What would you give as a wedding gift : money or presents?

Malaysia
June 17, 2008 1:38am CST
I will be attending a friend's brother wedding in few weeks and I don't know the brother and the bride well. I am not sure of what to get for them as the wedding presents. Other friends are suggesting getting china wares, electrical products and all sorts and I am not so keen on those ideas as I am very sure they already have them. Why would they want the same old things!!!! I just don't want to give the presents just for the sake of it and then it is left aside, not appreciated. I have received gifts that I didn't like before and that was what I did - kept aside and soon forgotten. Perhaps I should ask my friend to find out what he likes to have ( within my budget of course....lol ) or just give cash money!!! How much to give! That will be another matter to ponder. What would you do? Would you get a present or give money and let them spend on what they like? Or ask them first what they like and then get the present?
11 people like this
42 responses
@msedge (4012)
• United States
16 Jul 08
I would be prefer giving a gift.Its fine if they have it already but yours has value because its a gift during their wedding.And besides they might not use it now but they would set it aside for future use.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
19 Jul 08
Hie, msedge, that's a wonderful thought. My friend and I got them a crystal glassware of cookie/candy jar, pineapple shaped like Cheers and thank you for sharing.
@msedge (4012)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Thats a nice gift!
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
Usually we give pillows. Believe it or not, it is so appreciated. In our own wedding, people gave us bedsheets, comforters, pillow cases but no new pillows. We've been giving those ever since. Also, if we do not have time to get pillows, we give out spa certificates or spa certificates. It's really popular here in the Philippines and is very much appreciated by the bride and groom. Maybe you have something like that there too. If you really wanna play safe, I suggest you go ahead and ask them what they really need. If they bluntly answer cash, ask around how much people in your place/ family give. Of course if you are one of the sponsors, you have to give something much higher.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
19 Jul 08
Hie Jammyt, that's an interesting ideaI could imagine their names engraved on those pillows. Spa certificates would be such a good gift as they will be totally exhausted after the ceremony for sure usually and would definitely need some relaxation Cheers and thank you for sharing. Have a good weekend
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
Wow! This was posted four weeks ago and I am not so sure yet if the wedding is done. In any case, I would suggest to check what they will be needing. If they already have a fully furnished house, I think giving them something that they have will be nice but the utilization of that will be less and it will end up being stocked. If they are starters, appliances and utensils would be great! If they already have most of the things that you can think of, and have no idea of a perfect gift, I would say money is the most flexible.
• Malaysia
19 Jul 08
Hie TheManager, thank you for dropping by, the wedding was held a week ago. Yes, they already have everything as they will be staying with the bridegroom's parent's place temporarily. And my friend and I got them a crystal cookie/candy jar in a pineapple shaped like, something we thought that they will use in future. I still think money is the best gift especially for me Cheers and have a good weekend.
@newtondak (3950)
• United States
17 Jun 08
Check with someone in the immediate family to see if they have registered at any stores. Many couples will register at a variety of different stores, including Walmart, so that those who wish to purchase gifts can choose from items they have chosen as things they would like to have. When someone purchase something from the registry, it is marked that it has already been purchased so they don't get duplicate gifts. You can also give a gift card in the amount of your choice, allowing the couple to pick something they want. I refrain from giving cash, as it is too easily lost in the shuffle of opening gifts.
• Malaysia
20 Jun 08
Hie newtondak, that is a good idea, I just need to ask my friend and see what they like actually. A gift card is pretty neat too. Thank you for the ideas and cheers,
@lazeebee (5468)
• Malaysia
17 Jun 08
If we are very close to the bride or groom, we would ask them what gifts they want. Else we would just give them money - it is more practical, and you don't have to think hard about what to buy, where to buy or whether someone else would give the same thing...
• Malaysia
20 Jun 08
Hie Lazee, yes, you are right. I will have to find out more and worse to worse just the gift of money Cheers and thank you for sharing.
17 Jun 08
If they live together it s really kinda hard to figure out what to buy as they have a lot of things so then money comes in pretty useful,but if they dont have a home set upo then its better tp pick something,and im not in to those weddin lists either ,to me thsat seems pretty rude and ungrateful.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
20 Jun 08
Hie Peterpiper, I guess the best thing I should do is to ask my friend and then decide what to get next Cheers and thank you for sharing!
• United States
17 Jun 08
Does their wedding have a gift list? Often times, couples will write a list at an nearby store that lists appliances/gifts they would like. You should definitely ask your friend about specifics, if there is a list available or what sort of things his brother might like. People often buy wares because the married couple might be moving into a new home, and these would get them set up. I feel cash is too impersonal and lacks a certain amount of tact. It should only be reserved if they request it, of if you truly truly have no way of identifying what they want. I would highly suggest talking to your friend; there's nothing embarrassing about it. Get something that you think no one else would get (to avoid duplicates and some being pushed aside) but would definitely correspond to the interest of the husband or wife.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
20 Jun 08
Hie Calyara, I agree with you and I have decided to ask my friend and get more details Thank you for your suggestions and cheers,
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
17 Jun 08
MOst of the time, i will give cash as it's more pratical.. AS like u say, we dunno the bride and groom well enough, thus, giving cash is better as they will have more use for it.. NO matter how much, it's the thought that counts ^_^
• Malaysia
17 Jun 08
yes, thought that counts as long it's red 'Ang Pow'..:)How much to give then, your standard over there?
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
17 Jun 08
NOrmally, the 'thoughts' here will cost around at least $50.. lol =D and that's the minimum.. haha
• Malaysia
19 Jun 08
Ohhh really...it is about the same here, RM100 or more..I think a 88 or 888 will be more meaningful.....lol Cheers,
1 person likes this
@hellcowboy (7383)
• United States
15 Jul 08
I know what you mean,I do not go to weddings very often because I do not like dressing up,and if I do go to a wedding,I have no idea what to give them as a gift, especially if it is someone I do not know really well,I think china and electronics are a good idea,and I think that usually a toaster is the appropriate and it seems to be a very popular gift lol,I think money is also a good idea,or what I would probably do and something you might should consider giving them a gift card to Wal Mart or some place that they shop,and then they could go pick out what they want.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jul 08
Yeah gift cards are awesome,and that is true you can go to a bank and get a Visa gift card that you could use anywhere,especially for gas or grocery shopping since gas and food is so expensive right now,and yeah I agree I would rather give a gift card so they can get what they want then a Mr. Coffee they might never use,have a great day, good luck in your life,and Happy Posting my friend.
• Malaysia
19 Jul 08
Hie guys, thank you for the suggestions and it is certainly a great idea - gift cards. A freedom of choice and personal preferences given. I would definitely go for this the next time. The wedding was held a week ago, my friend and I came upon a beautiful crystal glassware of cookie jar in pineapple shaped like, we grabbed it as it was on sale that day and that solved our weeks of wondering of wedding gifts Cheers and have a wonderful weekend.
@selece (2357)
• Philippines
19 Jul 08
Hello Desierra! Hmm... I've been through a lot of weddings before and usually we know the people who are getting married so we know what to give. If that's the case then definitely,we'll get them a present, something that would prove to be useful or something that they would really love. If we don't really know the ones getting married, I ask around regarding their preferences. I'm sure someone I know is related or knows that couple well. I don't enjoy giving money, unless there is no other choice. I think it's okay to ask what they want, but, indirectly, because they may be too shy or considerate. Hope you find the perfect present for them! Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
19 Jul 08
My friend and I managed to get a crystal glassware cookie jar which was on sale that dayand we thought it was the most suitable gift. I would prefer to give money, it would be so much easier and less headache Thanks for sharing.
@ruby222 (4848)
17 Jul 08
We have a wedding invitation sitting on theside in the kitchen which says that the happy cuple would like to have money rather than gifts..im a bit old fashioned there,and a list of gifts,or a request for a certain thing is not my way of doing things,but thats just me,and the modern world says that you generally ask your guests to give you what you want!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
19 Jul 08
Hie Ruby, I guess that is what will make them appreciate more and happierI wouldn't mind if they are someone I don't really know well. But as for close friends or relatives, I would get appropriate gifts for sure. Cheers and thank you for sharing.
@jmessina (23)
• United States
16 Jul 08
It's common to give money at a wedding. Money will help the couple pay for all their wedding expenses. Gifts are given at the bridal shower and the couple usually gets everything they need at the shower.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
19 Jul 08
Hie jmessina, that's true and most will definitely appreciate it. Cheers and thank you for sharing.
• United States
15 Jul 08
money answers all things. when they get too much of one thing or not enough of another money is a gift card to where ever. when i give money they thank me and tell me what they used it for. it comes in real handy.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
19 Jul 08
That's great, a gift that's truly appreciated forWise choice and a freedom of choice given. Cheers and happy posting.
@poohgal (6848)
• Singapore
15 Jul 08
I guess it's most practical to give money. Chinese in Singapore often hold wedding banquets. The 'market rate' is around $150 for a 5/6 star hotel, $100 for 4 star and $80 for others. I guess it also depends on how close you are to the person. If you are not close, then a gift or a small token will do. The recent wedding I attended, I gave $250 because it's my good friend's wedding. I also gave her many small gifts.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
19 Jul 08
Hie Poohgal, I guess Chinese will always rate anything in monetary manner. Goshhhhh.....and that is in Sing..dollars..certainly cost a bomb for sure. Here it's at least RM 100 above and more if it's a close friend or relative. Your friend is sure lucky indeed. Cheers and thank you for sharing.
• United States
20 Jun 08
Well since you don't know the couple well, I'd try and find out what store they really like shopping at. Or maybe find a store that sells home products and get them a gift card with a $50 balance or something. Put it in a wedding wishes card and leave them a note that you hope the money finds them well or something. That way they can go shopping and get all the products for their home that they need.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
20 Jun 08
Hie highflyingxangel, thank you for that idea. It will be great and they have a better choice to choose what they too. I just need to do some investigations myself Cheers and happy posting!
@lingli_78 (12845)
• Australia
18 Jun 08
i prefer to give money or gift card and let the couple choose their own presents rather than giving them presents that they might not like it or they already have... like you said, it will be a waste and will be put aside unused... the amount will be up to you... how much you are willing to give them... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
20 Jun 08
Hie Lingli, that is a better idea - a gift card and let them choose whatever they like. Thank you for sharing and cheers,
• United States
18 Jun 08
Cash money is always a good bet.i gave my cousin $25.There more than enough gift cards out there,at least that way they can pick out what they like.Good luck in your search for the perfect gift.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
20 Jun 08
Hie Eachen, yes, the gift card gives them a freedom to choose and they will appreciate the things that they buy themselves better. Thank you for sharing and cheers,
@Lawrzz (15)
• United States
18 Jun 08
for a long time, i thought money, money, money, so they can buy what they like. but now i think u shud try ur best with a present, bc its MORE THOUGHTFUL. just giving money shows kinda a "eh, here ya go, buy urself something nice" air. Or if u relly cant think of anything, and if ur budget allows, try to be creative..like $99 to represent "infinity" for their wedding. or $299 for "2 ppl in infinity"
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
20 Jun 08
Hie Lawrzz, that would be very generous and creative indeed- $299, I will try within my budget and make it so with a personal touch. Thank you for the idea and cheers,
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
17 Jun 08
Money is best, money is the usual wedding gift. Presents are generally given at the bridal showers. I know people still bring gifts to the wedding. I gone to weddings where the bride requests money. These days many brides have their own apartments and everything they need in, therefore, presents would only be a duplication of what they already have. Have a good time at the weddingl
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
20 Jun 08
Hie Sudalunts, it is true what you have said. I would want the money too than presents unless very close friends that know what I need. Thank you for sharing and cheers,
@risris24 (712)
• United States
17 Jun 08
Whenever I go to a wedding I always give money in the form of a personal check. It is what most people I know always give, however they all give it in different forms, whether it be checks or cash. I have learned my lesson though when writing a check for the new bride and groom, never, ever make it out to cash, always make it out in their names. I once made a check out to cash and the check was misplaced and anyone could have cashed it. I had to stop it immediatley and I was also embarrased to say the least since their was no gift for the newly wed couple. I had to re-send another check made out in thier names. I only buy a gift when it is the bridal shower and I always buy what is on their bridal registry. If there is nothing left on the registry or nothing I like I buy a gift card to the place they were registered so they can purchase any item they choose.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
17 Jun 08
Hie Risris, thank you for that suggestion. I can imagine what you went through and the embarrassing state :) Haven't thought of that check and gift card, that's a good idea. Though it is rarely done here and usually given in cash notes. Something good to think of anyway and happy posting!