Is Being A Stay At Home Mom, Stressfull To You?

@eihdra (3116)
Philippines
June 27, 2008 12:34pm CST
Do You Sometimes Feel That Being At Home Most Of The Time, Gives You So Much Stress? Are You Already Freaking Out Because You Have So Much To Do, But So Little Time To Have It All Done? Just recently, I fired the househelp. So, it means, I am doing all the work around the house aside from taking care of the husband and the kids. My body is already aching and worst, my migraine is back! The work is easy but the load is not. Everytime I turn around, the toys I cleaned up, are back on the floor. The laundry basket is never empty and so is the sink. I feel that, I have never done anything to make the house clean and uncluttered. The kids just took their bath, but after awhile they're dirty again. I haven't got a systematic way to do this yet, but I will, given some time. Maybe you have suggestions on how you go about your daily tasks? Kindly share your thoughts, so I may try it and make my life stress free.
2 people like this
8 responses
• United States
28 Jun 08
I go through the same thing too! For awhile the mess bothered me, but not so much anymore. I spend two to three days weekly getting everything in order and putting things away and then do light maintenance work daily to keep up the appearance of things. Checklists help keep me organized so I know what to do next. And, I only do things once a day no matter how many times something gets messed up. It is not so hard when you find an organizational system you like. For instance, when my daughter was two years old, I had to put away most of her stuffed toys because she kept throwing them on the floor. I wasn't being mean. But she has hundreds of stuffed toys and they get dirty and she would throw them all onto the floor was a constant daily thing. Then she would get five toys at one time, that she could play with and no more. And, if she wanted more,then she was allowed one or two more,but had to put one thing back. Now that she is older, she doesn't dump out her toys onto the floor anymore and if she does, she picks them up when I ask. If your kids are old enough they can help you out around the house. I don't even bother asking my spouse to help. He takes out the trash and cleans the litter box and works, so that is enough for me! LOL! Seriously, though, I would prefer cleaning to be done my way and not his. I have to tell him to get out of my kitchen and not micro-manage my cleaning or else he wants to dictate how things should be done. That drives me nuts! You might try using paper plates and then throwing them away. Or, using a dishwasher instead of hand washing dishes. I do lots of hand washing, cause we don't have a dish washer. It's worth the money to buy a dishwasher and washing machine/dryer. Otherwise use paper or plastic plates. And use the local laundry if you don't have a machine. The work is too back breaking otherwise. As for other things, like household clutter, just put up the items that are most likely to be strewn around. If the same papers and magazines are always laid out and make a mess, then put them in the closet or hide in a box under the bed. Most times, these little things can be easily lived without. And if they are not in sight, then things look less "lived in" and less messy. That is what I do for my own house! I am sure you will do fine and find your own system! Best of luck. Be well.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
I am slowly having things organized around here and i have laid out a system on how to go about it everyday. I hope the day will come when all things are settled..thanks again..
• United States
4 Jul 08
Thanks for best response! Very much appreciated. It's always nice to talk with you. Be well. BeautyQueen
• United States
27 Jun 08
Every mother symphatizes with you. I am a mother of 5 children. A single mother. Coming up with a system will depend on a few things. How many children do you have? What are the ages? Maybe I can help. My children are from ages 17 to 1.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
I have a 9 year old and a 9 month old..It's a great task for you to bring up 5 kids and they must have been so proud of you...I just fired the house help, so, I'm still having a hard time getting used to having to do it all by myself..But, as days passed by, I am slowly learning to conquer the chores ..Am now setting up a system on how to do all of it in a non-stressful way..thanks..
• United States
3 Jul 08
The only way to get is to set up a system that works for you. It may take some time and adjustments, but in the end it will be worth it. You will start realizing that you can still have time to yourself.
@ellie333 (21018)
27 Jun 08
I found the easiest way to keep the house tidy was to be out of the house the majority of the time and get back in in time to do dinner. I would always bath the children at night and put into night clothes read a book and then to bed that way they wake up clean and only need a fash wash and teeth brush after breakfast in the morning. I would put a load of washing on and then off out to be back by lunchtime, take load out and hang and then back out possibly to a mothers and toddler group where they have all the toys in the world to play with and the ones at home would stay put away. I am a working mum now but when at home needed to get out and meet others or else I would get stressed and lonely as it is a never ending cycle. We went out and fed the ducks, to the park, toddler groups. Somedays I would just stay at home and the toys would be everywhere but I didn't mind as long as they were picked up and put away for teatime then the bath bed routine. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
i tried to put away the toys and hid it in the vacant room but my eldest have a knack for finding hidden "treasures", so the toys are back in the main sala..I guess, I have to go out sometimes, in order to de-stress..So when I come back home, I feel fresh and renewed energy..thanks..
@cher913 (25884)
• Canada
27 Jun 08
currently i am a stay at home mom because i cannot work due to health issues and what i worry most about it the money that we need to pay bills. my kids are older so they can help. when they were little, i didnt find being a sahm stressful that much.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jul 08
How old are your kids?.. are they grade school age?.. and after school do they go out to play?. what i would do if they are. is give them each their chores for the week. Not hard ones but mabey some little ones that will take some load off your shoulders,mabey it will ease up that migrane. somthings you could give them as chores is. clean the babthroom they use. or come to the living room. make sure stuff is nice and neet and vaccume. or even just pick up their rooms. or crush the pop cans whatever. somthing that is small but still somthing you have to clean everyday. Now if your kids ARE NOT school aged and are at home with you all day. main thing.. no toys in the living room. thats why you have a bedroom:P. to store them and play with them. that way your not running all over the house trying to collect toys. before they can leave their room to go do somthing else. check to see if there toys are put up. and if its dinner time and there called to thr table then make sure toys are picked up before bed. its so much easier to clean when the kids are sleeping so you dont have run around worried about tripping over them or them taking toys out behind you.. and to make you cleaning job easier and more funner.. give your kids a rag wet it and let them go.. show them how to wipe things down:P turn on some fum music and dance wit h them im sure they will ove that and im sure you will ove iot to to see thoes smiles on their face.
• United States
3 Jul 08
OoPSE!lost track of what i was meaning to say:P... Me i do not have a routine. somtimes i feel so lazy to clean. my little girl is 2. and she knows how to tear ahouse up wiht the best of them.lmao and me i do clean up her mess in the living room. BUT when it comes for her room. no she does that herself i sit in there with her though. thats one think i have to brake her and myself of. I am not organized,no matter how hard i try to be HAHA.
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
5 Oct 10
Not really when sometimes, too much work cant handle with any body pains..stress is more. Rest of that with kids its always a stress free.
• United States
3 Jul 08
Yes, being a stay at home parent can be stressful. If you read half of my discussions relating to parenting and/or stress, you would know what I mean. I suffer from depression, work part time, raise my kids, run a homeschool co-op, and manage all of these affairs whilst attending college. My plate is beyond full, it is overflowing. But when the stress seems to build up I step back. A long time agao I heard a phrase that hass tuck with me. Stress is only as dibilitating as you allow it to be. MAke a consciious decision to manage your tasks so as to not allow your tasks to manage you. Who cares if your kids get a little dirty ten minutes after they get out of the bath? You know they were clean ten minutes ago...they are not neglected...they are happy and healthy. Who cares if there's twenty five toys on the floor? You know they were all cleaned up a half an hour ago. Your kids are exploring and learning and developing their personalities. Bottom line, a messy house is not the same as a dirty one, likewise a lived in house is not the same as a perfectly clean/organized/and tidy house. As long as your kids are happy, healthy and safe....the rest doesn't mean squat.
• United States
3 Jul 08
I'm a stay at home dad so I feel for you. I have a 5 and 8 year old. I try to keep a schedule that works for me, since we home school and thank goodness its summertime, I still have a list of things to do and I never leave one task undone. I also have help, it might not be what I want but I'm teaching them to honor rather than obey. Unless you're having a party every night, there is no reason to expect a spotless house. I had grappled with this notion until it dawned on me what an exahusting task that is. I make sure they are fed and don't run out of the house naked, other than that, do one thing at a time. Another secret I've found is shutting a door when its not being used, this negates the need to wander in an open room. Plus, I put numbers on the doors, I'll ask, do you want to play in room 1, 2, or 3. Make those the only rooms they go into, three rooms to clean is easier than a whole house. Hope that helps.