my son was suspended from school today for biting.

@suehan1 (4356)
Australia
May 30, 2008 2:52am CST
apparently he had bitten a boy in the school ground and was immediately suspended.the incident was not investigated properly,but because he admitted to biting he was suspended without questioning the others involved.when i finally got to speak with him it turns out that he had been bullied by the child he bit .this child bullied him and called him names and had him cornered,he was scared so he just bit him.my son has difficulties with social skills and when he is in a situation like this he does not know what to do,so he lashes out.i agree he should be punished and suspended for his actions as he should not bite another person,but i am annoyed that the situation was not investigated and the other child has walked away scot free.also my girlfriends son was bitten at the same school about 6 months ago and the child who bit him was never suspended.i feel i have the right to ask for my sons sake that he should not be bullied,and that action should be taken on the other child involved.what are your thoughts and have your children ever been suspended.cheers sue
5 people like this
20 responses
@spyjob (214)
• Philippines
30 May 08
You should talk with the school administration and give them the other side of the story. The school must be fair here and should hear both sides before giving punishment. Disciplinary actions should be fair too for both children or else better look for another school that teaches values. You should take immediate action to be fair with your child.
2 people like this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
thanks spyjob.i am going to speak with the school and discuss fairness in this situation.apparently because my son admitted he did it,they can suspend him immediately without even speaking with the parents or even speaking with the other child involved.so i really do not think that this is fair,considering it was my son who was bullied and he was honest in admitting he did bite the other boy.thanks for your support.cheers sue
@aplaza (631)
• Netherlands
30 May 08
This doesn't sound fair at all. Of course you should ask for him to be unsuspended. Tell the schoolhead about the bullying and that others have not been suspended for the same offence. What really angers me is that nothing has changed over the years. When I was in school I was suddenly attacked by a girl I didn't even know. I had never seen her before. What do you do when you are ambushed? You hit back! The little so-and-so actually bit me in the arm during this tussle. It was horrible and I had to get a tetanus shot. But what happened after that was even more amazing. My mom had to come to the school with me and we were told off1 And the real perp was not suspended nor did she get any punishment of any kind. This was years ago and is basically the same thing. I'm sooo angry that it is still going on! So please get up the guts to say something about it and don't forget to let us know how it ends!
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
thanks a lot for your support.i am amazed that this still goes on.don't worry i intend to find out why other children have never been suspended,before this.if children were all suspended for biting,then i think most of the kindy kids would all be suspended.yes it horrible to be cornered as my son was and bullied and he did the first thing he could think to get away.i asked him why he just did,nt go to the teachers.he said he was trying to get away,but they would not let him go.i think the system needs to be reviewed.cheers sue
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
30 May 08
Well... I think that after talking to your son... and having the whole story... I would ask to have an appointment with the principal... or who ever suspended him... and give him your side of the story. That's about all you can do. Sadly in this life... the weak is bullied and is always the victim of the bully. And the way the law is structured... the law punish the victim to defend itself from the bully. My way of thinking today... is that if you are attack by a bully... send him to hospital. If you are going to be punish for defending yourself... you might as well do a good job of it.
2 people like this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
i like your thinking aussie.the way he has been suspended you would have thought he had broken the other childs legs.they suspended him before they even contacted me or got any stayements from the other child.they even wrote when i had to be at the school without telling me.so i have to arrange time off work and child care late on a friday night.i will be demanding some explanations to how the system is run.thanks cheers sue
@selby70 (283)
30 May 08
I dont think he should have been suspended, I dont know how old he is, my grandson went through a phase of biting if he was protecting himself he seems to have got out of it now. Once again I dont think they should be suspended they should be punished, my son when he was at school he has left now when his friend got suspended he loved it time of school. I would want it investigated and like you said a child bit before and was not suspended, and if I was not happy with out come at school I would take the matter further, which I have done with a school in the past. Kids are a pain we were in a play area 2 days ago when one child protecting himself bit another well the mother made such a thing about it and it was her son that was the bully, that is what annoys me they think their children should not get hit back.
2 people like this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
30 May 08
yes i am going to take this matter up with the school on monday when i have calmed down.i am going to demand that they discipline the other boy involved and ask for an explaination why this was not investigated.thanks for your support.cheers sue
@aseretdd (13712)
• Philippines
31 May 08
My baby is still too young to go to school... but i know that she is extremely shy... and if this sort of thing would happen to her... i will certainly go to the school administration to air my side... the young bully should not just go scot free... or else... that would sen the message that it is okay for him to bully others... his parents should be made know of how their son is treating others...
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
yes i should imagine the little bully is feeling very smug at the moment,and he certainly knew which buttons to push to get my son riled up.i will certainly asking the pricipal to inform his parents,and i think they may get a surprised at the language this child used as well.i hope this never happens to your little one.cheers sue
@djmarion (4905)
• Philippines
31 May 08
i don't think your son should be suspended, granted that he had bitten his classmate he should be punished but not suspension. the school could scold him but they must investigate to let the truth come out, your son only did that to depend himself and so he is not the only one at fault.
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
yes your totally right.they should of investigated the matter before suspension,i know my son and he would only do something like that if he feels trapped or frightened.thanks for the support.cheers sue
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
31 May 08
How old is your boy? I would most definitely be talking to the school about this. Your son does deserve punishment for biting but so does the other kid for bullying. These are the types of situations you later will see on the news with someone getting seriously hurt. ONe of my girls got suspended once for shoving a girl. I knew the girl and there had been an ongoing battle between the two. I also knew my daughter altho very quick to react was not a violent person by nature. she would get frustrated when provoked and handle things perhaps wrong. This girl had been taunting my daughter for months and had gone so far as to punch herself and put bruises on herself and report to t he police that my daughter had attacked her. I got called out of work for that one. Luckily my daughter was with a friend of mine and no where near where this girl said the attack occured. When she got suspended, I told the school the history of these girls and they actually ended up suspending the other girl as well and then had a mediater step in and work with both girls on how to handle their dislike of each other. They actually had in-school restraining orders on them. They were not allowed to interact at all in anyway. Simply suspending your son and not getting to the core of the problem is not going to solve anything. I would push the school to be more pro-active in resolving this. I'd also want to talk t o the other kid's parents.
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
your so right that the school should be more pro active in finding the core of the problem.my son is turning 12 in 2 weeks,but unfortunately he was very sick when he was 2 years old which left him with some minor delevelopment issues,so really he would be around a 9 year old mentally and his social skills are not that good.so in saying this the school knows that he may react like he did when pushed into this situation,and i feel they need to have investigated the situation before handing out suspensions and asking why did he bite the other child.the school will be having me visit them first thing on monday.cheers sue and thanks for your support
@alienstar (5138)
• India
31 May 08
Children especially during their younger ages shoudl be taken care off very well a sthis is teh age tehy do so many mistakes in life and will definitely need parents guidance and parents also need to give enough time also to their children constantly keeping aslo in touch of tehir school things
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
yes it is a really hard age for children and we have to be supportive as well as trying to teach them what is right and wrong.i makes it hard when they are bullied to tell them what they did is wrong.cheers sue
@Hatley (159419)
• Garden Grove, California
31 May 08
all school bullies should be reported and dealt with by the school authorities at once. you do havethe right to see to it your child is not bullied at school and to tell the school authorities about this.I have never come across this problem with my children when they were little thank Goodness.
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
yes i agree that all school bullies should be reported and i am going to demand that my child has protection from these bullies.your so lucky that your children have never been in these situations,because you have to be supportive of your child and at the same time tell him what he did was wrong.its really hard.cheers sue
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
31 May 08
Actually, I think you should talk to the school b/c not only should your son be punished for biting (to learn that it's not appropriate) but the other boy should be too (to learn that bullying isn't appropriate either). After all, what's to keep him from going after another kid? **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
your right twoey,if this other child is not pulled up for what he did,he may very well continue to be a bully,so if he gets away with it now he may get away with it all the time.thanks for your support.cheers sue
@twallace (2675)
• United States
30 May 08
You can't get mad at him for protecting himself the best way that he could dealing with a bully in school. I think everyone goes through that faze and it's not fun. You deal with per-pressure from a young age and your son just took up for himself. Now when he goes back to school the next problem will be if the kid keeps messing with him. I hope that he doesn't but you make sure that you stay on top of it.
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
i actually not mad at my son for protecting himself,i am actually really mad at the school for handling this situation badly.i have sat my son down and told him that biting is wrong and all that,but deep down i think good on you for sticking up for yourself. i am going to demand that the school has a duty of care to my son and ask what are they going to put in place to protect my son from bullying.thanks for your support.cheers sue
@valerie37 (969)
• United States
30 May 08
You're right to be upset. The child who has been bullying your son should not get off scot free. If he does he'll just keep bullying others and who knows sometime someone he bullies may end up doing worse than just biting him. If I were you I would also want to know why if there was another incident with biting why in that case the child who bit the other didn't get suspended and now your son does the same and he gets suspended unless it's a case of maybe school policies being changed in those 6 months between the two incidents. It seems like schools are changing policies and rules so much anymore that they're hard to keep up with. Luckily my children were never suspended, but my sister's daughter was several times.
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
thanks valerie i am going to demand some answers on monday and definately ask why the they other child re the last incident was never suspended.it seems if you are going to have a rule it should be one rule for all.i am going to be doing a little investigating of my own.cheers sue
@aswinbio (174)
• India
30 May 08
thats not fair. the authorities should have investigated before punishing
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
yes aswinbio,its definately not fair and they should have investigated before suspending my son.they did not even question the child who was biten.so my son was honest and said yes i have biten him and apparently they can suspend without warning if a child admits to doing the biting.so much for being honest,this will only teach children to be dishonest in future.cheers sue
@jczvrse (169)
• United States
30 May 08
Yes biting is bad bad but in your case it seems your child was bullied so badly he was terrified and a person not just a child just like an animal will use whatever means necessary to protect themselves yes even biting. Schools these days are just terrible when it comes to bullying they do nothing but if you defend yourself because they won't you get in trouble. I am going through the same sort of thing with my daughter in JR High. She was hit by another girl and yes she fought back in self defense and both were suspended. No she is having trouble with another girl and rumors were spread that my daughter was going to start a fight. When in actuality my daughter was going to go talk with this girl when a gang of kids surrounded them and someone shoved my daughter into this girl but no fight started. She was taken to the office and intimidated by the teachers. They called me at home and told me that if she was to et into a fight she would be arrested for assault whether she started it or not I told them to control the other girl and I will control mine but that mine has a right to defend herself and if she gets suspended or arrested for it I will sue the school. The schools need to stop taking sides and see bullying for what it really is and stop it.
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
gosh that is terrible what your daughter is going through and she is so lucky to have you for support.i find that it is not fair on the children who are defending themselves,that the bullies are getting away with it.im glad you stood your ground with the school,and i am going to stand my ground and demand a full investigation into this matter and also about anti bulling.thanks for your support .cheers sue
• United States
30 May 08
I would talk to the princeaple for your son was only trying to protect himself while being cornered by the bully. Yes we try to teach our children that biteing isn't nice but when they have no other defense but to quickly think of that out of reaction then they feel they have to do just that. I feel the other kid should get suspended for what he did and starting the whole thing not your son. It's not right for the one's that start things like bullying to walk free they should have to be punished for their actions as well. I hope this whole situation get's resolved for you soon. I wish you and your son the best of luck take care.
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
thanks remembering1996.you are so right in what you .kids when cornered will do what they can to protect themselves,they don't have time to stop and think,what i am doing is wrong,they are just trying to get away from the bullies.i am talking to the principal first thing monday.cheers sue
@minnie_98214 (10574)
• United States
30 May 08
You are right both boys should be punished as your child should not be being bullied. My son got held by one kid and kicked by another and when we reported it the kids inolved got recess taken away for 2 days. I thought it was a weak punishment for the damage they did cause they kicked him hard. But it did work these boys have not done this since and they are now trying to be friends but I dont like them coming around. I hope it all works out for you and your son.
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
thanks minnie.yes the other boy should be held acountable as well.gosh your son was really hurt and they just took away their recess,how can that be fair as well.i think schools should be more focused on this anti bullying now,and really be investigating matters a bit more before suspending some one.cheers sue
• China
30 May 08
no,i don't think your son supposed to be suspended.Aparantly it was unfair,the child that bullied your son should have taken the prime responsibility,although your son did sth. wrong ,he just wanted to eacape being hurt.
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
yes i don't think my son should have been suspended for protecting himself either.he told me he was going to tell the teachers when thye cornered him and he got scared and bit the other boy.but my son being honest and telling the truth,he was the only one punished.thanks for your support.cheers sue
@TriciaW (2442)
• United States
30 May 08
I would call the school. We had a problem with something like this at our school as I saw one girl grab another girl by the hair when getting off the bus and then take a swing at her. The girl swung back to get away and the school said that because she did neither would be suspended. I called the school because I know that there is a bullying law going into effect this next school year that has been handed down by the federal government. I also did not have a child involved so felt that I was objective and let me just say I let them hear exactly what I thought about allowing a child to bully others and when the kids lash back they shouldn't be the ones held accountable. I did remind them about the anti bullying law and it finally came to pass the girl that started it was suspended not the other girl. Look up what your state dept of education has listed as the date this law will be demanded by the school and hit them with it. Good luck and know you are right!!!
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
hi triciaw.thanks for your support here.i am going to be very vocal about anti-bulling when i go to the school monday.i know it is a big thing here in australia as well,but i am not sure if any laws have been passed yet,so i might have to do some searching to get some info before i go to see them and get the facts.i will let every on know what is going on.cheers sue
@posham (1237)
• Philippines
31 May 08
i haven't heard of anyone being uspended for biting.. but i was bitten a lot when i was a kid. i don't think suspension was the answer though.. counselling would have fit better in situations like that. so that we can understand what's really going on.
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
yes this is first time i have heard any child being suspended for biting.i think suspension is not the answer,they just think its 3 days off school,they would be better to have to pick up all the rubbish at school for 2 weeks or so and the they may think twice about doing again.cheers sue
@posham (1237)
• Philippines
31 May 08
yeah.. cause some kids might bite other kids on purpose just to get out of school.. you'll never know.. lol..
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
yes i can just imagine,they will be lining up to bite each other.lol cheers sue
@vera5d (3958)
• United States
30 May 08
geez, i would be calling the principal for a meeting asap. Maybe suggest your son receive counseling in lieu of being suspended (don't schools have guidance counselors?) the other kid should equally be punished for being the instigator. I think suspension for biting is a little harsh...wouldn't detention be more appropriate? I think if you talk to the principal and explain the situation (especially since all the things you're son has been through!) and that you think it is inappropriate in finding a solution for the problem (which would be reducing bullying and teaching kids how to respond to it properly or learning better social skills) that the principal would open up his or her eyes. Of course, I don't know all the time about what schools and teachers think - they don't ever seem to know what's really "best" - they just get caught up in their procedures. Good luck with it!
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
31 May 08
thats a good idea vera about the counseling for my son,and i agree the other child should be punished as well.i would think schools should be on the anti bulling bandwaggon by now.but it just seems to be one rule for one and another rule for the other.i will be seeing the principal on monday.cheers sue