Have You Ever Accepted A Friend On Mylot,

@Rozie37 (15503)
Turkmenistan
June 15, 2008 12:24am CST
Just for the purpose of sending them a message. I did this today. I had someone request my friendship at least twice. The first time, I simply checked their interest and then denied them. This time, I accepted their friendship only long enough to send them an explanation for why we could not be friends. My relationship with God is the most important thing in the world to me and this person has the opposite in common with me. Have you ever done this when someone request your friendship a second time?
9 people like this
39 responses
@bond0077 (375)
21 Jun 08
Well i think you are not exactly following God's word or truly understanding it!First off i am not a very religious person but even i know that basically the word of God as in the new testament or that of Christianity or the words of Jesus,states that we as humans should follow his example and live our lives as such! which is God ACCEPTS ALL HUMAN BEINGS with or without prejudice so my question is why are you being so opposite of what GOD wants you to be?accepting of other people even if they,(you feel)hold no benefit to you therefore you deny then reject their interest in getting to know you?do you know how much it takes a person to get up enough courage to send such a request?have you yourself ever been rejected by somebody?you should try it sometime,it takes a lot away from you,and you could end up punishing the next nice person who approach you!do you know that?I am not saying to be open and give them your home address or home number not at all but atleast say thank you for your request have a nice day and move on!myself for example what i put on my profile is about 1/20th of what i have experienced so you can't know if we have anything in common until we talk,(i never made a request by the way to you i am just say)this is reason it is so hard to play GOD because we as humans have very very little space in our hearts and mind for acceptances of anybody other than our little circle of friends and we as humans are the most selfish or as selfish as most animals,we r no better but we think we r!think about how what you are doing or going to do,and how it will affect others around you,the butterfly effect its called,then make your decisions.good luck and thank you for your question,i hope others learn from it!by the way the bloggers on here are not your friends, just strangers, not even acquaintances, so i don't why my lot calls it a friend request,maybe it should be a connection request or something!
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
22 Jun 08
I gave your comment a plus because I respect and fully understand where you are coming from. It appears that you are new to Mylot, while I have put in two years already. I came on here thinking that if I just talked things over and made sense to people, I could affect them in a positive way. I would go back and forth with people all the time. At the end of the day, I was exhausted and they were completely unaffected. So now when I post about God, I say what I have to say and then I reply pleasantly to the naysayers and go on with my life. Recently, a guy on my friends list whom I suppose I assumed was a Christian, commented by calling me stupid for my beliefs. I responded by deleting him. The person whom I contacted had requested my friendship a second time and I checked out her profile once again so that I would remember why I did not accept them the last time. And there it was in the interest section, wicca and paganism. Not only do I not want to recieve discussions in my e-mail about such things, I do not want this person attacking my beliefs on any level. Nice is cute, but I am very serious about my relationship with God and I do not want to play the debating game it anyone anymore. Nobody wins that game.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
23 Jun 08
I am not a church goer either. But I love the Lord with all my heart and want nothing more than to do his will. The fact that she requested my friendship twice and I denied it twice is not a personal thing at all. I love everyone on this earth and I do not judge people like that. Only God knows what is truly in this person's heart-what their motives really are. I did not feel led in my spirit to accept her friendship. But I did feel led to tell her why. I have never done or even thought of doing anything like that before. If I did the wrong thing, I know that I can trust God to make it right.
@bond0077 (375)
23 Jun 08
Still waiting for GOD to do it for you huh?still not getting the part about just living your beliefs!setting an example etc etc....you are are right about trying to get through to people on they just never listen!
@Darkwing (21588)
16 Jun 08
You mean you refused a request for friendship on the basis of their beliefs being different to yours, i.e. non-Christian? I find it rather harsh that you should hurt somebody... indeed inform them that because they don't comply with your religious beliefs, you refuse to accept them as a friend. I doubt they'll worry about it, because they probably feel too offended to afford you any sort of answer. There are a lot of different beliefs out there, my friend, and none of us is wrong in what we believe, to my mind, and I certainly wouldn't hurt somebody's feelings like that, for the sake of denying them a place on my friends list. Sorry to disagree, but it's my firm belief that we should accept people for who they are and not what they believe in from a religious or cultural point of view. Brightest Blessings, in love and in light.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Jun 08
I do not know whether or not you understood my post completely. But I did not deny the friendship because they did not share the same belief. I denied it because they have the exact opposite belief. I thought I also made it clear that I have had people on my friends list who have attacked me and even called me stupid for believing as I do. If that is your idea of a friend, more power to you.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
22 Jun 08
Yes, more power to me that I can respect people for what they are inside and not for what they believe. Sorry... but there was no misunderstanding at all. Having the opposite belief to you is certainly not having the same beliefs. I'm pagan, and I certainly won't darken your path again... not because you don't believe in the same as me, but because you're so single minded and unwilling to even bend. Thank you for acknowledging my previous response. I hope you do well in Mylot. Brightest Blessings, in love and in light.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
24 Jun 08
You are absolutely right about one thing, I will not bend. I do not like to compromise when it comes to my relationship with God.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
21 Jun 08
I never have explained why I didn't accept them. I have started checking how I am accepting though. Espically here lately. I have one person that I accepted as a friend who responded back to my discussion very rude and mean. She had copied the title of it and then said so what's your point. I got rid of that person after I told them where you did n't even read this conversation. Or they would have repsonded differernt. I understand know why you didn't accept this person and I apologize for reaponding to the other person before I knew what it was all about.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
22 Jun 08
I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings. This is why I sent her an explanation after the second time she requested my friendship. I did not intend to hurt her, but it seems that is exactly what I did. I just do not understand why she requested my friendship twice. Maybe she thought that I was someone different or forgot that she had done it before. I do not like a lot of confusion, it drains me.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
22 Jun 08
That is understandable. Besides if she doesn't belive in God like the post underneath this one it says she had pagans as a intrest. They are just as bad as worshiping the devil I don't blame you one bit.
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
23 Jun 08
I did not remember asking her twice. I asked her because I respected what she said in a discussion. I am not a devil worshipper. I find this just ridiculous. I'm really happy that I was rejected now because I read this person very wrongly.
@nicky35 (749)
22 Jun 08
i would accept anyone who asked me,it dosent hurt to be someones friend on a website so wheres the problem?
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
22 Jun 08
If people on your friends list attacked your core beliefs and called you stupid, I am sure you would not consider them a friend.
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
23 Jun 08
And what has that got to do with me?
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
23 Jun 08
Ms Tickle, Does it not say on your profile that you are interested in wicca and paganism. According to my Bible it says, light shall have no commucation with darkness. I can do my best to help you with whatever is going on with you, but you will not be considered a friend to me, period.
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
22 Jun 08
This has not happened to me Rozie. Mind you I can't tell you if they have requested me a second time or not LOL I don't pay attention really. I have denied so many lately because I have too many friends on my list. I just cleaned up recently and deleted the inactive ones and decided to turn of the mylot notifications - I haven't been online much so I'm getting too many emails LOL
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
22 Jun 08
I know how you feel. Most of the time now, I do not even bother to turn my computer on anymore. Most of the time, the mere thought of coming on Mylot drains me. I will have millions of things swirling around in my head to talk about, but I am just burnt out on this sight. Earlier today, around six o'clock, I read a comment then turn off my monitor and read a book. Maybe I need to take a really long break. I been thinking to just come on here on a whim, I not plan ahead and try to force myself to do it. Like I told you before, the lady from New Zealand (Jane) is looking into helping me find a job. I am very excited about that. Then when I come on Mylot, it will only be for one reason, to enjoy my friends.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
22 Jun 08
I know what you mean. I don't really feel like it either. I'm not motivated like I use to be - I wanted to come in and see how my buddy was doing and glad to hear you might have a job soon WOOOHOOOOOO :) I'm praying for you my friend!
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
22 Jun 08
Thank you very much.
• United States
19 Jun 08
I'm new to mylot.com but I have accepted all my friend requests. It's an online discussion community where people have the right to post whatever they feel and we have an obligation to respect that. My relationship with God is what has given me my beautiful daughter, loving husband, and amazing friends. I say that it shouldn't bother you and you should just see this as a good thing. A person like that would give off too many bad vibes and neither you nor I need that.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
22 Jun 08
All I was doing was attempting to avoid a potential problem.
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
23 Jun 08
For goodness sake..."a person like that"..a person like what??? I'm a nice person...do not judge me without knowing me. Are you cruel or just arrogant? Rozie, what potential problem? We responded to the same discussion, I liked your response...I did not realise I had done it twice but I must have appreciated you a second time....how does that make me a potential problem? I don't understand how you can go round implying that I'm a problem and likely to attack you as you were saying in my discussion. Why won't you listen to what the majority of people are saying here? It was unnecessary for you to contact me. It was unfair to deny me in fact without getting to know me first. But that's your perogative. You could have just said thanks for the offer but no thanks. But no...you had to put me in my place. You were uncivil.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
23 Jun 08
Ms. Tickle I did what I felt in my heart was right both times. You made yourself clear in your interest about how you want to be viewed. The Bible says to judge with righteous judgement. I am convinced that I made the right decission. If I felt it was a mistake, I would have no problem apologizing and accepting your friendship. What you fail to realize is that I made this a decussion because I wanted to, not because I felt I made a mistake. I do not want you as a friend and I have a right to decide that. It really doesn't matter what others say. I have no problem listening to others and agreeing with myself. Maybe you see it as arrogant or you are simply being aggressive. Either way, I have no intentions of changing my mind.
@alexsis (2149)
• United States
16 Jun 08
That has never happened to me. But I don't blame you for sending them a message and explaining why you don't want them as a friend. But I probably would have just denied and ignored them.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Jun 08
I am not use to the same person requesting me twice, unless they are up to no good. This is why I let this person know how I was feeling. I believe that I was very nice about it though.
@bond0077 (375)
21 Jun 08
just as a warning here i think too many people try to use the if i ignore or deny the problem,it just goes away! way of thinking,this can get you into a lot of trouble, sometimes, and then some!for example i have seen interviews on first 48 the cop show,where the cop asks a suspect why did you target this woman or girl?and he will say well one night in a bar, i asked her the time and she just ignored me or dissed me and that could have been two months ago but he still remembered her because that night she was the only one to ignore or dissed him!i had a clothing store girl rudely dissed me the other day,i was in the wrong place and she could have politely say sorry sir you are not allowed back here and i would have simple say sorry and leave the area but instead as soon as she saw me she barked "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED HERE GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE!" like when a cop tells a suspect to hit the pavement NOW!same tone! did i ever get in her face and got her in trouble with the supervisor for that!i said to the supervisor if i were a thug i would have punched her out!or worse, wait for her to she to leave her work!my point here is we as strangers have to watch what we say to another stranger,what if it was charles manson's first day out on parole?or somebody high on pcp? my point here be nice respectful even while rejecting someone and your life would be a lot safer!longer!
@dpk262006 (56115)
• Delhi, India
16 Jun 08
If I do not feel like accepting a request, I had no option but to accept it, but if it comes second time, I give it a close look and if not satisfied, I deny the same. Because I feel there is no fun in increasing the list, when I am not in a position to interact with that particular member through his/her discussions and vice versa.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Jun 08
very good.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56115)
• Delhi, India
22 Jun 08
Thanks!
• China
15 Jun 08
Hi,dear friend Rozie, Long time no see ,How are you these days? For me,if I have some friends request then I will do the same as you do ,first of all to check the interest they have and then decide whether can be friends or not..Sometimes it is really hard to accept someone who have the opposite religious beliefs.. My suggestion is that even though that kind of person added you for two times this means he or she really want to have a friendship with you.You can add him or her and after future days chattings then you can make your decision whether delete him or her .
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Jun 08
There was a guy on my friend's list for a long time, that I recently had to delete. I thought that we had the same beliefs, until he said that I was stupid for believing in Jesus.
@bond0077 (375)
23 Jun 08
i agree putting someone down for their befiefs is very immature and not worth the effort in keeping around!so that i can understand but i am refering to someone who thinks you are cool and want to talk to you out of respect don't judge them on their profile compatability only then delete them right?
@busyboy22 (292)
• India
22 Jun 08
yeah i have friends over here. every one should have many here because they help you in mylot or in any other thing u should definetly have few atleast. without having friends on mylot how could you manage to have discussions with him. anyway good post over here. keep posting and discussing have fun take care.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
22 Jun 08
If a person is working against me, I cannot consider them to be a friend.
@Polly1 (12649)
• United States
16 Jun 08
No I never have done that. I have deleted someone before because of things I have read that they have said. We are all entitled to our beliefs. Rozie I still haven't heard from mylot yet about the message I sent them, I will let you know if I hear anything.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Jun 08
I was noticing the pink envelop at the top under my topic. I was wondering if I could e-mail my topics to my friends everytime I start a new one. I will see how well that works from the next topic I start.
• Mozambique
16 Jun 08
So far I have accepted about 3 friends as I am still new,but not looking for any as I have many here at home and other places on the net.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Jun 08
Alright that is cool.
@lingli_78 (12846)
• Australia
16 Jun 08
i never done that actually... so far, i accepted all the people who requested my friendship here... i just want to make friends with everybody and i just hope that there will be no bad people here who will abuse my friendship... yes, my relationship with God is the most important one to me too... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Jun 08
I have had non-believers on my friends list who have not only attacked me for believing as I do, but at least one went so far as to call me stupid for my beliefs. That is not my idea of a friend.
@besslee (24)
• China
16 Jun 08
Hi, I haven't met this situation.But What you've done is OK and good for you, since you were polite.We cannot make friends with everyone, right? So just be yourself and do what you think is right.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
22 Jun 08
Thank you for your support.
@twallace (2675)
• United States
16 Jun 08
You brought something to mind that I didn't think about. Who i was accepting friends from. So far they have been discussions that i have commented too. But after reading this i have to wonder is it safe to except friendship from everyone here. I don't think i have clashed in views with anyone so far. But i will make sure and check their profile from now on and find out a little about them. Thanks for the extra thought.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Jun 08
You are quite welcome.
• United States
16 Jun 08
I had not thought of that before. I do value my friends but friends on MyLot are a little different. They're more like friends and connections. Some people you get to know well. Others you will simply talk with, like people you would meet at the store or on the job. It's a different world and a variety of people reside here. I would not accept a friend request from someone who was derogatory against my own beliefs. So, I see how you feel. Best wishes. Be well!
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Jun 08
Thank you for your support.
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
16 Jun 08
Oh I just accept anyone who would like to befriend me in here. They are there either to spam me or just wants to befriend me. I guess your relationship in here may not be the same as the friendship you have in real life. I guess there is nothing more important than be who you are and opening up to anything is possible even friendship in here is possible too so why close doors just open and you'll learn from them in some ways or the other. I think God does wants us to reach to as many people as possible. There's no harm in accepting friends in here.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Jun 08
I am sorry that I did not elaborate more in my post. I have excepted people of different beliefs and some of them have attacked me, even calling me stupid for believing as I do.
@Adelida2233 (1008)
• United States
16 Jun 08
I have a fair amount of friends on here, just because I choose to not deny anyone. I feel that you can learn from someone, regardless of their race, nationality, or even religion. Just because we may have nothing in common in those 3 areas does not mean that they don't have something to share on other topics of interest to me, like saving money, travel, etc.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Jun 08
Like I said in my original post, I have been attacked by friends and it is not something I am willing to tolerate from anyone. So why accept friends that do not have the most important thing to me, in common? But are in fact, totally oppossite.
• United States
15 Jun 08
Generally, I just keep denying them hoping they would get the hint. I know that there are other people who have sent friends requests because they want to send the other person a private message, but I haven't approved anyone for that reason. But, if I did accept someone and they kept spamming me, I would take them off my list right away. For me, unless they really start some vile discussions, I will accept everyone who has a history on this site. Later, though, if I find that they are not compatible, I may delete them.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Jun 08
Alright, that's cool.
@kenzie45230 (3561)
• United States
15 Jun 08
I have not been here long enough to get many friend requests. I did learn early on, however (from reading the posts of others) that folks here approach friend requests differently than at other sites where I'm a member. Here, people ranted and raved that they would not consider having a friend with less than 500 posts. I feel quite differently about that. Here, and at other sites, I love befriending newbies. :-) But I understand why you did what you did. In fact, I suggested that very thing to someone who complained that the same person sent friend requests over and over and over - up to 6 times. Accepting so that you can send a message makes sense. I have never denied the request of someone who doesn't believe like I do, though. I've always considered that if a non-believer reads some of what I've written (and they're more likely to do that with a friend connection), they might start asking questions about matters of faith. (That doesn't mean that I would read anything I didn't think I should, just because I made that friend connection.)
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Jun 08
I understand what you have said and maybe I made the wrong decission. Only time will tell I guess. Not only did accepting the friend concern me, but the people on this persons friend's list are ones that I have constantly attempted to avoid on this site also.