Would you cut ties from a loved one if they kept hurting your feelings?

United States
June 12, 2008 10:43pm CST
Have you ever had to let someone go for their own good? Have you ever cut ties with a loved one or family member or someone that you have known forever, because they couldn't stop being mean or hurtful to you? I had to do that years back and it was the hardest thing that I've ever done. My heart still weeps for the one that I let go. Sometimes best to cut ties with the past, and that includes distancing yourself from destructive, abusive or mean people. They will only drag you down and keep you from taking flight. I can't go into details, because I cry over the entire situation. But this person that I had to let go was like a child to me. He is much better off now that he is out from under my wing and taken flight of his own. And, I'm happy for him. I did what I could for him, but now he is gone. I will never forget him. He always lives in my heart. He just needed his independence and he found it when I let him go. Have you ever let someone go?
6 people like this
18 responses
@GardenGerty (92484)
• Marion, Kansas
13 Jun 08
I do not officially cut ties, but there have been people in my family that I have chosen to avoid, because of negative and hurtful responses to me. I do not have time or energy for those kinds of things.
• United States
13 Jun 08
We all must seek our own path! Thank you for sharing your experience.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
Definitely. A relationship is not worth keeping if one is hurting. Letting go is never easy but sometimes it is the best thing to do.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 08
You are so right! Better to move on than suffer!
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
I have experienced in letting someone go because I realized that I am not meant to suffer and be the receiving end of abuse. It was a very difficult decision and move since its someone that I love but I had to do it because no matter what the justification or reason, I should never tolerate abuse in any form. People do come into our life to help us learn some life's lessons in our journey to becoming. Though, they are meant not to stay, but they are never forgotten either.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 08
So well said! You have deep wisdom and I am happy that you shared it with us. Be well on life's journey.
1 person likes this
@laglen (19783)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I have and like you I know that it was the best thing for everybody involved. Life is full of tough choices, we can only do our best!
• United States
13 Jun 08
I cut the ties between my ex-boyfriend and I 3 years ago for he was mean cutting me down all the time. He would say that he was only kidding but would continuosly do it and I got sick of it and told him it was over. I flat out told him that if you love and care about someone you don't talk insulting mean ways towards them. We were together for 11 months and 5 out of that 11 months he was doing this. I felt like a big wall was between him and I and he would try to shower me w/ gifts to say he was sorry but would do it over and over again.
1 person likes this
@Zelmarq (11507)
• Cebu City, Philippines
13 Jun 08
My aunt has hurt my feelings and my mother's feelings, i dont resort to cutting ties for good but now I have decided to distance myself from her. She has arrived from the U.S and has not given me information about her arrival but I chose not to go to their house coz she has not invited me to do so. It was not really me who she hurt but she hurt my mother with her words, maybe she is hurt too but I was just upset with her words.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (55816)
• Delhi, India
13 Jun 08
I will not cut ties in such a case. I would rather prefer keeping a low profile, as far as mingling with him/her is concerned. I would not let him/her know in any case that I am not happy with his/her activities. This I will do in the hope that some day he/she may mend his/her ways and may get along well with me.
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
...i usually cut ties to some friends that i've known for yeaRS...but not in my own family or relatives...i just chose to avoid some for they hurt my feelings & they might ruin my respect to them. so avoidance is a good thing to do by now.
@ayrin03 (318)
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
hmmmm.. not so fasts my dear. You have to think of the circumtances. It;s not lika a toy that if you don't like it you just let it go or leave it like that. First thing to do is t talk to the involve person. If that's not work, give him a second chance. If nothings happens and it remains the same. Maybe it's time to let go and moved on.
1 person likes this
@angemac23 (2006)
• Canada
13 Jun 08
Yes, if a loved one was being mean to me and hurting me, I would cut ties....
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 08
I had to break up with a boyfriend of almost two years because he hurt my feelings. Every time that I tried to talk to him he would just make fun of me and he would insult me in front of our friends. I let it slide for the longest time and then one day he said some hurtful things and made me cry while we were out to dinner. When I talked to my friens the next day she asked me why I put up with it and I could not think of a reason why. It was hard to leave him because I had invested so much time into the relationship and for all the lows there were also great highs. He has tried to meet with me but I have decided to cut him out completely. My friend helped me to realize that people who put you down only make your life more complicated. Life is short and it should be enjoyed to the fullest.
@rama108 (126)
• India
13 Jun 08
Yes it happened in my life too. I had to be harsh with my brother. But when we know the medicine is a must we have to take it even if it is bitter. Now he is ok. Time makes us forget everything. So even though it was hard at that time, now we both forgot the past. We managed every thing now we are together again (different families though).
1 person likes this
@bea_29 (321)
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
Yes i did. my ex boyfriend got married las saturday.. until the day of his wedding he's telling me that he still love me and so do i but we have partners already. as much as i want to cut ties so as not to be hurt i couldn't because his family is a good friend to my family. in fact his only brother is a good friend also and he consider me as his sister.
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7719)
• United States
14 Jun 08
I did exactly that with my biological dad. I haven't talked to him since I was 19 (I'm 32 now).
@ynigz1 (472)
• China
14 Jun 08
If a person kept hurting me, I will cut ties with he. Actually, if he really keep hurting you, that means he don't like you, and don't want to be with you. Why I have to stay with him? Those person who hurt you again and again, please stop being with them. We should value our life, we don't have time to waste with person, whom don't value you. So cut tie with those kind of person.
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Jun 08
not really letting go but teaching him to be independent..yeah i had once ..my brother whose still living with us(my husband and me)i let him go to school again and finish some vocational course so that he can stand on his own...and during the process we did had some squabbles...that in the end i throw him out the house...since then he was been living independently and been married now and doing fine..and we still keep in touch..and forget all in the past..
@nixxi76 (3192)
• Canada
13 Jun 08
I actually have a switch in my mind where I can control my emotions with. I can go from loving someone to liking to hating. I think I inherited this from my mom as she is strong that way too. My hubby often asks me how can I just love one minute then hate the next? Well I simply just say I've always been able to do that and it's not something I do on purpose anymore, it's something that is automatic from doing it for so long. To answer your question about letting someone go in your life. Well I've done that many times. I have friends that come and go but these two friend or I should say exfriends who I thought I could trust just because I knew them for over 20 years. Well who was I kidding??? Both of them always landed me as the middle man in their fights and I was stupid enough to pick sides thinking I was choosing the right way but ended up being the bad guy while they became friends after a wicked fight they had. I ended up saying Good-Bye to both of them after years and years of friendship have a great day
@iLeesh (2)
• United States
13 Jun 08
i would'nt cut ties from my family. but if they kept hurting me i would keep my self a safe distance away from them. just to make sure that i dont get hurt by them anymore, and if we ever happen to cross path's again i would probably make small talk just to see how they are doing and get on with my life. nobody should ever hurt you and im guessing if you continue to let that person hurt you then its partially your fault for not doing something. but if you let them go and it makes you this sad... your still hurting yourself.