Talking about Marriage
By Springlady
@Springlady (3986)
United States
June 23, 2008 10:52am CST
Hello everyone,
My boyfriend and I are getting closer everyday. I have to say that I believe God has sent Kris to me. I have been in an abusive marriage several years ago..very long story and I vowed I would never marry again.
Kris is so different! He loves me...inside and out. He is constantly wanting to do things for me and for my family. He tells me he loves me all the time. He goes to church with me (he is a Christian) and he is just a wonderful man!
We have talked about getting married sometime in the future. I admit that this scares me somewhat, but I am praying daily for God's will and guidance.
I love Kris very much. He is everything I want in a man. He would make a wonderful husband.
I have had breast cancer a little over 4 years ago and this seems to kind of "hang over on me" if you will. I have days when I fear it coming back and I do not want to be a burden for him if it ever does. But then again, I believe he is the kind of person who will love me no matter what!
I don't deal well with big changes. But, I know God is in control of all things and I take everything to Him in prayer.
Just wanted to share this with you!
Thanks for reading and God bless!
7 people like this
16 responses
@Springlady (3986)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Hi kareng,
Yes, I am happy! My boss even noticed that I am so "chipper" as he puts it! lol!
I do believe Kris is a gift from God. Kris says that I'm a gift from God to him which brings tears to my eyes!
God bless you!
1 person likes this
@soulist (2985)
• United States
23 Jul 08
That is so awesome springlady! I am so happy you found such a wonderful man who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I have dealt with cancer as well: Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I understand what you mean when you say you don't want to be a burden, but if he is the kind of man I think he is (based on what you've said) I think he would give you all kinds of support if it ever comes back.
1 person likes this
@Springlady (3986)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Hi laglen,
Thank you so much!
God is really good to me and I really need to stop second-guessing Him!
God wants us all to enjoy all the good things He gives us!
God bless you!
@Mare73 (1335)
• United States
25 Jun 08
Girl, I'm so happy you guys are talking about marriage!!! From what you have told me (via email) and such, I think and strongly believe that Kris is sent to you by God. Some people say that a person can't make you whole, but I disagree. I feel that we all have strengths and weaknesses and God sends us a person who can complete us. If you're weak in an area; or have less knowledge, Kris will help you, and if he's weak in an area you're probrably strong in that area. As James puts it...God sends us what we NEED not what we want.
You have been through a lot; and it's time for you to accept this blessing. He's been with you through the good and the bad. He's a God fearing man...Go for it.
I'll await my invite :-)
1 person likes this
@Springlady (3986)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Thank you so much, small.
Yes, I will definitely take my time! I know I am 40 years old, but I still have lots of time and I want to do the right thing. Marriage is never something to rush into.
God bless you!
@Springlady (3986)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Hi Laura,
You are right. I have talked to him at some length about my fears, but he says he loves me and will take me anyway he can get me! lol!
I know that if he were to get cancer or some other disease, I would be there for him.
Thank you for your response!
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
I think that you are being way too hard on yourself. If you think you are going to be a budon on Kris, then it's not love. Your abusive marriage was not loe. If he truly loves you, then you will not be a burdon to him no matter how things go.
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I agree with you BUT at the same time I understand that way of thinking...when I hooked up with my husband and with the bf too my concern was hwo they would handle not only my history (the abuse) but also the after effects ya know...Its like a self preservation thing
@Springlady (3986)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I may be a little bit hard on myself. I just remember how sick and weak I was from the chemo and how much I needed others to help me. But really when I think about it, that is what love is all about..taking care of each other's needs and being there for each other.
Thank you, Raven, for your input. I appreciate it!
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
23 Jun 08
One of the first things I told my husband when we first met was that I was sick and if he stayed with me, I would expect him to be able to take care of me. I've had copious amounts of evolving and revolving health problems and the main of the many problems they cause is that not only was I unable to complete my education, but that I can't work, I can't do physical labour. Sometimes I'm even bedridden for hours or days. He accepted it and even though he does get fed up with it every once in a while, he is very supportive and does a great job of taking care of me. I'm very lucky to have him.
@Springlady (3986)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Sounds like you have a really good guy there, Gloom!
You reminded me of a girl that just got married on Saturday. Several years ago, she had a benign tumor on her spine and had to have surgery. The surgery caused her to be paralized from the waist down. She is in a wheelchair, but is working and can take care of herself.
She never thought that any man would love her because of her disability. She found this wonderful guy who takes such good care of her and it is such a wonderful thing! Something she thought would never happen!
Thanks for sharing that, Gloom!
Have a great day!
@AmbiePam (85431)
• United States
23 Jun 08
I'm a firm believer than a man cannot complete our lives, but compliment them. And it sounds like Kris would compliment you very nicely. And you the same for him! He is a gift to you, but never forget you are a gift to him as well. I pray blessings on the both of you friend.
1 person likes this
@Galena (9110)
•
23 Jun 08
the way you talk about him, it sounds like you've been hurt in the past, and understandably, that makes you wary.
but it sounds good. it sounds like he'd make you happy.
I wish you the best in this.
love is a very very powerful thing. it can completely change your life. which is scary sometimes, but wonderful too.
1 person likes this
@jade1986 (563)
• India
24 Jun 08
Hello springlady, nice to hear such a story... These thoughts often come in most peoples' lives. Nobody can be perfect in all respects, some deficiency will always be there. Some of these problems are too negligible to discuss but the thought you have in your mind deserves to be discussed with your boyfriend. I advise you discuss you thoughts as soon as possible and release your mental burden. And for sure, you can then verify all your beliefs...
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
25 Jun 08
Hi dear
i am constantly reading ur post and glad to kbnow that u have firm faith on Allah,
i know this post is just for reading, just want to add one thing, Put all faith in God and marry Krist, i am sure you wont be disapopointed this time
Take care
@sdmoonchild (731)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Congratulations! I believe that if he is in love with you, he will accept this no matter what. I was also in an abusive marriage and have now found someone that is my soul mate. He is very laid back, is interested in what I am doing and he loves me. We tell each other that on a daily basis. I have only been dating him since April, but it feels like we have known each other forever. Our relationship is so comfortable that we don't even have to talk to know how we feel about each other.
We are planning on living together next April and I can not wait. This relationship feels so right and so true.
@sturner03 (326)
• United States
24 Jun 08
Good luck with your relationship. Sounds like you have a strong supportive man that is worth keeping around. I don't think you are burdening him, you need happiness and love just as much as he does. Keep your head up and stay strong.
