big age difference between siblings,

United States
June 5, 2008 11:37pm CST
I am 37 years old and have a 9 year old son. We want to have another baby but am not sure..... what with the age difference that will be there between the two siblings? I should also add that my son would be very happy to having a brother/sister. I am in a dilemma as to should we, or should'nt we go for another baby, also considering my age. I would appreciate your valuable comments, especially if someone has gone through the same kind of situation. Thanks in advance.
4 people like this
14 responses
@kerriannc (4282)
• Jamaica
6 Jun 08
Having another child with a 9 years difference is very wonderful. You will be able to explain to him more better and I know that your son will help you when you will need assistance. I would advance you to sit down and ask your son if he would welcome a sister or a brother. Listen to his views and then you and your husband can decide on it. Do the planning as a family. Age is not a problem because there are modern technology now. So do not be afraid.
2 people like this
@DudaYLen (219)
• Philippines
6 Jun 08
In some cases, spacing father apart maybe harder for parents to get back in baby mode again and Siblings who have been the functional only child may have a harder time adjusting to the new baby . I say go for another one. Don't worry about the age gap. The important thing is to try and spend quality time with your children individually. Avoid the temptation to do the same things with both just because it is easier for you. Find out what they like and what they are interested in doing and try to cater to their individual personalities and build on their individual strenghts.And of course, don't forget to do things together as a family and when doing this Dee, you should find and try activities that can be enjoyed. Forcing the youngest to struggle to keep up with older will simply exacerbate his frustration and breed resentment against his older brother.
1 person likes this
@schummi (925)
• India
6 Jun 08
I dont think that should create a problem but its an advantage like you have one grown up kid...and the infant can be given more time...trust me...its the perfect time to have a kid for .u.....LOL
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jun 08
I wouldn't worry about the age difference, my son is 9 and we have an 8 mo old. He's wonderful with his little brother. I would sit down and discuss it as a family first. We didn't get that chance. Little britches was a wonderful suprise...lol.
1 person likes this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
6 Jun 08
I am in the same situation as you. My youngest is 9 (10 in August) and we want another baby. Our children are always asking us when we'll have another one but I am 35 and have to have a tubal reversal first so I am hesitant. The cost is outrageous. As far as age is concerned, if you are healthy, I wouldn't worry about it. Women can safely have babies in their forties now. Just get a good ob/gyn. Good luck to you!
1 person likes this
@mac1946 (1602)
• Calgary, Alberta
7 Jun 08
I am the eldest of three,my one sister is 2 years younger and my second sister is 10 years younger,and while there is quite a differance is our likes and dislikes as far as music and other things because of the age,we are very much a close family,we are in differant areas of the country now,so it is not always easy to get together,but when possible,we do and really enjoy it. Please don't hold back,it makes a great differance in a persons life to have that extra someone when the parents are no longer around. Many Blessings.
• United States
8 Jun 08
Thank you very much for all the helpful comments and views, they have been very helpful....I guess it has made it just that much easier for me to reach a decision. So thanks once again all.
@coffeeshot (3786)
• Australia
8 Jun 08
I think if you would like another addition to your family go for it! 37 is not too old and 9 years old is not too much of an age gap. I was an only child until I was 11 years old. I am now 25 and I have a 14 year old brother, an 11 year old brother and a 9 year old sister. I love them all dearly and I don't feel too much of an age gap as I was still a child myself when my brother was born. Now I'm beginning to feel a bond with the eldest of my brothers and I wouldn't change a thing. I think your son would be so thrilled to have a baby brother or sister and it will be a great experience for him. Go for it I say! Good luck.
• United States
7 Jun 08
A lot of people wait a long time to have children and after having one child, you are never really so sure that you want another. You should talk to you child to see how he feels about this.
@ZephyrSun (7387)
• United States
7 Jun 08
I have 3 boys and my oldest is 12 and my youngest is 4. The oldest and youngest are best buddies and have a lot in common. My grandma had 20 years between her oldest and youngest and only had five kids. I have an uncle that is 64 and the youngest of the family is 44. I don't think 20 years would be for me but to each their own and if you are healthy enough go for it. Good Luck!!
@spalladino (17927)
• United States
6 Jun 08
I had my youngest when I was 35 and there was an 8 year difference between her and her nearest sibling. I also had an 11 year old and a 13 year old. The older kids were great with their little sister from babyhood all through childhood and, now that she's 17, they're her older and wiser advisors. If you and your husband want to have another baby my advice to you would be to go for it. Your son is at an age where he can be involved in the experience, being there to hear the heartbeat for the first time, seeing the sonogram, helping to pick out possible names, seeing a brand new life on his/her first day. Since your son already has positive feelings about having a little sister or brother I'd be willing to bet that he'd make a great big brother!
@taface412 (3177)
• United States
6 Jun 08
I have never had children, but my oldest brother is 13 years older than me. And when I was little he was my idol. Everywhere he went I went....he always looked out for me, etc. I have another brother who is 6 years older than me....and to be honest our relationship was the same as with the eldest... And it remains the same today. We may not be as close as when we were younger, but always there for one another. I say go for it. Your son will be the new baby's protector and guide through all the tough spots in life. Especially when they get older, and as you get older. Siblings are very helpful in life no matter how painful they make childhood at times LOL good luck
• Philippines
6 Jun 08
Having a new baby seems not to be a problem. with their age gap your elder son would be more understanding and caring. As for you dont worry your still young I've seen over 40 years old women gave birth to a normal baby. cheer up! its even nice to see two of your children playing together than having a single child playing alone. Life would be more exciting with a new baby.
6 Jun 08
My boyfriends brother has a daughter who is 5 this year. She has a half brother (same mother) who is 13/14ish (I think) so if you think your age gap is big, it could be bigger. Also if your son is happy to have another child in the house then go for it!! i would get all the family members together and have a big chat about it. Discuss all the pros and cons, it should be a family decisions! Hope this helps!!
@kenzie45230 (3563)
• United States
6 Jun 08
When my baby sister was born, I was 13. My brother was 9 and my other sister was 7. Having that baby sister was the greatest thing that happened - for all of us. (My mom was 36, by the way, and that was back when women didn't have babies when they were "that old.") I'm sure your son will end being a great big brother if you do have another baby.