What will you do when ur friend tell you that they cut themself?

@5mayday (1054)
Norway
May 30, 2008 2:55pm CST
I do have atleast 3 friends that I know they have cutted themself and most of them is because of love problems. I find that really stupid, even one of them posted a picture of her wrist with the cutting to her blog and with a text saying "it was done by paper and she did not cut herself" Noone of the friends belived that it was by paper nd can tell that she did cut herself. Everyone was so mad and told her to dont ever do it again, but I think she have done it atleast 3-5 times by now and maybe sometimes that I know about.... do you know someone that have done it? what do you think?
2 people like this
12 responses
@skaterx (530)
• Finland
30 May 08
Try to ask them to go to therapy or to a councellor so they can deal with their other problems. People cut themselves to release or numb the other pain they have from their other problems, but obviously its not a good thing, you get scars. And its not a long term solution to problems, so you have to help them realise that.
@kassdaw (593)
• United States
30 May 08
Again, like I posted before, if it is an attention thing then therapy isn't the solution. If they are proud of it and showing it off then they are begging for someone to notice. If she figures out the real problem and talk about that, it may help. But if it is an "Emo" thing, nothing will help, it is a sub-culture that prides it's self on cutting and being stupid.
• United States
13 Jul 08
This discussion has really urked me. I have yet to come across one of you who understands what self injury is and why people do it. And that's ok. Those of you who havent been there, cant understand. The whole 'emo' thing is not taken right by those who have talked about it. The whole 'subculture' was not made or based upon cutting. Thats bogus. Every single person who self injures is not on an attention ploy. How judgemental. Some people use it as a coping mechanism. And thats what people don't understand. These people have been through terrible things and thats why they turn to self injury. Just remember, walk a day in their shoes, then change your judgements
@dierdre (2213)
• Philippines
31 May 08
yeah, i was in 1st year high school that time and a friend told me that she cut her wrists coz she broke up or had a quarrel with her bf that time. she even showed me the scar on her wrist, she told me that she eventually stopped coz it was painful, haha! i really thought it was silly but of course i comforted her. but then again we were really young then so maybe she was doing it to call attention upon herself as well.
@figjam00 (1450)
• India
31 May 08
Well I don't have any friend who did this sort of thing. But the people who do these kind of stuff are very emotional ones. They are emotionally dependent on someone. Personally I think it as a crazy thing because cutting yourself is extreme way to express grief.
• United States
31 May 08
I will admit that I used to cut, not for love purposes, but I went through a deep depression after my first child was born. I did not do it to kill myself, or even severely hurt myself. When you hurt or cut yourself intentionally, or even on accident your body releases natural endorphins which are chemicals that help to regulate pain and make you feel better. These chemicals are in anti-depressant medicines. At the time, when I would get really upset and couldn't stop crying or having one of my rages, I would cut myself to physically feel better and calm myself down. I did not want to take anti-depressants because of fear of addiction or side effects. Since then, I have learned much better ways to deal with emotional hardship and pain and am no longer depressed, but I just thought I would share my own personal experience and perspective as someone who has been there.
• Philippines
31 May 08
I think it is more easy in your sake if your friend will tell you that she cut herself and not deny or hide it. A lot of people cut themselves and give there best not to be found out and not asking for help just like that is more dangerous. I have this friend who use to cut herself back when she was single and always assured it that we will never find it out by hiding the cut marks using wristband or wrist watch. That really scared us cause we don't know what are the things that have been running inside her head and its just so hard to think why wouldn't she ask us for help. It really worries us but we manage to have a little by little talk with her about her problems and now I think she is more stable but I doubt that she will remain like that since she is still quiet when it come to her problems. I think that best thing to do when someone told you that they cut themselves is to be patient and talk to them slowly and not make them change in one move.
• Philippines
31 May 08
i have this close friend in school who cuts herself... and she admits to people that she cuts herself, she told me that people think that her life is so perfect but at home she has problems with her sisters and her mom marries, and divorces them anyway, she goes to her dad and wants to stay with his dad's new family but i don't think that her mom would ever let her, they were supposed to move to america that's why she broke up with her bf even though they still love each other. it's very tragic, i was upset with myself coz i wasn't able to do anything for her before i left school other than just listen to her and keep her company in school.
• United States
31 May 08
You should encourage your friends to seek professional help. Cutting oneself is never a healthy coping mechanism. This behavior is dangerous because of the possibility of cutting an artery. It is a cry for help. There are many counselors who specialize in self-destructive behaviors and day treatment programs for the most severe cases. Please encourage your friends to see a doctor immediately for referral.
@salonga (28016)
• Philippines
31 May 08
Yes, i also know one person who did the same and just like you I found it really soooo stupid. Only fools do that as we are not supposed to do that to our body. Our body is given to us by God and we have no right to cut any of its part just like that... if only for silly thing they call love... but actually not love.. for foolishness!
• United States
30 May 08
Unfortunately, I that friend. I did it mostly because school was hard for me. I would never do that because of love; I could never allow myself to be vulnerable in front of someone else like that. I do cut sometimes because I don't know what to do with my life. Not a good reason, I know, but it's the only thing that helps me. I'm twenty-two years old and I don't know what I'm doing with my life. My mom tries to help, but there's nothing that can truly be done. I have to crawl out of my shell on my own, I guess.
@heleni0 (322)
30 May 08
If they're going around showing people pictures of their cuts then they're doing it for attention and they need a good kick in the head. If they're trying to hide it then i'd highly suggest letting them know that you're always there to talk to if they need to vent. Self harm is a difficult thing to go through, I know. A good friend can make the world of difference.
@kassdaw (593)
• United States
30 May 08
If they openly say that they cut themselves or make sure that people can see the product of their distruction. I just laugh at them. They are "emo" and think that it is something that is cool to do. Or they are doing for attention. People like that don't realize that there are people that can't help themselves. Some cut without knowing or some use it as a control device. Those people cover it up and don't want others to know. By control device I mean that they are trying to control something in their life and see pain as the one thing that no one else can control. So yes, I laugh, so what if some say that I am mean and cruel. But I know the pain that is caused by self inflicted injury. And to do it for attention is completely wrong and stupid.