father's day without my dad

Philippines
June 14, 2008 10:10pm CST
I just would like to share my thoughts on Father's Day and I hope that everyone learn something from this. I'm celebrating FATHER'S DAY, yet I don't have a dad anymore. My mom and dad separated when I was 8 years old. That was more than two decades ago. The last phone conversation I had with him was more than 14 years ago. I haven't heard from him since. I don't even know if he's still alive. So I grew up without my biological father. But have I been fatherless in those years that my "real" father was absent? My mom has six living brothers. We used to live with them since my parents separated. My mom lived in my grandparents' house where my uncles also lived. In these uncles, I've had different kinds of fathers. One took care of me, made sure that I ate my meals, brushed my teeth and slept early. Later, when he became a nurse and went to the U.S., he supported me and my siblings. He financed my college education. One made sure that I did all my homework; he'd check my notebooks to see if my notes were complete. Another one went to Japan, and would send me Japanese-made gizmos and gadgets. One of them was my counselor; I ran to him for advice and relied on his wisdom and guidance as I was growing up. There was an uncle who used to abuse me. I'm sad because his life took a bad turn, and I wish that he didn't have to go through all the difficulties that he's going through right now, but I now consider him as my negative role model. I have learned from his mistakes and I'm doing my best to avoid them. I also had a priest friend who guided me as I was going through my growing pains. I ran to him for comfort when I thought nobody else would understand me. We're still friends, but we seldom see each other nowadays. But I fondly remember him as my surrogate father when I badly needed a dad. Of course, I had a wonderful grandpa in my Lolo Charlie who would have conversations with me after supper. I learned half of what I know about life from him. As I've said, I don't have a dad anymore, but I'm not fatherless. God gave me fathers who took care of me, and who taught me a lot of things in many different ways. I celebrate Father's Day by saluting the men in my life who have, in one way or another, been a father to me. As to my real father and my abusive uncle, I give them the gift of forgiveness for their sakes and mine. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! What does Father's Day mean to you?
1 person likes this
3 responses
• United States
16 Jun 08
Its good that you can forgive! My dad and I have a weird relationship we hardly talk. It has to do with a step mom who looks at me as competition. He is happy with her and that is what I want for my parents to be happy. I am blessed to have the time I do with him which isn't much and I forgive him and my step mom for the hurt I have had over the years. I have moved on and cherish te memories I do have from when we were close.
• China
15 Jun 08
i should admit that your story attracts me very much. compared to you, i have been living with parents up to now. it's really difficult to say whether you are lucky. you father left you but you have "real" fathers. parents are the greatest people for me and i respect them very much. Father's Day is a time that i will recall what my father has done for me and then really appreciate him. i will also make a call to him to show my appreciation. i have a cousin who has only father now and thus can understand you very much. best wishes for you !
• China
15 Jun 08
i should admit that your story attracts me very much. compared to you, i have been living with parents up to now. it's really difficult to say whether you are lucky. you father left you but you have "real" fathers. parents are the greatest people for me and i respect them very much. Father's Day is a time that i will recall what my father has done for me and then really appreciate him. i will also make a call to him to show my appreciation. i have a cousin who has only father now and thus can understand you very much. best wishes for you !