How soon is too soon for a man to meet your kids?
By ljforte1024
@ljforte1024 (150)
Canada
June 10, 2008 6:37am CST
I've been dating a man for a few weeks and we hit if off so well he wants our kids to meet. I don't usually let a man meet my daughter for a while and most have never met her. My daughter is so friendly, she likes everyone and I don't like for to have to ask me where is such and such. But anyway, it seems as though this relationship is going somewhere fast and he's older and thinks it's a good idea. I think so too, I guess there's a small part of me that thinks it's too soon. What do you think??
1 person likes this
5 responses
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
11 Jun 08
First of all, I think it depends on the child's age. If she's younger than 8, then maybe try to just bring him over a for a casual visit like he's a friend from work or something. If she's older than that, then she's probably smart enough to know that even if you tell her he's "just a friend", she understands that you're dating.
As a whole, though, I think it would be wise to wait a few months. Even if you think it's going somewhere fast, there is an equal chance that it may be just a quick flame. The two tend to have similar feelings at this early in the relationship. It's my opinion that it's better to be safe than sorry. I would wait about 6-8 months.
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
11 Jun 08
I really don't think you should make such rash decisions when you have a child to think about, but it's your life. Good luck.
@ljforte1024 (150)
• Canada
11 Jun 08
My daughter's 12 and the way this relationship is going, we could be married in 6 to 8 months:)
@rsa101 (37952)
• Philippines
10 Jun 08
Well before you decide to let your daughter meet your man, please make sure that you really want this to happen with you and your daughter. For as log as there is doubt in yourself then you will never feel at ease to make this thing happen. So open up your mind and decide.
@ljforte1024 (150)
• Canada
11 Jun 08
Thanks for the comment. My daughter is 12 and his daughter is 13. We are taking them to the zoo on friday so that they can meet.
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
10 Jun 08
Since you didn't state how old your daughter is, I'll give you my opinion (everyone has one LOL) at two different age groups. If she is young, say under 12, then why not let her meet him, but go for pizza or something the first time, and introduce him as a good friend. If she is a teenager or older, then invite him over for dinner or something, talk to her before hand and explain that you have met this nice man and would like for her to meet him too. Somehow, from your discussion I get the impression that she is still younger than a teen, so if you meet for lunch or dinner, and introduce him as a good friend, then there won't be the awkward situation of her asking. Start letting him come over for a visit with the both of you from time to time, and see how it goes.
@madebyrobyn (616)
• Australia
10 Jun 08
I think if you just introduce your children to your man as an aquaintance once every two weeks there would be no problem. They need not see you being intimate (holding hands and such) but they all should meet as soon as possible. I think this meeting is important because you want both sides to know you with the other in your life, this will lessen the competing for your time.
It is ok for your children to know you have friends, male and female - view it just like this to start, don't complicate it.
@justadevil (65)
•
10 Jun 08
does your daughter want to meet him, have you asked her? how old is your daughter. If she isn't a very young child don't see why you shouldn't let them meet on the understanding that you and him are only friends at the moment. Just take it slowly
@ljforte1024 (150)
• Canada
11 Jun 08
My daughter is 12. She's very outspoken and she knows that I'm on the phone happy with someone and she knows his name.
