Is there a difference between lying and not telling the whole story?

Philippines
May 30, 2008 11:53am CST
I've been kind of wondering if there was a difference between lying to someone, be it your partner for example, and not telling him/her the whole story, as in incomplete information which he/she doesn't have to know. --Is there? or it's just about the same thing?--(^^,)
7 responses
@selby70 (283)
30 May 08
I think it depends if it is going to hurt someone or not, I hate lies, when I was married to my first husband I had an affair long story but it was well over between us, I have explained in another post. I am married to my second husband 22 years I never had an affair or cheated on him. I never told him I had an affair when I was married before because I know he would have spent his time wondering if I would do it when I was married to him, I know he would because that is what he is like worrys about everything sometimes I thought maybe Ishould tell him but to this day I am glad I have not.
• Philippines
30 May 08
That is exactly what i mean. Lying for the right reasons, and to avoid complications and further conflict. There's nothing wrong unless he doesn't know. So you still plan to keep it from him forever? or waiting for the right time? Thanks for the response!(^^,)
@selby70 (283)
30 May 08
I suppose I could tell him now as he knows I have never cheated on him, and he would understand why I have not told him before, so maybe if the conversation ever comes up about cheating I will tell him.
• Philippines
31 May 08
Good for you. He will understand if you explain it to him very well and very clear, especially your reason and intention. Goodluck!(^^,)
• New Zealand
31 May 08
Regardless of whether it is lying or just withholding information both are issues against veracity so I guess it is of the same kind... it is still an offense you committed against that person that I'm pretty sure you don't want to be committed against you... in one way or another your subconscious mind would never be at peace about such an issue... you will battle with yourself in defending the gravity of your acts... although I presume you would rather withhold information in order to avoid fights with your loved one... I'd rather advise you to not do anything against your loved one that will trigger a fight so that you will never be haunted by your conscience for wthholdng information... rather than force you to tell the truth... "Honesty is good but above honesty a clear conscience is better..."-drsparkle314
• Philippines
31 May 08
Very well said(^^,)
• New Zealand
31 May 08
thanks for marking mine as the best response...
@bluishrose (2291)
• Philippines
30 May 08
If she ask you and you only tell half of the story then it is lying but if you are just telling some bits of the story without her asking then i don't think its consider as lying. But for me to have a clean conscience better tell everything so that there won't be any worries.
• Philippines
30 May 08
So for you it isn't exactly the same? I guess the best way to avoid greater conflicts is to just stay clean and give it all out. Clean up the skeletons in the closet. Thank you for the response!(^^,)
• Philippines
30 May 08
Yes i guess its not really the same, there's a bit (but little tiny bit of difference lolz!)
31 May 08
Hi My personal feeling is that it is still lying, just lying by omission, and can cause the same awful fallout as when someone finds out that you are lying to them, even if you just neglected to tell them something. Of course it is for the individual to guage whether or not to tell. In some instances it may be better to take the chance of the person finding out, rather than hurting the. But that will depend on what it is that you are not wanting to share. Again, I still believe it is the same thing. Violetdreamslingerie
• Philippines
31 May 08
It would really be the same awful fallout. Thanks for the response!(^^,)
@mentalward (14697)
• United States
30 May 08
Technically, yes. One is lying, the other is withholding information.
• Philippines
31 May 08
Thank you for that simple answer(^^,)
@Gesusdid (1681)
• United States
30 May 08
yeah it is cause you know in the back of your mind that your hiding something from your partner that your leaving outta the story that your currently telling them , and making them beleive that your telling the truth , for me i couldnt do that cause my mind wont let me dont it , it always bites at me all the time i guess thats a good thing
• Philippines
30 May 08
the one that bites you may very well be your conscience.LOL. So what your saying is Lying=hiding something and leaving out part of a story. I admire you for you can tell everything and the whole truth even if you have to face certain circumstances. Thanks for the response(^^,)
• United States
30 May 08
In my opinion yes. Telling half the story is a lie regardless. It only makes matters worse even just telling a partial. I myself hate a liar. I cannot ever forgive someone for not speaking the truth. It only hurts when you lie to someone. Maybe if you lied about something and you fear forgiveness, then maybe you should have never said anything in the first place. I think forgiveness can only be given to someone if they have the whole truth not just a portion. Once you lie, you have to tell another to cover the first one up! Not Nice! Would you want someone to lie to you?
• Philippines
30 May 08
I personally do not like being lied to or being fooled or anything, but I would forgive someone for lying to me if he/she has reasonable motives in doing so. I know i'm not the most honest person on the planet so i shouldn't act so pure. I respect your opinion. thanks for responding!(^^,)