Did you cut your child's hair off because you couldn't deal with it?

@mommyboo (13207)
United States
June 29, 2008 8:25pm CST
I have heard this from some parents before - that they get fed up with their child running from them or hiding or throwing the brush or comb away because they don't want mom or dad to brush or fix their hair. As a result, they chop off or buzz their child's hair. For a boy I don't think this is such a big deal, but for a girl I think this is terrible. If you do this, why do you do it? Have you considered your little girl's feelings in the matter? Perhaps I am sensitive about this because I have long hair and I like long hair. I don't think cutting it off is a solution to the problem at all. If the kid doesn't mind, then it doesn't bother me but I don't think it is right if they don't want their hair cut off. There are all sorts of great products, kid friendly shampoos and conditioners, kid friendly spray detanglers, leave in conditioning creams, no reason to throw in the towel.
7 people like this
25 responses
@tammyr (5969)
• Etowah, Tennessee
30 Jun 08
When my daughter was in pre-school there was a girl in her class with lice. It got so bad! We would get rid of it, but the one girl would keep it and give it back to the other kids. I HAD to cut her hair. I DID NOT shave her hair, or even cut it real short, but it was her first hair cut and at 4 years old it was quite long! We even went so far as sending her to class with olive oil in her hair to keep the lice off her! Finally laws were passed here that if your kids keeps lice and you don't get rid of it, they can arrest you for neglect! Thank goodness! I have only heard of one person getting arrested from this law, and one was threatened for it, but she really was treating the kids, and all the family, she had receipts and Dr visits to back her up!
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
30 Jun 08
Eeeek! You know, as an adult you kind of forget about communicable infestations like this. My daughter got pink eye right after a ballet class and that was a terrible shock to me because I couldn't figure out where or how she could have gotten it. I tracked it back to ballet, preschool, or the play center at my gym and fortunately she was non-contagious by the following morning because I got drops right away. So far there hasn't been any mention of lice at all from any of my kids' schools in the last few years. I remember having checks at school when I was a kid and it was pretty irritating. They'd make everybody take a letter home and then all the parents would have to treat all of the kids. If you didn't get treated, they could refuse to let you back in class, etc. I would definitely treat all of us and wash everything if anything was suspected because lice are awful if they get into your home and all over everything. Most of the stuff available now will work to get rid of it without too much trouble.
1 person likes this
@tammyr (5969)
• Etowah, Tennessee
30 Jun 08
It has been a while since she got it THANK GOD!! I am parinoid about lice! We don't use the chemical treatments that you buy over the counter or by Rx. We use Olive oil and vacuuming as well as the heat from the dryer. Many children have become sick with long term complications from these pesticides. We decided to do it green and do it with out chemicals. It takes a bit longer, but is just as effective and a lot safer!
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Olive oil is great stuff! I cook with it and it also makes a nice hand softener - plus you can add sugar to olive oil to make a nice softening scrub for your feet.
• Indonesia
30 Jun 08
I don't have any problem with my daughter's hair, she has straight hair so I don't need to brush them every so often. And my 3 years old is very girly girly you know. Last week I just bought her a princess theme kids hair brush, she's been using it herself till now. I do cut her hair at times, when the bangs reach her hair and last month I cut it short because it became so hot here, her hair was too long.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Ah but with long hair, you can put it up and it stays off the neck nicely. Is it still long enough to put things in it?
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
1 Jul 08
Yes, she still can wear those cute hair accessories, I can't take those away from her!
30 Jun 08
My Mother Did When I Was Little It Is Very Long Now But Still.....I hate That She Did It But Hey I Probably Would have did the same thing
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
1 Jul 08
I find it very interesting to see how many people have stated they did not like having it done to them... yet they would consider it if their child put up a fuss. I think it would be easier to punish for putting up a fuss and then the child learns that you just don't put up a fuss.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15347)
• United States
30 Jun 08
I kept my girls hair short not buzzed but below their ears. until they would take care of brushing it themselves. I don't see why a parent should have to struggle trying to get a child's hair brushed. I did give my youngest daughter an almost buzz after her sister cut her hair about an inch long. She was never able to have long hair and still can't . Her hair gets to a certain length and breaks off then it looks like she never washes it or combs. I'm not fond of long hair any way I never have been . The only time I think long hair looks good is just after it has been brushed,
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
4 Jul 08
With long hair you have to do one of two things, not fight the texture and fullness - or use product and stylers that help you achieve what you want. If you have thin fine straight hair, keep the ends cleaned up so they don't get raggy and use a light product that keeps it from staticking. If you have thick curly hair, use moisturizing and smoothing products and defrizzers to keep the curls looking nice. Of course you can chemically or heat straighten curly hair if you don't like it, or perm straight hair if you don't like it, but both take a lot of upkeep and the only people who seem to have that kind of time from my recollection is teenagers.
@newtondak (3950)
• United States
30 Jun 08
I cut my daughter's hair short when she was around seven or eight. She refused to care for it herself and refused to cooperate with me when I took care of it. She was given the choice - she either took care of it, or it would be kept short until such time as she would willingly take care of it. She chose to keep it short until she was a teenager and then grew it out long again. I think many times, parents are the ones who want the child to have long hair - not the child. It's cute and everyone oohs and cooos over it and compliments it and it makes the parent feel good. The child is miserable and often won't tell the parent that they don't like it. My step-daughter had very long hair - her mother insisted that it be kept long - but it was very fine and wispy and tangled easily - it was always out of place and looked as if it hadn't been combed in days (which often was the case since the mother rarely took the time to do it). The child kept telling her mother that she wanted it cut short but the mother kept telling her that "little girls do not have short hair".
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Some short cuts are cute, but what I'm talking about is basically giving a little girl a boy cut, I'm not talking about a cute bob or to collar bone or whatever. Most little girls want to be noticed as girls right away and I've seen a few with boy cuts and had to do a double take. There's also a big difference between a nice cut/style and a whack job, and it's the second one that steams me up.
@walijo2008 (4649)
• United States
30 Jun 08
When my sister was little, she had long hair, but the thing was,she didn't want to comb it, she would't let my mom touch it, without screaming and throwing a fit. So one day my mom went and chopped it all off, we couldn't believe it, she said she got tired of fighting with her everyday to comb her hair, and she used to get gum in it all the time, it looked like a rat's nest, we all tried to comb it for her, but she would just fight us. Well after that, my sisters hair grew long again but she didn't mind combing it this time, she knew mom would get her again if she didn't, she didn't like the haircut she got the first time..lol. I think it depends on the situation, I don't know if I would do that, but I would probably find a better solution.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Jul 08
I understand the frustration factor but I know MY hair is so important to me I feel like cutting it off for a reason like that is like cutting off a body part. Just because hair doesn't have nerve endings doesn't make it an 'okay' thing to do even out of frustration. Know what I mean?
• United States
30 Jun 08
Yeah well my boyfriend's niece does it herself. She'll find a pair of scissors and cut it all off. It looks so bad too. She's only three. Her mom like flips out everytime she does it. You would think she would start hiding the scissors.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Um yes, no kidding. One thing that worries me with small kids getting ahold of scissors is that they could seriously hurt themselves, poke an eye, cut their face or ear or really anything. I dated a guy who had a 3 year old daughter back when I was 20. She got ahold of scissors while she was at her mom's house (mom was 'entertaining' a guest and had no clue her 3 year old had a scissors) and butchered her hair badly and scratched her neck. My boyfriend was beside himself and ripped her a new one when he went to pick her up because he knew she could have hurt herself badly enough to have to go to the ER - we were lucky it was just her hair. she was a young three and not particularly coordinated - and they were SEWING SHEARS type scissors!!
@angelface23 (2502)
• United States
30 Jun 08
No I have never done that. My daughter lets me comb her hair after the bath but she hates when I try to put barettes in her hair. She rips them out. It's frustrating cause she's a little girl and it's fun to fix her hair all cute but she really hates it. Plus her hair is super fine so most of the things don't stay in her hair anyway.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
1 Jul 08
How old is your daughter? I changed my avatar to a current picture of my daughter. When she was younger she would pull anything and everything out of her hair. She also would pull anything and everything out of MY hair. As a result, for awhile, neither of us wore anything in our hair and I also stopped wearing earrings and necklaces and other things since she'd just pull on them. She likes hair pretties now and sometimes I will do her hair - but not all the time. When I have no time, I just put conditioning cream in it and some detangler spray and comb it when it's wet so it doesn't snarl up.
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
30 Jun 08
my mom did this to me (no, i didnt get a buzz cut!) but i had almost bum length hair and she didnt want to deal with the knots that would always come along so she got it cut, i guess i was about 9 ish.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Bleh. Did you like it okay and did you start taking care of it so she wouldn't cut it off again? LOL! I'm just trying to figure out this level of frustration. It must be really bad, because with hair I haven't reached it. With other things, certainly. When my daughter started changing her clothes five times a day, I took her clothes and put them in a room she couldn't get in. She would put the cast off outfit directly in the hamper and I had told her that I wasn't going to wash clothing she wore for 10 minutes.
• United States
30 Jun 08
No, I've never cut my kids' hair off (Ido have 2 boys). BUT, when I was a little girl, I had "boy" cuts...My hair was really thick and curly, I guess too much so for my mom...I mean, they were cute cuts, I just never had long hair. Always wanted it though:(
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
30 Jun 08
Awww. Do you have long hair now? I always wished I had thick curly hair. I'd have taken care of it myself though so I wouldn't have LET anybody try to cut it or keep it short. GRRRR. I was pretty insistent that my long straight hair stay long, and I permed it constantly for about 6 years. I was a teen in the late 80s and early 90s - remember the huge fluffy bangs? That was me!
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13712)
• Philippines
30 Jun 08
I cut my baby's hair... not only because it was so difficult to comb and tie fix it... but because her neck would be all covered with sweat... especially during hot days... which would make her neck and head itchy and smell not so good... it was actually for her own good why i cut her hair... she doesn't really mind it... since she is still too young to notice...
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
30 Jun 08
My daughter had a lot of hair when she was born but I didn't think it was TOO much... lol. Her hair is long now but it's not super thick or anything so I have a hard time understanding how a baby would have so much hair that they'd be sweating everywhere. It'll grow, hopefully it won't be as hot by then.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21182)
• United States
30 Jun 08
I have buzzed my son's hair before, but not because I was tired of dealing with it. He is like a little furnace and in the summertime he sweats like crazy. Buzzing his hair is the only think to do to keep him from being miserable.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
30 Jun 08
LOL! This is one reason I tend to use hair ties and scrunchies and ribbons more in the summer, to get our hair off our necks. Boys actually look quite cute with buzzed hair. Unfortunately I don't think self-haircutting accidents or the Brittney Spears buzz look is going to catch on for girls.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13918)
• United States
30 Jun 08
i don't know who would do that to their child. i would never cut off my little girls hair because i don't want to do it. my little girls hair is done to her behind and i don't like to do it because man i just don't like doing it. but i would never cut it off. i have two boys and i never thought i would have a little girl. now that i am blessed with my baby girl and all of her hair, i would never think of cutting it all off
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
30 Jun 08
Same here, same here. One of the reasons I posted this discussion is because I have indeed been faced with very blunt parents who have actually told me that they cut off their child's hair because they didn't have time and they didn't like doing it. It sounds like a very poor attitude and a very lazy thing to do. There was actually a guy I talked to on yuwie a few times and he had some lovely pictures of his daughter.. until I got to the third album. In that picture she was almost bald, and I asked him about it. He told me that she cut off one side so he cut all of it short... and I don't understand. There are ways to blend hair without having to cut it all off, and I don't care who says it can't be done. Is Olivia's hair very curly? I'm not sure what your favorite style is, but I love love love naturally curly hair. Alas mine is like stick straight without even any volume, but I did perm it for years as a teen to get my curl fix.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jun 08
I can't imagine cutting my daughter's hair just because I thought it was difficult to deal with but I have known parents who do. When my daughter was little she had long, thick, curly hair that would tangle and snarl easily. But we just used a lot of sprays and conditioners to keep it managable. I wanted her to decide when she got older how long or short she wanted it. She keeps in about medium length now that she is older. I love to see long hair on little girls so that is why we never cut it short.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
30 Jun 08
I agree with you! My daughter's hair is long and I think it is beautiful. She gets compliments on her hair all the time, even when it is messy lol. Some of my personal conviction comes from how I feel about my own hair, and my daughter sees me take care of mine so she also helps take care of hers. =)
1 person likes this
@mescue (64)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I just have to respond to this....when I was very young (don't recall my age), my mom cut my hair because I wouldn't let her brush it. I am now 30 yrs old and to this day have not had hair below my shoulders! I now have a daughter of my own, she's 2, and have only cut her bangs.
1 person likes this
@tammyr (5969)
• Etowah, Tennessee
4 Jul 08
HI mescue, Welcome to mylot! I hope you enjoy it here! Feel free to ask if you have any questions, I'm always happy to help new members if I can. I will request you as a friend. If you accept you can pm me. I keep my hair at or below my shoulders too. It just feels better and looks better, to me anyway.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
5 Jul 08
Hi! Welcome to mylot (and my unscientific poll on cutting hair). I am still almost in shock at the amount of respondents whose parent(s) cut their hair off because the kids wouldn't let them brush it. I guess my question is now - when you were a kid, WHY didn't you let your parents brush it, or if you didn't like that, why didn't you at least do it yourself? LOL! I never liked having messy raggy looking hair. I probably brushed my own hair more than most of my friends did. They still make the same detangler they made 30ish years ago (johnson and johnson) so that's what I bought at first for my daughter. We have graduated up to some of the ones that match her kid shampoos and conditioners and smell like fruit.
@mescue (64)
• United States
5 Jul 08
My mom has a hard head so I guess she assumed I did as well. It hurt when she would brush my hair! I actually like my hair short. When I do try to grow it out, it just goes up in a pony tail and eventually I will get bored and get it cut again!
@Carrie26 (1587)
• United States
30 Jun 08
I trim my daughters bangs but havent cut her hair.It is long .DOwn to the middle of her back.When she was little her hair when she was a little over a year old she had realy curly hair that was cute.No that her hair has gotten longer it doesnt hold the curl now and its has some curls but not much left.I dont want to trim her hair due to the rest of her curls being gone once I do.She is almost 3 years old.I use detangeler on her hair but she doesnt like me to comb it at times but I hold the hair and start from the ends so the hair doesnt pull.But she still at times gets upset even though I am not pulling her hair when I comb it as she pulls forward and it pulls like that when I am combing it.My son I cut his hair close to his head and they use a electric razor on the rest of the bottom but its not a buzz cut.To me it doesnt bother me that parents cut their childs hair as long as it isnt really really short.Like a buzz cut for girls or above their ears.I hated when my mom cut my hair and she had it cut in a mushroom(that what they called it back then)and it came a little below the ear.SHe cut all of my sisters hair like that until we were old enough to take care of it good enough.If the parent would cut the child hair to the shoulder then they could have some hair to still put up and it wouldnt get in the way.But if parents want to cut their duaghters hair short that is their decision. I cant tell them what to do.That is thier decision and i feel everyone is entitled to their own decsision.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Mushroom... like Dorothy Hamill? I might be dating myself by mentioning her, she was a skater and I think that's how her hair was cut, in like a layered mushroom LOL. I do not have thick hair, I could never pull off anything layered.
1 person likes this
@Carrie26 (1587)
• United States
1 Jul 08
No.LOL.It was kind of like a bob.It kind of hard to explain.My haircut came below my ears but was about chin length
@tammyr (5969)
• Etowah, Tennessee
4 Jul 08
I have never responded to the same discussion twice, but this is a whole other topic so I will. It isn't what I did but another. I was visiting the area schools telling the girls about Girl Scouts. We did not ask the boys to be separated. while one of us talked the other passed out flyer's. It was my turn to pass out. When I was done, one little boy with hair about 2 inches long raised a hand every so slightly, I caught it early enough that no one really noticed but the little GIRL did. Her hair was a boy cut, and her eyes filled with tears because she knew I had thought she was a boy. My daughter wants her hair short. She wouldn't have thought a think about being mistaken for a boy. ( Unless she is in a public bathroomI don't think the little girl asked for hair that short. The poor thing. I don't know why, but I knew it was awful for her. NO parent should cut a girls hair that short if they don't ask for it to be. A TRIM can help tremendously but chopping her hair off is cruel. I have heard rumors around here that if you cut a girl's hair too short (ie: buzz cut) you can be charged with some type of child abuse. I think it is a great law if it is true. I don't know the particulars of it, but I think this part of it would be a good thing. It is cruel enough not to even mention what the children at school would add to it.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
5 Jul 08
This was part of the point I was trying to make with this discussion. When you don't consider the feelings or thoughts of the little girl (or boy) and just use your own frustration, what have you taught your child? That instead of teaching the correct behavior (don't scream and fuss and fight with mommy) that you are the authority and can just do whatever mean thing you want? It has other damaging points as well. If it isn't a nice cut or style and it looks horrible, kids will tease. Kids are very honest, if something looks pretty, they will gather around. If something looks ugly, they will say so. They aren't like adults and they don't have the skill of filters or tact, I mean they learn what we teach but developmentally they can't adjust what they say to make sure it's true without hurting someone's feelings, they just blurt things. Girls don't want to be thought of as boys and boys don't want to be thought of as girls - not at first glance, under normal circumstances. My older daughter was mistaken for a boy before - however I don't blame myself because SHE chose to have her hair that short and wear the same types of clothes her brother wears. My personal thought is that people are plain stupid, it's obvious she's a girl, she has boobs lol. I have a funny story related to that, well it wasn't so funny for ME but it was for her =) She was almost 13 when my husband gave in and let her cut all her hair off. Granted this was her decision. Anyway, I had to take her and her brother to get a vaccine for school. They both look very similar, and they REALLY did 5 years ago when this happened. I don't look like them but I am very obviously a girl. I ended up going to the health dept because that's what the letter from the school told us to do, quicker than making an appt. When the nurse came to administer the shots, she accused me of being Britt (my daughter) because she decided at first glance that either I had two sons or I was trying to get out of getting a shot. I pointed out to her that I was not 13 and that was indeed my DAUGHTER, not my son. I don't know who was more irritated on the way home, she or I, but she did think it was funny that they thought I was her.
@lyzabelle (1669)
• Philippines
2 Jul 08
I cut my son's hair because it's growing long. My mother, brother and sister got angry. They don't want me to cut his hair. It's cute and curly. But I cut it anyway. He is a very active child and he perspire too much. That's the main reason why I cut his hair.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Jul 08
Aww.. baby curls. I don't know that I would want to cut simply because of that. A trim sure but cutting off the curls no.
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
1 Jul 08
No I never did and my Daughter still has long Hair today as an Adult lol I used to love taking care of my Daughters Hair, when she was a Teenager she had it cut in a Bob and it looked lovely but then she decided she preferred it long lol so she grew it again
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Jul 08
LOL! I've always had long hair. I guess I'm kind of lazy, it's a good thing i don't have to style it because I wouldn't. I spent like hours on it when I was a teen and now I'm lucky to take 10 minutes on it after a shower.
• United States
30 Jun 08
I had my daughter's hair cut because she wouldn't let me brush it. I just didn't have time or energy to spend an hour each night fighting with her to let me take care of it. So she was given a choice, let me care for it or it gets cut off. If she had cared all that much about it she would have let me take care of it. After having it cut that once I never had a problem again. And I did consider her feelings which is why she was given a choice to cooperate or get it cut. I tried every product out there to make it easier and she still CHOSE to make a fight of it. It may not seem right to some people that I did that, but even children have to learn there are consequences and I was not going to let her run around with matted hair.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
30 Jun 08
How old was she when you did this? While I agree completely about consequences for her choice, it still seems a shame. If she was old enough to have taken care of it herself, why didn't she do it (if you don't mind me asking)? She may not have been, I don't know. My daughter started learning how to brush and/or comb her own hair when she was around 3. I still tend to do it for her instead because if I let her do it, it takes half an hour =)
1 person likes this