Oh y what a problem:( Maby you can help me with some advice?.

United States
June 23, 2008 7:31am CST
Okay, I am single mom. my daughter is 3, and so far so good ive been doing really well with it.but now i have myself in a perdicament. i dont drive. i was never taught,so inorder for me to work i have to have transportation, i found a program that gives me 300 a month for transportation. with cabs being so high it cost 30 dollars A DAY for me to get to work..Well with that i can only work 3 days a week. with one day in the ladt week of the month. my duaghter was going to daycare wich is a arm in a leg because it was 5 star. with her dad paying child support it was helping me with all that. so i started taking a g.e.d class at first i stil had daycare, Untill my duaghters father quit paying child support, instead of getting behind and oweing the daycare i just took my little one out, Now i ask my mother to wathc her while i work. so it was less for her i dropped down to 2 days at work. the same days i have school. Well my mother doesnt wanna wathc my daughter anymore because she works online and she has a laptop she has woreless internet and the internet doesnt pick up anywere in the house but her bedroom. so because my mother cant be in her room all day on her computer shes mad. she expects me to quit my job so she doesnt have to watch my little one. wich okay she doesnt wanna wathc her thats her choice, whatever. Now of i quit my job im not ganna beable to pay the little bills that i have,plus what my daughter needs cause her dad isnt paying child support. so i would have no income at all. Or quit my g.e.d class and then just start on it another time.. but if i do that ill feel like i gave up. and thats somthing i cant give up on. because right now in my town in order for you to get a job NOT paying just minimum wage. you have to have a diploma or equivelint wich is the g.e.d so i dont know what im ganan do im still contiplating it. If you were in my situaton. what would you do?.
2 people like this
8 responses
@checapricorn (16072)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Hi there MikesWifey, Maybe you can ask your mom to be patient for more days or months until you can finish your g.e.d class and I am wondering if your ex can help you with that problem? like asking him to watch your baby while you are at work? if that is possible? Can you not complain to your ex about the support? I hope you will be able to find solution to this problem..but, giving up your work is quite hard now that you have no support from him!
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jun 08
we havent spoken in 2 years. so i cannot ask him to watch my daughter or to pay the support. we had split up before i found out i was pregnant. and he had gotten out of the military and moved back home.. i didnt find out a month later. so hes not been around for my daughters life.. we have no contact eccept for once.. i dont think he wants to be a father.
• United States
24 Jun 08
I Agree with Ramoth, maybe you can try for your child's right!
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 08
He is already court ordered to pay chils support. but he is a fan of seasonal work. so every six months this is what i deal with. this time i didnt expect it though. I mean how can someone just live off of seasonal work.? unles sof course he is wokring seasonsal for 6 months and then filing for unemployment but will they give it to him ev 6 months??? idk.
@Gemmygirl1 (2871)
• Australia
25 Jun 08
I think perhaps you should try something like a correspondence course, then you can study from home which would be easier. As for the transport thing - you should try & find a driving instructor who will teach you to drive, it can be costly but once you are licensed then it'll be ok. You'd just have to work out whether you could afford to buy a cheap little runabout afterwards. Have you looked in to different daycare - perhaps a home daycare centre or do you have other friends with kids that could watch your daughter while you work? It would be much cheaper for you. Maybe you could look at a closer to home job? I dunno how far things are for you but isn't there any public transport? I live in the country so there's no way of getting anywhere without a car of my own. I guess as a last resort, have you considered moving? If you lived closer to work, then the expenses to get there would be a lot less. You should also consider going to court to get your ex to pay up on his child support - that would help a lot! Good Luck!
• United States
25 Jun 08
Hey there, thanks for responding!:) i actually am learning how to drive right now from a friend. so that is being taken care of. i would use her as a baby sitter but im not sure of im comfterble with leaving my daughter with her. as she doesnt even have her own kids. I to live in the country. on a highway the only thing that comes here is cab drivers, and its 30 dolalrs a day in a cab for me. and i would move, but i dont have the money to move. like i said her dad quit paying and i had went down to 2 days a week. so i could go to school but still makes a little money as well. everything is acrossed town for me. so i can only get there when my friend is going out to town. her and her husband share a car and he works during the day so its never a garuntee i get to go there... but i will hopefully soon have this worked out.. thanks again for your responce!:)
@newtondak (3950)
• United States
27 Jun 08
My suggestion would be to find full-time work and try to find cheaper transportation such as taking the bus, or making arrangements with a co-worker to either ride with them for free or to pay them a lesser amount than you are paying the cab to ride with them. Do you have a vehicle available to you if you were to learn to drive? Learning to drive and getting your license is never a bad idea. I would attempt to find GED classes that did not interfere with full-time working hours, perhaps at night, or take classes online during the time that you're not working. My advice to anyone is to do your best to learn to live without child support from your child's father. If you get it, then fine - your child can have some extras - but don't become dependent on it.
• United States
24 Jun 08
I was in my late 20's when I first got my drivers license and I live in a very rural area so I understand limited or no public transportation. My advice to you is to talk to other young mothers. You may be able to arrange a schedule where you watch their child during the evenings or a couple days a week and they watch your daughter in turn. I'm not suggesting you leave your little girl with just anyone, but if you can find someone you trust you may help her as much as she helps you.
@underdogtoo (9601)
• Philippines
24 Jun 08
You are in a situation where no amount of advice could solve. These things happen all the time and we think to solve them using our brains and our intentions and our desire to do a better job with our lives. The fact of the matter is, it is your life and your mom can't be doing what you should be doing. Your daughter's dad is involved in this but he seems to have conveniently dropped out of the picture. That leaves you with your wonderful little daughter. She deserves the best that you can give her and that is your love. I have no advice to give you. I have been in your situation so many times and I do not know how I managed to get past them. The only thing I know is that when the situation gets too much for me then I give it to God who has a special relationship with me, and we have a pact where He takes what I hand over to Him after I have tried everything within my power to do.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18463)
• India
24 Jun 08
i think talk with your mom. she also can forego some of her earning for this child. is there any alternative taht you can take? like good paying job and all? take care of social service as well.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
24 Jun 08
well, all i can suggest is for you to take public transport to go to work and may be there is a government institution that can help you to subsidise your daycare fee for your daughter... i know it will be hard for you if you are not working as you have to pay the bills and i don't understand why your daughter's dad stop to give you the money for child support... i wish you all the best and hopefully everything will work out for you... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@ssh123 (31104)
• India
24 Jun 08
I understand the situation is more complicated. Under the circumstances you can opt for: 1. Earn through internet working at home 2. Also conduct on line tuition. In India there are millions of women who work at home (I am talking about educated) by taking up things like (a) Life Insurance agent (b) Mutual fund agent (c) resident representative for a company (d) Editing work which can be done at home etc. If similar positions are available, I think it is worthwhile. Recently I took up mutual fund agency (financial advisor) and I could earn close to $2000 in 4 months!! There are people who go out and meet people and make more than $1000 per month.
1 person likes this