Madly in LOVE with a guy who don't care

United States
June 26, 2008 6:52pm CST
I'm in love with a guy who I have been in relationship with for 4 years. He was my first everything and I'm badly attached..For the past 4 years I have try doing everything to make him happy...I cook for him, I clean up after him, when he is broke I buy him food to eat...Sometimes I even pay his phone bill...Well, just recently I gave him almost 300 for a trip that will help his future career...unfortunately that 300 was my rent money..and now I am left without anything to pay for my rent and I am homeless...I am staying with another guy..I asked my boyfriend if I can stay with him he said that he's not the type to "shack up"..I told him I had no other options...He said I can still stay with my guy friend...once I don't sleep in the same bed as him...I know I'm foolish for still being with a guy like that...but love is keeping me in the relationship...I don't know what to do
4 people like this
30 responses
• United States
27 Jun 08
It sounds to me that this guy is taking advantage of you and you need to get out before he continues to use to... you don't want that do you???? For one he doesn't care about you at all cause if he did he would never ask you for money and second he wouldn't ever allow you to stay with some other guy that is wrong... A month after i met my husand he ask me if i wanted to come and live jacksonvile with him.. A month and for you it has been 4 years that crazy... If he really cared hun he would have invited you live with him long ago sorry for being so blunt
• Indonesia
27 Jun 08
OMG, he won't let you stay with him after you've helped him and he was the cause you lost your home? You might want to think about having a new guy? I mean, let's face it, he obviously don't respect you, he lets you homeless after all you've done for him? Please think this through, I'm sure you're a nice girl and there are many other guys out there for you.
1 person likes this
@ayrin03 (318)
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
Wow! hmm..sounds like you're lost. For me, you give what you've got and if he still acting like that means he really don't care with you. See, he allows you to sleep with a guy friend. If he's really a man he will not allow it. First of concerns and second is he loves you if he insist that he dont allow. But as I see he really don't care about you. Why don't you try breaking up with him and we will see if he will agrees with it. You've done too much and I think, you really don't found out that you losing your respect to yourself. You know what, it is the last thing that you will have when you broke up with him. Your afraid to lost him. How about him? Is he afraid to lose you? Love yourself girl! He is not the only guy in this world. Try to look around. It is really too much! Your grown ups.. You know what to do. It's your choice if you like to stay with it. Remember you are the only one who will suffer. Goodluck!
1 person likes this
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
That's a good start! You have acknowledge the fact of your foolness. Now the next step is to decide whether to continue that foolness or stop it. Now you are saying, love is keeping you in the relationship but how about the guy? Does he love you? I think he don't! He just uses you. Wake up! Don't let yourself be fooled thousand times. You don't deserve that kind of man. Don't say you don't know what to do. Coz you actually knew it you are just afraid to accept the truth. That you failed in that kind of relationship with that man. Love yourself first before that j@rk!
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30206)
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
oh my, you should really try to think correctly cause you are blinded by love. you have to look after yourself too. How can a guy not let you in his house when you have nowhere to go and would say you can stay with another guy's house? that is plain foolishness.
1 person likes this
27 Jun 08
Know what? What is so good about you is that you are willing to accept the fact that you are fooling out with this stupid guy... It is actually you yourself who would decide whether to stay with your boyfriend or no more. I know it would never be that easy for you but try to hang out with friends and move on. He's not worth it you know...
1 person likes this
@EEBEAN (28)
• United States
27 Jun 08
You are headed down a very destructive path; You're sacrificing your well-being on someone who does not care for you. Get away from him and get yourself some help so that you don't seek this same kind of relationship over and over again.
1 person likes this
• Jamaica
8 Jul 08
Hi, I am Angellaca Yes you know what to do..It is time for you to move on, there is other fishes in the sea, don't waste another penny on him. there is a saying "it's not who you love, but who loves you" you will get better treatment from someone who loves you. if he cared any at all, he would not tell you to go ahead and stay with the other guy, he could have rented somewhere for you and let you stay there. Don't let him use you, you are too precious in the sight of God You have to love yourself, tell yourself that you deserve better, God has someone out there for you, you just have to wait patiently
• China
7 Jul 08
'You know it's much more different for a boy to fall in love with a girl he doesn't like ,than let a girl to love a boy who she originally have no feeling with. similarly ,it's more different for a girl to quit the love story.But you should be conscious,seasoned,and rational. Maybe you can try some tricks,,to test how much he loves you . Don't you be hopeless or sad..problem do end .If you two are not as appropriate as you imagined before,breaking up would be realistic. Be solid ,there are much more good boys than you imagined
• Trinidad And Tobago
6 Jul 08
It is sad that you are bein treated this way It would seem as though he is useing you for his own needs. If he realy did love you he would not treat you like he does You deserve better
@yvette49 (20)
• United States
2 Jul 08
baby girl, you have to back the train up. this is a two way street. you know that old saying, why by the cow when i can get the milk for free.( you can't by love). love comes from within. let him go, because the more you do for him, the less he will do for you.bottom line is baby girl you are in love all by yourself.
@metschica25 (5407)
• United States
27 Jun 08
Honey , You dserve so much better trust me . There are good men out there and one day you will see what a great guy is like . Love shouldnt hurt this bad and should be easy . All you have done for him and he wont give back , that is just sad . I am so sorry you are going though this and I know letting go of someone you love seems impossible , but each day will get better. Dont think you dont mean anything to him because you do he just seems like a jerk . You could also tell him if he doesnt shape up you will leave him and see what he says. Best of luck dear and keep us all updated .
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
good day... Don't waste your time much your life with that guy. Better love a dog than that kind of a guy. Get out and Live up, life has more to offer you.
• United States
27 Jun 08
You admitted to being a fool yes. He doesn't care. He's most likely dating you and using you. If he tells you he doesn't like to "shack up," how will he be ready to shack up when you guys get married and live together? With your personality, you can find plenty of better people out there. I say you don't let love get to you, because he doesn't value your love the same way you love him.
@DCMerkle (1281)
• United States
27 Jun 08
You are obviously a giver and he is a taker. The more you unquestionably give to him he will un-thankfully take from you. It's hard to make a break from a relationship from that especially if it is your first relationship. Now the two questions that you need to ask yourself is: 1. Do you love him or do you love the fact that it's just a warm body to come home to? 2. If you have learned anything from this relationship, what is the one thing that you can use as a guide to avoid a relationship like the one you are in now? I'm sure that you have heard it all before, but it's time to give back to yourself. DCMerkle
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
Knowing that you're being used and choosing to still love the person, any advice here wouldn't help. It's harder to help people who know they are getting hurt than those who don't. It's not love that you're feeling anymore, it's just something you got used to. You've been with the guy for 4 years and breaking up with him would seem like a waste to you. You're afraid of change, of experiencing things without him. You wouldn't know what to do. Seriously, stay with him longer and you'll find yourself degrading, losing self-esteem. If you're having trouble leaving him, think about it this way. If you leave him, would everything be lost aside from the relationship? Do you deserve being treated that way despite of the things you do for him? Is he the only guy in the world who would love you(even though obviously he does not)? You'll see that you'll benefit more if you just left him. Take note though, this kind of guys would always say things that would make you feel guilty like, "You're leaving me because you think I'm just using you?" DO NOT be swayed if you've already decided to leave him. Be firm in your decision. You deserve better than what you are experiencing now.
• United Arab Emirates
27 Jun 08
I feel you should be more real and practical. It is clear that you love him more than yourself but this love is one sided. He is not suitable for you. You need to open your eyes and see. He is just trying to use you in every sense. He does not deserve you. You seem to be so loving and so loyal to him that he just don't deserve it. Please be faithful to yourself. Love should be from both the side. You really need to think from your brain not from your heart in this matter. If you really cannot live without him, just try talking to him about how you feel about the whole issue. If nothing works, then just try to be strong on your emotions and think wise. You have your whole life ahead.. Take care.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Jun 08
dojhue is this love really, a guy who lets you take care of him like a baby and does not show anything remotely like love for you. grow up girl you must get out of this relationship before you lose all self esteem.You have to think of you first, how dare you use your rent money to finance this bum then shack up with some other guy.look you need to clean up your act and figure out just what the heck love is since you know now what it isn't . lust is not love dojhue, I am beginning to think you have the two confused.
• India
27 Jun 08
love is mad but still you are an indivisual and should not be doing something that would harm your self esteem. by helping him in those respects you are doing him more harm than to help him . now that you have ended up being with no money.....what would you do???? remember there is more to the life than love of this kind.
• India
27 Jun 08
plz dnt b blind in love...whn ths guy is nt at all bothered abt u...tk a bold step...leave him...he is ruining ur life...and taking u for granted..."dnt love a person u love, instead love a person who loves u"