As a parent how would you handle this?

@TriciaW (2441)
United States
June 3, 2008 7:20am CST
My daughter came home from softball practice last night and told me her coach said they would put in a pinch hitter for her. Let me clarify that my daughter has dwarfism so is very tiny and she is not the best little ball player but she gives it her all. When she does hit it the ball doesn't go too far but it is also very hard for pitchers to pitch to her because she is tiny so a lot of time she gets walked anyway. My daughter didn't know what it meant so when she came home and told me she was kind of excited about it until she asked me what it was and I told her it meant that someone would bat for her and she would run the bases after the hitter got on base. My daughter didn't think it was so great after that. I was shocked actually because this year she had thought about not playing because the girls were much taller but they asked her to play since they all played together last year. I am not sure if the coach is worried about her so is thinking about doing this or because of her hitting ability. What would you do? I really need advice on this one cause I don't want to ruin what she enjoys so much.
3 people like this
15 responses
@ladyljs (1303)
• United States
3 Jun 08
girls softball - Kami before a game
I can definitely relate to this. My little girl also plays softball and has yet to hit a ball, not because of her size...but because she just hasn't had enough practice time one on one to do so!Well this is her second year, and I have noticed that other first year girls are being put in for the entire game while my little one sits in the dug out. None of these little girls hit the ball, but there is favoritism due to family backgrounds. Well, I had finally had enough when my little one didn't play ONE INNING! NOT ONE! Needless to say, I approached the coach, who gave me some nonsense about rules, regulations etc. Since we were playing a back to back game, she couldn't play?!?!? Well,then why were the other girls playing?I think that these coaches just get too dam--d concerned about winning and don't worry about what kind of emotional scarring they are doing to the children. Next year, we will be trying out for a different team...with a coach that has genuine concern for their players!Give your little girl a big hug and tell her that it's not her fault that the coach doesn't see her potential. Someday, when she hits that home-run grand-slam, you can tell that coach what to do with her coaching style.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
3 Jun 08
I would call the coach and ask him what made him make this decision. I would also say that your daughter joined the team to be a player, not someone who needs a pinch hitter for her. I think it is great that the other girl on the team are great about having your daughter still be on the team even though she is shorter than them. I think his decision is wrong, and I would tell him my concerns.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
3 Jun 08
I would get a hold of the coach without her knowing and find out. I would also tell him that she should not be treated any different. It is a game not a big test that they have to pass and she should be able to take her own turn.
1 person likes this
@jillbeth (2711)
• United States
3 Jun 08
Too many kids coaches get caught up in the competition of the game without a thought to the kids feelings. He should let her hit, how will she ever improve if she's not given the chance? I think I would have a talk with the coach and ask him if he is more concerned about the game or your daughter's safety. Encourage him to help her learn to hit better. Nicely, of course, you catch more flies with honey...
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
4 Jun 08
Exactly - I could'nt have said it better!
To be honest Tricia and I don't mean this in a mean way at all and I hope you understand that before I say what I'm about to. I only mean good and never harm. You should talk to her coach and tell him to treat her as he would any other child and not special because of her being small because she's got to learn how to make it through life when she gets older. Sheilding her from life and it's obstacles isn't the answer. If she's not helped to solve her own problems then what will she do when she's older and moves on her own? My mom made my sister and I hang clothes on the clothes line, my sister had kidney problems as a baby which stunted her growth so she was very short but she'd have to take a stool out with her so she could reach the lines. It taught her how to solve her own problems so that when she left the "nest" she was able to fully care for herself. Understand?
• Australia
4 Jun 08
I understand this one, I was born with a disability and my parents made me find ways to do the things that life sent my way. I have been recently told by two people that I look awkward when I do things, my answer to them was 'really? Oh well, I don't feel awkward and I enjoy doing this so does it really matter what I look like when I do it?' (this was about me making my beaded jewellery, which rocks if I may say so myself!). Anyways, off the topic a little here, sorry.... back to it... maybe there is a stand that your daughter could stand on to make her higher so that she could be a pitch hitter too - does it show that I don't know anything about ball sports?
@julyteen (13259)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Jun 08
i think you must give more encouragement to your daughter. she loves what she was doing before, not until she realized his disability. in this, you just have to support her and inspire her more so she will overcome her disability.
• Australia
4 Jun 08
Oooo this one hits home hard for me (no pun intended), how dare he discriminate against her because of her disability (I have a disability and this sort of situation is why I never got into playing sport, when I was seven one mean teacher told me that they would get someone to hit the ball for me in T-ball because I took too long getting the bat to sit right in my hands, I told him that it was ok I didn't want to play in his silly team anyways and never played sport again!). This coach seems to not have the team spirit right, it is not about winning it is about how much you enjoy the game, has he not heard this one before. I would be setting up a private meeting with this man face to face and asking him exactly what is going on and why it is happening. How dare he. I would be informing him, if your meeting with him does not change the situation, that you will be asking the other team members parents to give you their insight into what is going on and what they think would be appropriate for the game and its enjoyment level. Then again, maybe your daughter is having genuine difficulties and does need a hand in this regard, you never know. I would be asking your child what suits her, if she is old enough to know, and then speaking to the coach. I wish you luck in this, all people should be able to enjoy team sport as a child because this readies us for the teams that are naturally formed in life.
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
4 Jun 08
well, i will definitely have a chat with the coach and tell him about how my daughter feels about the arrangement... i can understand why your daughter thinks it is not a great idea as her feelings are hurt... i think she feels that she is being look down upon because she is not that tall... also, how can she learn how to bat if other people keeps on batting for her??? good luck... take care and have a nice day...
@ynigz1 (472)
• China
4 Jun 08
Parents is too hard to educate their child, most of times they don't listen to you.
@ynigz1 (472)
• China
4 Jun 08
Oh parents really hard to be, when I have my child I maybe bothed by them also.
• India
4 Jun 08
Well in this case the coach wants his team to be perfect. So he has taken this decision. I am not a parent still i would like to tell you that tell the coach your daughter's problem, and tell him to improve her skills and power. Ask him what should be done, or any alternative to improve her hitting abilities. Ask him for some exercises that can be done at home. It would help a lot thats what i think, anyways you have told her what the coach has said so you can practice at home. This will not keep her away from the game which she loves but also it will help her to get a place in the squad next year or so.
@Hatley (164468)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Jun 08
If I were you and concerned as you are, I would talk to the coach just as you have explained it here to us.maybe you should also explain that you do not want to ruin what she enjoys so much and probably the coach has a heart and also does 'not want to ruin her fun. at leastI do hope so.
@kezabelle (2985)
3 Jun 08
I would be finding out first what his motives are for doing this, if it is to make sure the team wins id be very angry if it purely is in thought for your child id be happy but yes i thinkkyou need to talk with him first
@freedomg (1684)
• United States
3 Jun 08
I would deffinatly talk to the coach. The sport is supposed to be about having fun and not just winning. I think see will feel awkward with a pitch hitter and will lose her love of the sport. If the coach is all about winning then he needs to get out of kids sports. I'm sure if the other girls asked her to play then they are in it more for the fun and would also feel bad if their friend no longer enjoyed the sport because of this. Best of luck.
@jrsmith (293)
• United States
3 Jun 08
I feel that is totally wrong. She is the same size she was when she was selected for the team and they knew how she hit. It is not major league teams here we talking about. I would probably go talk to the coach and let him/her know how I felt about it. How old is your daughter? That don't matter except younger children can be mislead so easy like her thinking it was something for a pinch hitter to hit for her.