advice please? Be in my daughter's classroom for one month? toilet training

@ch88ss (2270)
United States
June 4, 2008 10:38pm CST
Another terrible night. I came home today and found out that my daughter wet her pants twice, in school. I don't know what else I can do to encourage her to go use the restroom. She does fine at home. I had been in school on Tuesday to show her the new Behavior Support Plan checklist and she was good and completed most of them. But then when it was time for restroom she needed some reminders. Which Teacher says she did but Britney still refused to go to the restroom. I don't know what else I can do. Somehow I wonder if maybe I stayed in school during the beginning of the year to get her accustomed to going to the restroom etc it would have worked out well. You see she is autistic and do not communicate her needs and hence the pants wetting. She will be 6yrs old and going to the 1st grade in september. I wodner if in 1st grade I should take a month off from work and go to school everyday and show her the schedules and be her shadow and also help the teacher out. I like to be able to show the teacher what method works with her and guide the new teacher a little bit so things start of right. Once my daughter starts something it is not easy to change because she realized she could get away with it and that was exactly what happend at school. The teacher let her get away with it so many times that now she refused to go to the restroom when it is part of her routine schedule. so I like some advice. Do you think I should take 1 month off to be my daughter's shadow in school (1st grade) and also have the opportunity to show the teacher how to handle this problem. Will it be a distraction for the classroom? What do you think? Should I do it ? Should I not? Will this create a dependent child? Will she now expect me to be around all the time? Anybody got advice?
2 people like this
3 responses
@mac1946 (1602)
• Calgary, Alberta
6 Jun 08
First off,what does she wear to school now? Being autistic is a drawback for sure,but the main thing is to find the insentive needed to get her to change her mind about what she can get away with,Having you there all the time will teach her she does not have to be responsible for the potty time,you will look after that for her. As you said,she is great at home,there may be a reason for her not wanting to go into the school washroom,it may be there is to much noise,or she wants to be alone while on the potty,there could be other reasons she may not be able to exspess to you but means a great deal to her. One thing you might try,is not to make her go,but help her want to,try sending her to school in a dress with her regular panties with plastic pants over them,this way,it will help contain the accidentsand will make it easier for her to use the toilet,ask the teachers to help in this by making sure she keeps the panties on exept when using the facilities. I hope something here appeals to you enough to use it. please let us know what you try and how it goes andd her reactions. Many Blessings.
@ch88ss (2270)
• United States
6 Jun 08
Good idea about the dress. I got to look into that. Though she wears the same pants at home can go without any problem. I might consider the dress, but they have school uniforms too. We also tried the pull up pantys/diapers too. She did her business in there and also pooped. And no one at school bother to notice that or change her. So she was in school at 8am until 5:30 in dirty diapers. She had huge rash on her bottoms for a week. I was in tears when I came home that day to find that out. The school nurse suggested that. So I went to school and told her that I refused to send her to school with training pants. But what are plastic pantys? Where do I get them? Are they like diapers?
@ch88ss (2270)
• United States
6 Jun 08
I think you are right about my presence in school. Because now she can have another reason to depend on me. But if I am not there and the teachers cannot force her becuase they simply don't have the time to talk to her for five minutes etc. So they just excused her and let her go on with her activities until she pees on the classroom floors or something. Any other suggestion? Thanks for your suggestion, it makes sense that I should not be present at school to teach her potty training.
@mac1946 (1602)
• Calgary, Alberta
6 Jun 08
Hi ch,first off,thank you for the best responce. Now,the pull-ups are the main problem,they just give her permission to use them as she always has. If the school uniform is with skirts for the girls,this is ok,as well as the dresses. the plastic panties I normally find at Wal-Mart,sears,or mostely on E-Bay. I normaly find that with thicker cotton training pants and plastic panties,( not the all-in-one style)they figure out quit fast,that this does not feel all that great and will change habits pretty quick. I do understand how the teachers do not have much time for this,but you would think they would be able to tell when something smells and be able to at least change her. If you have much trouble finding the plastic panties,let me know,I have a fair amount,and could make some arrangment with you. Many Blessings.
@wrangel15 (1443)
• Philippines
7 Jun 08
Your daughter can do it at home but cannot at school. There may be a small problem. Try talking with your daughter or try to figure out what causes it. Just don't scold her when she wet her pants at school. Just encourage her on how she can go to the restroom herself at school. There's a somewhat similar situation to that. There was a boy who sleep together with his grandmother and he always wet his bed. His parents thought of something that can really solve the problem. One day, they decided to buy him a new bed. It was the boy and her mother who went to buy. The mother bought the bed as if the boy bought. She asked the saleslady (with a wink from an eye) that the boy wants to buy a bed. The mother gave the saleslady a sign which one to be bought. The saleslady convinced the boy to buy that bed. They went home with the boy proud for the bed he bought. When his father came he asked the boy (without telling something bad at him), "You're not going to get it wet right?" It challenged the kid and the problem was solved since then. You can also try it on your daughter by buying with her a dress she really wants and give her a challenge of not getting it wet. Give her rewards if she can avoid getting her dress wet.
@ch88ss (2270)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Hi Wrangel This sounds like a good idea too. but what happens when she runs out of dresses to wear. they also have school uniforms requirements. (but wait I may be able to have it exempt too from the IEP) I have to work on the dress thing. You maybe right, just play along and let them think they bought it and they got to keep it clean right? Thank you for this wonderful suggestion. I will take her shopping tomorrow and buy some. (of course, maybe Walmart where I can still afford them) Dressses can be expensive.
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
5 Jun 08
I think you should have a meeting with her teacher and come up with the best plan. There may be a better way to accomplish your goal without being physically present and possibly causing a problem later down the road (maybe make a recording of you reminding her to go to the restroom). I am sure the teacher will help put a plan into action to address any problems.
@ch88ss (2270)
• United States
5 Jun 08
Hi, thanks for the suggestion. I had many meetings with the teachers, school nurse, school counselor and psychologist too. Even the principal. But your suggestion about the recording sounds great. I think i will give it a try this time and see what happens. tks,