I have a love problem
June 21, 2008 11:27am CST
Ok i'm not the type of person usually to publicise my private life but there isn't anybody else i can ask and i could really use some good advise.So theres this guy i'm in love with.He's my best friends brother.We've known each other since 5 years or so.He's also a year younger than me and had a major crush on me and i thought it was a bad idea so i kinda stayed away.After a while this whole thing continued and i started having feelings for him.So the next time he asked me out (about the 3rd time by then) i agreed.We went out.Then he disappeared after a month because of reasons i don't understand.Then he was back and when i saw him only then did i realise how much i missed him.He was still in love with me so he asked me out again.After a while we both got busy.After a few months again we decided to meet up.I really love this guy and no matter what happens we always end up bumping into each other.Could this be coincidence for a good reason? Recently when we met each other again we were ecstatic.We talked about what had been going on since the last time we had spoken to each other.But this last time was different.I guess both of us feel silly to ask each other out yet again. Oh and i missed out on the most important part.Durng one of those times that we were going out we got busy and barely met.I suddenly hear one day that he's seeing some girl.I don't blame him at all.I barely even spent time with him.So we had an argument but eventually he said he was sorry and didn't tell me because he was scared he'd lose me.After this whole episode we didn't talk for a few months. Now-it just gets weirder.Now we both agree we still love each other and just cant love anyone else now.But neither one is asking the other out.I guess i just don't want to feel silly again if we lose touch as usual after a while.And then theres the weirdest part-i can't gather the courage to kiss him.I badly want to but i keep fearing iys not going to be perfect enough.No wonder the guy thinks i'm weird right.So there it is-since i spent so much time waiting for the right moment,theres been too much of a gap and now its just become weird if you know what i mean.So i'm neither here nor there.And he's gone missing.I need honest opinions about this.If we love each other so much-believe me we do.Is the reason for his constant disappearing the fact that i cant even kiss him.How do i get over my awkwardness so i can kiss him?And why are both of us so irritating?Who's going wrong in what way?And what can i do to make it right now because i feel like he's always the one who has to do something.I want to be the one to make it right this time.
• United States
21 Jun 08
I think you neeed to gather your courage and have a talk with him. You will feel bad if he moves on and you never told him how you felt. If you want a relationship with this guy I think you need to let him know and stop playing around.
21 Jun 08
First and foremost, I would like to ask you, what do you guys do when you are together and both are awkward? It seems that there's too much shyness going on to the point that both can't really communicate well. You know what, I had a similar situation with you a few years back. Though it was in a different scenario than yours but I guess it's quite the same. We met online a few years back and decided to be friends. We agreed that there wouldn't be any courtship and it was supposedly pure friendship. The friendship lasted quite a while, but I was starting to fall for my friend. We talked all the time then, but feelings started to bloom. Fearing this, we started to feel awkward and avoided topics related to feelings and what ifs. Eventually, we didn't talk that much, but in my heart, I really loved the guy and was in pain every time we were with our online friends joking around. To make the long story short. He also disappeared like your guy and would come back after a while, we'd resume the 'secret feelings' and then he'd disappear again. I'd hear from our friends that he's got someone else, then he'd return again. A few years down the road, we went our separate ways, he's got someone else, I have someone else too. But one day I decided to close our past because the memories and questions still haunted me. One time, we talked from the heart and we discovered our faults: 1. He did love me and fell for me at the exact moment I fell for him. 2. He loved me but was too afraid to say it because he was afraid that I'd reject him. 3. We both assumed that each wasn't interested when in fact both were but were too afraid to say anything about it. Yes, the love was true, but it was all too late. I'm not regretting letting go of that mutual feeling because I have decided that anyone who is strong enough to leave or disappear on me, could leave me anytime and hurt me. and if he did really love me so much, he should have gained the courage to say it out loud and not keep it to himself and assume that I'd know. So, my advice to you is this. Don't think too much. Yes, you may love the person, but don't build your world around him. Try to see beyond the feelings because he might not be ready for you or isn't that serious. Furthermore, stop worrying about moments to be perfect. The most memorable times are the imperfect times spent together. Worrying is like sitting on a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere. Good luck and stay happy.