Grandmothers

@krysi17 (234)
United States
June 19, 2008 9:19pm CST
I need some advice hopefully someone can help me out. Every time I bring my baby to see my boyfriends mother its like she doesn't even listen to me. I understand that obviously she has raised kids before. But I still don't think thats a reason to ignore me as I'm trying to tell her important things she needs to know about the baby. I regret that I don't go over there more often. Its getting to the point where I just don't want to deal with the stress of it all. Help!!!
2 people like this
3 responses
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
20 Jun 08
Is this her first grandchild? It was SOOO hard for me to switch from being the mom to being the grandmother when my daughter had her first child. I forced myself to say "You might want to" instead of "do this" and they were living with me so that made it even harder. I don't think your boyfriend's mother is intentionally disrespecting you, she's just used to doing things her way and, if you don't go over there very often, she's not getting the benefit of seeing you in the role of Mom to your baby. Try to be patient with her and keep telling her what she needs to know. Eventually she will settle down...hopefully.
@krysi17 (234)
• United States
20 Jun 08
Yes it is her first grandchild. I would be a little more patient with her if it wasn't for the fact she overfed her just because she was crying. Before I left I said "I will be back in two hours she ate an hour ago so she will be fine until I get back". I come back early to see that she had already been fed! Its a whole other thing to act like you don't listen but obviously she didn't listen at all. Its like talking to a wall! I'm normally a patient person lol.
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
20 Jun 08
Hey, in defense of grandmothers everywhere, we can't help ourselves when it comes to shoving food down our grandchildren's throats! I have given my two year old grandson a cookie BEFORE dinner more than once and I know better. The words "Are you hungry?" always seme to come out of my mouth whe he and his 7 year old brother come over and I know my daughter fed them. Maybe it's those pesky hormones......
@Gemmygirl1 (2870)
• Australia
20 Jun 08
My Mother is very similar to this, the worst part is that my mother insists on routine visits - every other Wednesday. If your mother in law insists on ignoring you, then just let her know that you understand she raised kids of her own but you'd appreciate it if she'd only do things the way you'd like them done, since it is your child & every child is different so the mother is the one who knows best. Perhaps you should get your boyfriend to say something to her - since she obviously doesn't listen when you say things. If she still refuses to listen then just tell her you wont be visiting any more until she can learn to respect & do things the way you want them done as it is your child & you are the one that is responsible for how your child is raised. I hope it all works out for you & Grandmothers can make life difficult - but just because they have raised kids of their own, things have changed over the years & it doesn't mean they know what's best for ALL kids.
@krysi17 (234)
• United States
20 Jun 08
I'm so glad my mom isn't like that! I do believe its going to get to the point where I cant go over there. Ill be trying short visits but If it gets worse there nothing I can do. I feed my daughter on demand and I always have but shes never been hungry 2 hours after an 8 ounce bottle.Shes only 2 months old. I see how her younger son turned out and it scares me. He is over 300lbs and 15 years old. Obviously she fed him every time he cried too! I try not to be mean but I go by what I see. Anyway thanks for the advice.
• United States
20 Jun 08
Aww, that's a shame. She probably feels as if you are young and don't know anything about babies. I'm a grandmother and I try to stay out of things with my children about raising them. That's one of the nice things about being a grandma, I get to just love them and play with them. I try to honor all their wishes like making sure I read to them and brush their teeth before bed. It's for the best and I have to remember that I'm not the mother. If I were you, I wouldn't go there anymore then. Just let your boyfriend take the baby for short visits. She will probably eventually ask why you don't go anymore and that will be your chance or your boyfriends chance to tell her the truth. She will be hurt but that's too bad, she needs to learn her place and learn to respect you.
@krysi17 (234)
• United States
20 Jun 08
Its so ironic because she knows I grew up my whole life around children. My mom had a family childcare center at my house 24 hours a day up until I was 15. Its just so rude to me that she doesn't at least act like shes listening. If it was over little things I wouldn't mind. I think its a good idea if I don't go over there but I have no choice because my boyfriend lives there. So I guess what Ill do is only come for short visits and see how it goes. Thanks for the advice.