My hubby

@TerryZ (22083)
United States
June 6, 2008 12:50pm CST
All my friends know Ive sick and cant do things around the house. And my hubby has been doing it. I think he is getting sick of it. He didnt say he was but when I asked him this morning to please vacuum for me he just me a looked and said I will. But he didnt heve to be in till 1:00 this afternoon. Or I would have never asked him. Maybe I should just try and do it myself. Any advise?
5 people like this
17 responses
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
7 Jun 08
No Sweet do not do it yourself he will just have to do it when it is needed to be done I am sure you might just have caught him at a bad moment or something I hope though that he realises you are not able to do it yourself yet Love you xxx
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Ya your right I think he has been doing alot and didnt mean it. He did vacuum for me. He better!LOL Love you
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
8 Jun 08
He will be fine it is just like us when we get a bit fed up but we don't mean to hurt we are just fed up Thanks Sweetie for BR Hugs xxxxx
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
6 Jun 08
Don't think you should push yourself by vacuuming. Aren't you still in a neckbrace or collar? Maybe it can wait another day when your husband is home for the day. Please take care of yourself. Have a good weekend, carolbee
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Yes Im still in neckbrace and he did do it for me. Im just getting tired of depending on people. I cant even drive.
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
7 Jun 08
I understand your frustration but you don't want to do anything that might hurt you. You've come this far with the healing process and don't need to mess it up. Think you live too far from me to come and pick you up and take you out for awhile. I'm in the midwest. Just take care of yourself. The carpet can wait another day!
@Gollywog (1092)
6 Jun 08
Im the same but I am divorced so my 20yr old son does every thing for me. Cooking, cleaning, loading the w/machine I never ask him to do anything I let him decide when it needs doing! He does every thing every day he is brilliant I couldnt do without him. No you cant have him. lol
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
6 Jun 08
Awwww thats wonderful! Your very lucky. Can I borrow him just for awhile.heheheheh
1 person likes this
@Gollywog (1092)
6 Jun 08
I could spare him for a couple of days? Just send me your address (kidding). He will make a brilliant husband for some lucky girl?
@chrislotz (8203)
• Canada
14 Jun 08
If it is possible at all, hire someone to come in once a week or every two weeks, to clean your house. I know it isn't that expensive since I clean houses for a living. For $50 you could probably get it cleaned and if they are any good, like me, it is worth the price, if you can afford to do it. Or just let it go another week, no big deal. So what if your house is a little dirty, not worth fighting with your hubby about it. I am sure he is good about it, but he will be getting tired of doing it too and it would be a nice break for him, if someone else does it.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
14 Jun 08
I dont care anymore we will be moving.LOL But thanks
• United States
9 Jun 08
You are suppose to rest right? Then rest. If hubby doesn't want to do the housework , then he should get someone else do it but it shouldn't be you. How the hell are you suppose to get well if you are doing all this housework?
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I know my friend Im not really doing any housework he is doing much better.LOL I guess I had to teach him.heheheheh
1 person likes this
@snel27 (48)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Men always think that no matter what the housework is the womans job, but i make my husband help me out all the time because i'm not his mamma and it's his house and his mess too. And he never really complains about doing it mainly because the only thing he does is dishes,taking the garbage out and some yard work but in your case with you being sick, your husband should want to do the house chores for you. You defaintly should not have to get up and do them yourself. Hope your feeling better soon! God Bless =D
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Thanks snel He does do things around the house for me. But when he is not working he tends to be lazy. I havent done anything around this house since surgery. I think he is just getting alittle sick of it. Oh well!
@mummymo (23707)
7 Jun 08
Yes sit right back down and stop worrying about it! If your hubby is fed up doing these things then I am sorry to say that that is just TOUGH! You know my situation and maybe if I had rested as much as I should have I wouldn't be in the situation I am now so think on that or your hubby may have to keep doing it all for much longer than he will if you do as you are supposed to and rest! I know sometimes the responsibility of it all gets on top of my other half and he will give a look or get a bit short tempered but I can't say it is too often and he is always quick to reassure me it isn't my fault! xxx
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Hi mummy I know I havent done anything except wash some dishes. They do get over it!LOL
@selby70 (283)
7 Jun 08
Dont do it and why is it we ask will they hoover for us as it is their carpet as well, men are like that sorry men, when I came out of hospital yes he was great getting this and that a day or so after it was a different story as he was fed up doing it, but I did not get out of bed as I would have made myself worse so as much as I like a clean house health is more important, take it easy and never mind the house work.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Hi selby your are so right. The only thing Ive done has been feeding my cats and doing the dishes sometimes.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
7 Jun 08
This is a hard one for me because I know that most people do not like to be told what to do. But at the same time, some things you have to tell men to do or they will never think to do it. I think that if you are not yet able to do it you should sit him down and talk to him about his feelings and maybe you guys can come up with some kind of compromise.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Hi Rozie the thing is he knows me very well and if he doesnt do it he knows I will do it. So he did it and has been doing everything else. I think that he is just getting alittle tired of it.LOL
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
7 Jun 08
HI terry, I think I can relate to both you and your hubby on this one. When my mom was still here, I took care of her a lot when she was unable to do things. She didn't understand how stressful that could be at times because of course I was worried about her...very stressful and me being who I am, wanted to give her the best care. I also had so many other obligations going on that were constantly on my mind. Sometimes when she'd ask me to do something, I would do just as your hubby did. It wasn't that I wouldn't or didn't want to but at that moment, it just felt like another thing on my list. Sometimes I just felt overwhelmed. Maybe I was just trying too hard. I never would say anything to her of course for I didn't want her to feel that she was a burden...she wasn't. She was my mother and of course I was going to help her. Had she ever suspected that she was a burden and got up to do vacumming or anything that she should not....oh, I would have been so angry and then also afraid to even leave her alone for a minute. Do NOT get up and vaccum!! I'm sure your hubby just has a lot on his plate but is taking care of you because he loves you. I'm very sure he'd be way more upset with you if he found you vaccumming than he would be at you asking him. Think about how you'd feel if he were unable to do anything and you had to do it all. You mite get a bit stressed but you would not want him doing something that he should not now would you? Stay in that bed and get better!
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Thankyou sid that was very helpful.Hugs!
@raina21 (130)
• India
7 Jun 08
I don't think its wrong for husbands to do the household chores.Of couse they can participate and help you out.But in this case its different.U're not well then obviously it becomes his duty to do the work.I don't think you need to feel guilty for this.Just let it be.You need to look after your health first,then after your house or anyone else.Ok
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
7 Jun 08
You make good sense raina!thanks
@howard96h (11658)
• New York, New York
7 Jun 08
I think you need more time to heal Terry. You don't want to aggravate your neck.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Thanks howard and will do. xxx
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Terry, No way! You can not do anything around the house. Don't ask your husband to do it "for you", he supposed to do it for himself. He might be tired, so just leave him along. I would pretend it didn't happen. Sooner or later he will do it. Take care of yourself, house is not going to look worst in day or two. Your health is more important now. HUGS
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Your so right polachicago and makes perfect sense. thankyou. Hugs
• United States
7 Jun 08
Sounds like my hubby. I ask him to do something and he waits until it appears that he has thought to do it himself without being asked. Kind of makes him feel like he is in control. Don't try to do it yourself, just let him do it at his own pace. Big huggers to you.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
7 Jun 08
LOL I didnt do it! Huggers back to you!
• United States
6 Jun 08
No don't you dare. Let the vacuuming go for a bit. He will get to it when he can, and a little dust on the carpet never hurt anyone.... Nor kitty hair.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
6 Jun 08
LOL He did it. but I was seriously thinking of doing it.LOL I wont thou. Your so right!thanks my friend. Im just so use to doing it all. Hugs.
@tessah (6621)
• United States
8 Jun 08
i think that if yer truly incapable of doing these things without further hurting yerself.. then relax and allow him to do the things needed until yer better. doing them yerself and slowing yer own recovery time is only going to make it so he has to take care of you longer.. and that isnt goig to help anyone so as frustrating as it is to have him be doing everything.. take the time you need to be better, then get back to yer regular schedule when yer back up to par
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
8 Jun 08
Absoulty!
@snowy22315 (52935)
• United States
7 Jun 08
Tell him that you will do HW just as soon as you are able. Tell him what a great guy he is being for helping you out. As soon as you are able get him a Thank you gift. It is hard to have a spouse that is sick. I know he shoudl be willing to help out, but it probably gets old.