him away I was numb even after 3 1/2 years itdont feel right with out him being here and I do still talk to him and kiss his pic morning an night . ANd chey knows very well who he is. uhgs and blessing
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
4 Jun 08
thanks Polly for you thopughtfulness and am so sorry for your lose also . Dont know which is worse suddenly or hanging on like mu hubby did. and I still really never said good byeafter the time we had but then my son said he heard him kiss me just before he went. hugs to you
1 person likes this
@littleowl (7157)
2 Jun 08
Hi Perspectives-it is so true about how unbalanced we can become within all the conflicts through life-I have been faced with many and been very much unbalanced and negative about it until my way of life changed becoming a pagan-now I find the happiness closeness with nature and animals so much more my spirituality has helped me to just accept everything that is thrown at me and be able to see the positive side of the situation-meditation has helped a great deal too as it quiets your mind and refreshes you but expect you know that -your friend littleowl
1 person likes this
@littleowl (7157)
3 Jun 08
Hi Raia-its lovely to hear from you too and as you say itis good that on lylot we can meet other like-minded friends-I am really pleased and happy that we have met it is good to share on each others discussions of which you do many good ones and I love to reply to them-take care my friend bright blessings littleowl
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Jun 08
Yes, what you say is so true. Initially it surprised me how much I missed my Cyber friends on Mylot. But then I thought why wouldn't that be...we open our hearts and minds to each other and intuitively pick up on each other's essence through our exchanges and our friendships take on real substance. Meeting kindred spirits like you and others in Mylot land has become a blessing to me. After being here a year the world truly feels like a warmer, cozier place because you and others who are walking a similar path to mind are in it. Look forward to more chats within our sharing circle...with our owls hovering close by providing a special kins of wisdom and insight...at least that is why I believe. (Smiles) Raia
@Polly1 (12649)
• United States
31 May 08
Another "thinker", sometimes your discussions really talk to me. I have some of all of the above in my life. I am at a point in my life that I have to stand up and take charge of my life. Its so scary though. My hubby and I were each others lives, then in an instant its all gone. Its surreal when it happens. My entire life changed. I sometimes feel like a teenager just getting out of highschool, and I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I need to grow up. I am 46 yrs. old, a gramma and I still feel like such a helpless kid sometime. Life sure can be scary. I so miss my protecter, I miss so much, I want it back and can't have it back. I do have fear and have to find a way of dealing with it on my own. I do have family, but its no where the same as having a partner in life. This is enough thinking for me. Take care and have a wonderful weekend. Raia cherish your time with your beloved David, we never know when our lives, as we know it can be over with.
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Jun 08
Oh Polly...your heartfelt sharing almost brought tears to my eyes. As I was reading about your loss I was thinking...goodness that is how I would feel if something happened to David. He did have some health challenges in the past couple of years and I was worried that I might lose him...but thankfully his health has returned and I am so grateful. I agree that the uncertainty of life can be really scary. One of my profs at University said that we all have so much to 'defend' ourselves against...from getting in a large moving vehicle knowing we could be in an accident that could end our lives...to falling down the stairs or slipping in the tub and having an injury that could kill us. So my dear friend...you are not alone with your concerns...and I can appreciate that would be more so after losing your beloved partner, friend and protector. From other discussions we have had I know you have a lot of love and support from your friends and family...but I can also appreciate that it is not the same as sharing the ups and downs with the love of your life. Lakota continues to feel the loss of her beloved...and my heart goes out to both of you. You are strong, courageous women and I admire you both for how well you have managed the huge conflict of losing a loved one...that kind of change is not easy to transform and adapt to and I am sensitive to that reality. Wishing you much love...and light and big huggers! Raia
• Canada
3 Jun 08
Ah...your comments about being a blessing...and your big hugs AND affirming feedback gives me warm fuzzys. Thank your for making me feel appreciated. I value our connection Polly and always enjoy picking up right where we left off. There is a high degree of comfort with you...and I value your openness and trust. Look forward to hearing more of your life experiences and how it shaped you. Just one of the many joys of having special friends like you in Mylot Land. My warmest thoughts, big hugs and wishes for many blessings are being sent your way. Raia
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
30 May 08
Hi Raja, Another excellent discussion, it's not surprising that we missed you here. During my early years I didn't handle conflict well, and often chose to yield rather than upset the apple cart. Later, I would become obsessed with it. At one particular difficult time in my life, I became so angry at everything in general, that I needed professional help and had to take a leave of absence from my work. Finally, I was able to see that a certain amount of conflict was necessary and just needed to be channeled in the right direction. I was able to find help in such books as The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, and later from the teachings of Unity. There have been many changes in my life during the past twenty years and I have learned to take the ups and downs without getting too upset. I have learned too that what you resist persists, and to take a more diplomatic approach to conflict of any kind. Such writers as Neale Donald Walsch and Eckhart Tolle have broadened my perspective on life. I guess conflict of some kind will always be with us and the challenge is to see the positive side and find ways to have it work for us and not against us. Blessings.
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Jun 08
Ah...thank you for your encouraging words about being missed here...that is really good to hear. I miss my Mylotting time and being able to share ideas with thoughtful on-line friends like yourself. Your open candor about parts of your soul growth is appreciated. Learning to 'tame the tiger" as some ancient Chinese teaching suggest appears to be what you have done and that is commendable. Interesting I have studied Unity teachings...and they were instrumental in setting me on my path of a quest for metaphysical understanding. It has branched outward from there and my journey has included a variety of teachings that include Buddhism, The Koran, Kabbalah, Native Spirituality, The Tao, I Ching, Fung Shui and through it all I now live move within an energy-based framework that the outer appearance of things. I also enjoyed Norman Vincent Peale's books and have read most of Neale Donald Walsch's "Coversation" books as well. No wonder we feel like kindred spirits. I do not have as much time to visit friends' sites as I would like...but I sure do appreciate your support and interest of my topics here. Best regards to you and yours...and I hope the conflicts and challenges you and your family have been facing are beginning to decrease and give you some much needed breathing space to recover. Wishing you many light filled blessings, Raia
• India
30 May 08
I tend to do my best to pass it onto someone else whom I believe is capable of handling the situation much better than me. In the end if I have no other choice then I jump into the action with enough passivity to prevent the blame being pushed on me at the end of the conflict. One thing that I make sure while handling conflicts is that I will never pass it onto some else just to see them suffer. In fact I like handling conflicts. It makes my daily life a little more lively and is is a nice break from the boring College schedule that I have complimented with the ton of studies that follows it
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Jun 08
Hello...welcome to Mylot and thanks for dropping by to add your very insightful views on conflict to the topic. The fact that you have figured out at what sounds like a chronologically young age that it is better to handle conflicts is rather remarkable. You sound 'wise beyond your years' and it is refreshing! Also the fact that you do not pass conflict on to others indicates a level of emotional maturity than many do not possess...at any age. So your approach to conflict definitely appears to be working for you and in my view when something is working...there is not need to change it. Raia
@dodoguy (1297)
• Australia
30 May 08
The basis of material existence is conflict. A contest of two, which establish an equilibrium by their opposition. Either one without the other would increase without limit, and at the same time would have no context. Our reality is based on that principle. One IS two. Because without the other, one is all, yet has no measure. Yin & Yang. Black & White. Inner & Outer. Up & Down. Hot & Cold. Nothing and Something. Sonny & Cher... Our particular realities are composed of a seething ocean of conflicts which concatenate infinitely and endlessly, from the largest galaxies to the tiniest particles, and across all dimensions, to yield the relative harmony and equilibrium that we are accustomed to in our surroundings. Our paths THROUGH our particular realities correspond precisely with the victories and defeats, the gains and losses, necessary to permit the changed circumstances of our state - physical, emotional and spiritual - within our surrounding environment. Without conflict, the material world would not - CANNOT - exist. Conflict is the substantiating principle of the Universe.
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Jun 08
I agree to a degree. However, this discussion was put forth to explore how we navigate successfully within the constant changes of the Universe. It is more about how to "live in this world...but not of it" so that the constant changes do not disrupt our inner peace and sense of purpose. There is an ancient Chinese saying..."embrace tiger/return to mountain" from the martial art tai chi chuan that suggests a methodology for managing conflict. If to "return to mountain" is synonymous with equanimity, peace and harmony the ancients believed that it could only be realized by becoming totally present to life and by embracing the "tigers" that crossed one's path. In reality more people want to do just the opposite than follow that pathway to discovery. As I mentioned in the initial post..the idea of making friends with conflict seems so unnatural because we all know what it feels like to be chewed up, scratched or diminished by the seeming "tigers" in all our lives. When people share how they turned their "scars into stars" most of them attest that the process of facing their fears and moving through them created lasting transformational changes. For many who approach conflict from this place find that it becomes a kind of spiritual midwife that allows them to awaken to the possibilities conflict reveals. In my view the answer lies in developing the ability to know and accept our wholeness and true self worth. Another interesting dialog my friend...thanks for always adding fresh perspectives to any discussion. Raia