He's only 8...please remind him that he's a little boy

United States
June 30, 2008 10:45am CST
I don't in anyway think that my boys (13 and 10 years old)are angels because they can be stinkers. But we are friends with a couple that has an 8 year old that always gets involved in things that I don't feel a child should. For instance, we had them over a few weeks ago and instead of all the children playing together...he sat with the adults and interrupted our conversation. What I mean by interrupting is....we were talking about pregnancy when the little boy said that women shouldn't have babies unless they were in their 20's. He also went on to say that our hubbies should be at work for 12 hours a day because if they aren't they aren't men. WHAT? I couldn't believe what he was saying and I really couldn't believe that his mom didn't explain to him that it was an adult conversation. I don't feel comfortable talking about certain things with my kids in the room so when they are with us I talk about things that engage them in the conversation. But this little boy doesn't stop and his mom doesn't seem to think that it's a problem. These are just 2 situations but there are soooo many more. This little guy also went up to another friend of ours and told him that his little boy needed to be disciplined. Again his mother didn't say anything to him. He also has a bit of an anger problem so he has to be monitored with other children. But that's a whole different discussion. How do you handle a situation like that? His mother knows that people get bothered by his behavior but doesn't do anything about it. Do we as parents ask him to play with the other kids because the adults are having an adult conversation?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
1 Jul 08
yes i agree with you, but in my case it was because i was an only child and i didnt have any cousins that were my age, so i hung around with adults. but yes, these days the kids are acting older...my daughter who is 15, is acting like she is engaged to her boy friend (i keep telling her she is missing out on fun she could be having.)
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8732)
• United States
30 Jun 08
Children do not belong in adult conversations, period. Unfortunately mom is not going to change so don't expect the 8 year old to. It isn't the kid's fault, it's the parents. He's being brought up this way. I don't see any way of handling it that won't offend the other couple. Since mom can't be a responsible parent I would tell the 8 year old the conversation is not meant for him and he needs to go play. I would also tell his mom that you expect the same amount of respect as you give her. If this mother lets this behavior continue she's going to end up with no friends and maybe it is time to let her know that.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (29043)
• United States
30 Jun 08
Personally I would probably stop inviting the couple over. This is one reason I don't like kids, lol. Yes I have 5 of them but don't like kids. It's really just other people's kids I don't like, because of things like that. My own kids I could tell them whatever I pleased, but you don't feel comfortable doing that to someone else's kid. If the mother isn't sending him off to play, then it seems a bit rude for you to. I would get really irritated with that situation, and as I said, probably not invite them over again. If they ever call and ask why, I'd simply say "I don't feel comfortable having adult conversations in front of a child, and your child doesn't seem comfortable playing off with the other kids while we talk."
• United States
30 Jun 08
Yes, I can see how it could be rude. We've never experienced this before so it's just really strange to us. We've had so many kids in and out of our home and they all respect the adults time but this little guy is so different. Thanks for the advice. Although I hate to have to stop inviting them over I may have to do just that. have a good afternoon
• United States
30 Jun 08
Well short of that, my only other solution would be to talk to the mother and tell her your feelings on the situation. Tell her you enjoy having them over, but don't feel comfortable talking about adult topics in front of the boy, and perhaps next time she could make sure the boy plays off with the other kids, or better yet, leave him with a sitter, lol. Of course that's not always a comfortable conversation to have either. I'm sure somehow you'll find a solution. I'm more the type that I lose respect for parents of misbehaving children. I feel the child's misbehavior is due to the parents, and I'd be upset these parents don't teach their child manners. It is quite rude of him to interrupt and to say the things he says to adults.
1 Jul 08
Hello bubbles89, If you friend and the little boy comes around again, just tell him to go outside and play with the kids, I think his moum talks to him like she is talking to an adult, so wheres the father does he say anything to him? But I am suprised that the mother won't say anything to him, I would. Good luck Tamarafireheart.
• United States
1 Jul 08
I agree wih you. The little boy is home schooled and very intelligent. I think that because he's with his mom (who is also very smart) he does forget his age. As far as the dad goes....he's in the military and often out of state on temporary duty assignments
• Ireland
1 Jul 08
Thats a tough one.. Your friend will probably get mad if you try to tell her what to do with her son. I would just maybe have 'adult' discussions maybe when they dont have him with them or when he is have discussions where the kids could join in. She doesnt sound like a great friend if she wont listen to you
• United Arab Emirates
1 Jul 08
hi, This is not acceptable to me. I don't think that children should be a part of adult conversation. The parents should take this seriously and handle the situation. We are just robbing the kids from their childhood and their innocence. The parents should realize that they should not talk anything related to adult in front of their kids. It is our duty as parents to protect the innocence of our child. Take care..
@ketybhagat (4125)
• India
1 Jul 08
Maybe Some mothers feel that a child should be allowed to butt in adult conversation so that they grow up being worldly wise. I personally think an 8 year old needs to be fun loving and innocent. How on earth did you manage not tell the mother privately about it. I would have bursted at the seems. Anger problem, does the child have some help to overcome this. Maybe the mother feels that by stopping him, a bout of anger will arise for which she is scared. Whatever, such children need help.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
1 Jul 08
it is very bad. i think there is certainly problem with the grooming of that child. why he would have acted like that? i have also seen few people like that where children talk like this. really scad. parents should be blamed.
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
30 Jun 08
I would be sending the boy to play with your boys since they are older than he s there shouldn't be too much of a problem. I think I would also tell him that he is being rude to say thing like the men should be working 12 hour a day or they weren't real men. And if the mother didn't like it she could take her obnoxious child home. Maybe she is ignorant abut teaching him manners. Some time a parent just doesn't see that their little darling is a brat and is obnoxious. They only see them as their little daring and so naturally everyone just love to be around them. (sarcasm)
• United States
30 Jun 08
i understand your situation, i often have to tell my little boy to go in his room, becuase he likes to be in everyone's conversation. and i just think that there is a time and place for a child to be in a conversation with an adult. as i was growing up me and my brothers already knew when mommy had company we headed straight for the room and we didnt try and peep aroud the corners or anything cause my mom woul definitely get us. but that is kind of hard to say becuase you are right the boy's mom should be the one putting him in his place not other people. but the next time you can just be like why dont go in the room and play with the other kids, in a nice way. and if his mom doesnt say anything or ifsh just continue to let him be there. then i would just not even allow them to come over and if she asked me why havent i invited her in awhile i would just tell her why then.thats probably her problem, no one has ever told her about her son , so she thinks it's ok.and from what you say he has been saying it sounds lik he has been in ona few other grown conversations.
• United States
30 Jun 08
kids learn from their parents. If the Mom isn't doing anything than I am not exactly sure what to tell you. I don't know, maybe you could talk to her privatly and ask her why she let's this behavior persist. Not even me and my siblings interupt adults. and I am an adult.
• United States
30 Jun 08
I think all children, if they are allowed to, will interupt a conversation. They like to feel important too. However they need to be instructed to go play with their friends, while the grown ups are talking. If I am having friends over to visit, I either do it without my children present, or make sure they are very clear that this is mommies time. I dont like to exclude my children, but they have to know when it is time to not interrupt, or play in another room. Honestly I am not sure I would hang out with these people anymore. This child learned these things from somewhere, and they might just have much more liberal views than you.