1 1/2 Year old - going to see grandma for 11 days 1200 miles away

@ebsharer (5517)
United States
June 23, 2008 10:30am CST
Okay so my mom is in town right now and we are talking about her taking my 18 month old daughter home with her back to Florida for 11 days. Then I would fly to Florida for 4 days spend some time with every one and come home with my daughter. My husband and I have thought about this over and over again. We know that she will be WELL taken care of. And will get to see a lot of family that she hasn't seen in a few months. The flight to FL from PA is only 2 hours so if any thing were to happen we could be right there. We trust my mom and dad but are afraid that they don't know exactly what they are getting into - having a toddler around for 11 days is a lot to take on when you aren't used to it. With the prices of tickets and the days I work - she would be there for 11 days or not at all. That can't change. Anyway - What would you do? or what have you done? What would you do if you were in my situation - send her or not let her?
2 people like this
9 responses
@schilds (410)
• United States
23 Jun 08
I would say it depends on your daughter. Is she comfortable with her grandparents, and without you? My daughter is just starting to be ok with out me right there at 4, but her brother would probably be just fine at 2. My neighbors girls take turns spending 2 weeks or so at a time with their grandmother out of state - and the youngest is now 2 1/2 -- her first visit was last year at about 18 months. I think if my mom offered to take my kids for a week I'd pack fast before she changed her mind!! Showers alone!! Legs shaved!! No one pushing me out of bed at 2am!! I would miss them and probably go crazy after the first day or two of quiet, but I would love to have a few days to be my husbands wife again.
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@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
24 Jun 08
My daughter is very confortable with my parents and her great grandmother who would watch her while my mom or dad was at work. Every one is young enough to do so. My mom had me young and I had my daughter pretty young. So with mom and dad in there 40s and great grandma in her 60s they could handle it. When my mom offered to take her I was ALL for it. But the more I thought about it I don't know what I would do with myself for 11 days with out her. It would be nice to take a shower alone - shoot go pee alone LOL but I can't do it yet. Maybe if it was a shorter time.
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Well, i think i would probably pass. at that age its not like she would remember going or spending time with any of those relatives. if you want to go spend 4 days down there, why not just still go down and take her with you so the family can see her? i might worry that she would be scared being alone with out her mommy for so long. my parents are wonderful with my kids, but i don't know if i would feel comfortable with them having them so far away for so long.
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@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
24 Jun 08
Well we are passing this time but not because of her because of me. I am not ready for it. I think I would miss her too much. If it was a shorter time I would probably send her but its too long for a first time.
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
23 Jun 08
I think that your child is too young developmentally to be away from both of her parents for that length of time. I'm a grandmother so I can understanding wanting to bring my grandchild home and I'm sure your mom would do a great job but she's the grandmother, not the mother or the father. Very young children do not understand the concept of time so your daughter will not only be dealing with missing you and her father terribly and the fear of never seeing you again, she will also be dealing with a totally strange environment and complete strangers. Hearing your voice on the phone will only make her more scared and sad. Personally, I don't think this would a happy visit for your child at this age.
2 people like this
@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
24 Jun 08
Thank you for your input. I want to first say this my parents are in there 40's so age isn't an issue. Second its not that strange for her. My family comes to visit often - she knows every one. She may not remember the house she would be staying in but she would remember the dogs so I don't see the house being an issue. You have to know my daughter to understand that last sentance. As for the missing me I don't know how much she would miss us. Two months ago my husband and I went out of town for 3 days 2 nights and my mother in law stayed at our house with Luann (my daughter) and when we got home she didn't seem phased at all. Anyway I know I am defending sending her - maybe I am trying to talk my self into it. But the realty is I am not ready - We have decieded that she is not going.
@SwtJenlove (1090)
• United States
23 Jun 08
It depends on how close your daughter is with her too. you dont want her to go and then get scared cause mommy or daddy isnt there. I know my son wouldnt dare stay anywhere for that long without me being around especially if its with someone he hasnt been around alot. my youngest son just turned 2 in february so they are right around the same age. you have to think about how your daughter will take to you not being there or daddy not being there. I hope that helped.
2 people like this
@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Thank you for responding. I don't know how she will act with my mother for that long. I know that she just loves her and when my mother is in town my daughter goes to her before myself or my husband. I haven't decided yet but am leaning more toward no. Thanks again!
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@Gemmygirl1 (2870)
• Australia
25 Jun 08
I decided with my partner that it wasn't necessary for our daughter to be away from home unless she asks to do so. Being only 2 it's really not fair to just leave her somewhere without her being able to understand why we're not there & why she is. I don't know how my daughter would react to being left somewhere without either of us around & i'd hate for her to think we'd just left her there. I guess it's up to you but for us, we're happy for overnight visits ONLY when she's old enough to know what's going on & is able to ask for it because it's what she wants. My parents are about an hour & a half from here so if anything went wrong it's a pretty long drive - especially if she had to come home for whatever reason & i guess it'd be an easier things to handle if we know she WANTS to be there rather than just being left there! Good luck with your decision though, it's not an easy one, especially the expenses involved & the length of time it would have to be for.
@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
25 Jun 08
I wish my parents were only an hour and a half away. My daughter would be there once a month for a weekend visit! The expenses aren't that bad. She is free because she sits on your lap and the tickets between here and there aren't that much. Thanks for your imput!
@k101707 (102)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I know how hard it is to leave your child. In fact I have a 8 month old. There is no way I could let her go anywhere without me for that long. If I were you I would probly make another date for you, your husband, and your baby to go down together. I think that letting her go by herself would not only take a tool on her but you and your husband too. One thing that you want to take into consideration is "When was the last time she was without you, how did she do, and how long was it". Hope this helps you. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
24 Jun 08
Its too much for all of us to go down. Not only financially but with our schedules its hard to get 1 day off let alone a week or so. We have decided that she isn't going this trip but we are planning for one in the winter. I don't think she would have as much issue with it as I would. She loves my parents and loves being at there house. I wouldn't let her go just any where. But I know that she would be more then taken care of there and have a blast. I'm just not ready for it. She was with out both my husband and I in Feb of this year for 3 days 2 nights - she stayed with my mother in law. She was fine and it didn't seem to phase her at all. It was worse on me.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
24 Jun 08
I would nnever send her.I would take her for her holiday and be there throughout the holiday.If grandparents want to spend time with her then they should come and stay with her. Unless it is some emergency like I have to go for assistance to my inlaws' or something else then it would be for a very short while that I would allow my child to be with parents.They are old and the child is far too small ;I would never do it.I have never ever sent my child anywhere alone for holidays .[even to the closest relative's place]
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
24 Jun 08
Well to address the "age" issue - my parents are in there 40's and my grandmother is in her 60's so thats NOT an issue. My parents work and my grandmother would watch her during that time. My parents come to see her very often as does my grandmother but there is other family members that want to see her that can't just get up to PA. My daughter has stayed with my mother in law for three days and two nights once and a few over night stays. Luann (my daughter) has had no issue with staying with her. I think she would have a wonderful time. Now for the result. I am not sending her - why because I don't want to be with out her for that long. We are planning a shorter winter trip for the end of this year. Thank you for your input!
@subha12 (18453)
• India
24 Jun 08
it depends on how well the child can adjust,. if she is ok with your mom and does not cry, its then ok.otherwise it would have been very bad. still i think she will have some problem. but its nice experience for her.
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@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
24 Jun 08
Of couse my daughter likes my mother and doesn't cry with her! I would never let her go otherwise! My parents and grandma come up to see us often enough that my daughter knows them. We also talk once a week via web cam so she knows them that way too. We have decided against sending her but more because I would miss her too much. I am not ready for that long. We are going to try to plan a shorter trip during the winter.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Jun 08
I know this must be a hard decision for you to make, but if your mom and dad really love their grandchild and are not yet 'really too old to care for her, I think it would be a great thing for you to do and then you would get a mini vacation with your parents. its not like your daughter were going to be with strangers. Your mom raised you and you turned out okay did not you,then trust her that those memories will come back and she will be able to handle a little toddler once again. go for it.I would do this were I in your shoes. time togetheer is precious and they love your daughter too you know.
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
24 Jun 08
To address the age issue first my parents are in there 40's so age isn't an issue. And while they work my grandma would watch her and with her in her 60's thats not an issue either. My daughter is VERY easy - VERY well behaved so I'm not worried about them taking care of her. Its more of a can I be with out her for that long. My husband and I have decieded shes not going this trip but maybe next time.