Someone recently said

United States
June 13, 2008 9:43am CST
Someone recently told me that you can't be in a relationship if your not happy with yourself and it really hit home to me. Do you feel this statemenet is true? Are you happy in your life and with yourself?
2 people like this
7 responses
@coolmailraj (2461)
• India
13 Jun 08
It is a kind of vicious circle, you fall for it because you don't want to be in it. I mean, I probably won't be happy living without the person I want to live with and if I am not happy then I can't be with her. It goes either way, what matters is how you take it.
1 person likes this
@jashley1 (746)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I believe that statement - you can't be in a healthy relationship until you love yourself. You really need to be happy with yourself and know yourself before you can be in a good relationship. Otherwise you may end up just giving and giving and not getting what you need and deserve because you don't feel you "deserve" it or that you are a really good person. You also can't be in a healthy relationship with "baggage" from old relationships because it's not fair on the new person. That person will have to pay for ex's mistakes because you haven't been fully delivered and healed from those experiences.
@underdogtoo (9599)
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
That is absolutely true. Someone also said that people have holes in their hearts and they find and pursue people in order to fill that hole. What seems to be attraction and passion quickly turns into a negative thing because jealousy, insecurity and possessiveness is part of that hole. If you're unhappy with your life, fix that first before attaching yourself to another person as a significant other.
• United States
13 Jun 08
No, I'm not happy with the state I'm in. And I can see why nobody would want to be in a relationship with me. I wouldn't even be in a relationship with me. I don't know what to do with myself sometimes and my dark thoughts get to me so much. I have a feeling it will take years until I've reached some higher plateau.
@gamgee (116)
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
Whoever is happy will make others happy, too. -Mark Twain This quote from Mark Twain, I think, will answer why you cannot be in a relationship, although not all of us could agree on the finality of this. It is very easy to spread happiness if you have much happiness to give. Being true to yourself can help you achieve that elusive satisfaction and contentment that we are all searching for. Yes, I am happy in life right now, and I'm in a great relationship, though we lack in material riches, we compensate it with laughter and jokes. We do eat laughter for breakfast and jokes for supper. LOLOLOL!
• United States
13 Jun 08
I feel that in order for a relationship to last and for a person to be able to give their all they must me happy with their self as a whole being. I believe a person goes through many trials and faces many obstacles in their life, but a person in responsible for their own happiness. Other people can make life better, but we cannot rely on that person to make us happy. We have to do that for ourself.
@Winter08 (441)
• Canada
13 Jun 08
If you can't love yourself, how can you love someone else." Author unknown as far as I can find out. For me, this statement is more true than "you can't be in a relationship if you're not happy with yourself". If we are not happy with ourselves, we should be very cautious in entering into relationships (of any kind). But I think we need the interaction of relationships with others to help us in understanding ourselves and, through our understanding, finding our pathes to happiness (or at least peace). The caution is to stop expecting others "to make us happy". No one can make us happy. The happy has to come from inside ourselves.