Does it really pay becoming a 'martyr'?
• New Zealand
25 Jun 08
I have read the previous responses to this discussion and they have a unanimous answer of NO... but for me... I'd say YES it does pay being a martyr... and YES I have experienced such sacrifice for the one I truly love... actually for all the ones I have ever loved... I understand that most people would not sacrifice all their pride and will not let others simply step on them... well it is true and it is right... but for me... I can swallow all my pride for the one I love... well I preserve some of my dignity but sacrifice at least 90% of it... I still also have my principles and I try as much as possible not to bend my own principles except if its for the best... I wouldn't say I'm always successful in winning their hearts but to at least make them look at me once more because of my efforts and sacrifices is more than enough pay for all I've gone through... Of course I still hope for all the love I give to be reciprocated and it is true that most one sided love doesn't end well but at least I know for myself that I am capable of loving... and not just simply loving but loving truly... and that's one of the fruits I reap from the seeds of my sacrifice... maybe most of the time I don't end up with the one I sacrificed for but I still believe that someday someone will come to give back all that love and even more... I started loving someone unrequitedly... well just the fact that she does love me but she's not in love with me... and I both love her and is in love with her... we're the best of friends and all but still that does hurt... for 1 1/2 years that was the situation but I never stopped making her happy and showing all the love I am capable of giving... I gave her my heart, mind and soul... I did all the things her ex-bfs was never able to do for her... and after that 1 1/2 years I did reap the fruits of my labor... she learned to love me... she fell for me... and of course I was very happy and felt very blessed... for more or less 6 months we were very happy... but before we reached our 2nd anniversary as friends (just imagine the 1 1/2 years plus 6 months) she ended everything... so I thought that it still ended as an unrequited love... but through the course of loving her I learned something... I did earn what was due to me though it was only for a short period of time... because I did see and feel how happy she was with me... and how she couldn't afford to totally lose me... in fact though we're not together anymore we're still the best of friends... we still go out together... in fact some of our friends are confused and thinks that we're still really together... so though it didn't end the way I wanted it to... at least I know that somehow I did win this... because I'm sure for the rest of her life she will treasure me... all the things we've done together... and all the things I did for her... and I'm sure no one will be able to replace that memory... I hope you learned something from what I shared... but it's just my opinion though...
25 Jun 08
Well, in the long run, I do not think that it will pay being a "martyr". It's good to love a person unconditionally but we also have to preserve our self-respect. It's very important that we respect ourselves so that our partners would learn to respect us. If you think it's a bad relationship, and it will only give you further heart aches, it's better to walk away. In some instance, the person that you love might change for the better, but how long can you wait?