With Friends in myLot - who needs enemies?

@pillusch (1149)
Mexico
June 30, 2008 4:55pm CST
Just joking, but I got your attention, didn't I? LOL But I do want to talk about friends in myLot. How do you make them? How do you keep them? I'm not a "heavy" myLoter, as you can see by my number of posts after a year, and I'm still in the process of figuring out how to 'do this thing.' So here is what I've been doing lately. Anybody who responds to a post of mine, or anybody whose post I respond to, I invite to be my friend. And I have the notification on, so that I get a mail when one of my new friends starts a discussion. That gives me the chance to a. reply to a discussion, without having to look for something interesting inside the site itself and b. to delete new friends when, after a few discussions I get the impression that there is a compatibility issue between me and my new friend. How do you deal with it?
4 people like this
9 responses
@cheenlly (3483)
• Philippines
1 Jul 08
lol...indeed you got my attention, very catchy headlines. Personally I did the same thing you did when i was new. But as i go on i kept exploring and as mylot community grows, my friends also grow. I add friends, invite and i don't decline any invitation but as of now i couldn't really update response to all of my friends because i had only limited time now as compared before and also now i go directly to top discussion and if i encounter their discussion and if i can relate i would respond and i rarely do my own discussion right now. I know some maybe forgotten me because i became inactive for couple of months and when i came back i only post few because of limited time. I just deal on it, right now i just post and share whatever discussion i can relate only. visit some of them once in a while. that's it.
• United States
1 Jul 08
It is not like your looking for a date. If you are not compatible with your friend answer their question any way. You might have a fresh opinion that they did not think of.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
1 Jul 08
When I first joined myLot, I had no idea how I got the friends. I found out how by accident and then I invited everyone who asked to join. Big mistake. A lot of them were just making points by having as many friends as possible, had no intention of replying, and were just interested in the money - i.e. when they posted, it was questions that could only be answer yes or no. I then decided to invite those who replied to my posts, well I forget that when it comes to controversial subjects such as religion and politics, there is the danger of flaming. I felt that most everyone was against me. So I deleted the most vicious and I went to my interests, found that in the interests that I enjoyed the most, I was short, so I got a whole lot of friends that way. Now since I have a balance, anyone who asks to be my friend, becomes one. Yes some of the ones I deleted rejoined and it did not matter because now I had a balance and could get all sides of an issue. I think if supposing you are against a certain belief or ideal - like supposing you hate cats and you find out that you have in your friend list a whole lot of cat lovers. Then what you do, is either delete some of the cat lovers and go to the interest that says "I hate cats." NOw I am giving you that example because there is no such interest, and besides if there were, the cat lovers would kill it.
@Aaron79 (23)
• China
1 Jul 08
I am very happy to see yourlot, and I feel I can find many frieds here.I am chinese, but I think, friendship is not national boundaries. Maybe my english is poor, but I think it is not critical for making friends. And welcome to china,I am hospitable for my real friends.
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45640)
1 Jul 08
I don't think that a myLot friendship sets out to be anything other than an expression of two people that have enjoyed a discussion together. However, it can become much more. I have about 200 friends of whom, 12 are "close". What I mean by that is that these are people that I have corresponded with away from myLot. I've spoken to them on the telephone, or webcam and, in one case, have actually met them in person. I have only ever asked about 10 people to be my friends, plus another couple where I have been asked by another friend to offer friendship. I am happy to do so on their recommendation. I only have my closest friends notifications switched on, and that's enough frankly. I have had a difference of opinion with a friend in the past. However, we have always apologised to each other and carried on. This is a discussion forum, so it is to be expected that we will not agree occasionally. The problem starts when the disagreement becomes personal. At that point, if there is no chance of a reconciliation, then you might as well take them off your friends list. Most importantly, enjoy your posting here. Happy myLotting.
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (64322)
• Italy
1 Jul 08
You have a good way of doing things and I started off with the same intentions. Now I just do not have enough time to respond to the discussions made by all the friends on my list If that will mean we will become 'incompatible' that's sad I respond where I feel I can contribute something useful ( uhm..is telling someone off useful? ) and try to be in as many places as I can - but it's not easy with the jobs I have. I have never deleted anyone yet from my list. Most of them know that when I can I'll get round to responding to them. All the notifications are on and I DO read all the discussions started by my friends. I'll get round to yours as often as I can - hoping that that will be enough (fingers crossed). Happy posting!
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Well most of my friends invited me (with only a couple of rogues deleting me a time after). I invite friends but not nearly as much as I get invited. I might put notifications back on full, but the last time I had them I got blasted with too many things. I do keep up as much as I can with friends discussions, but it can take time as the list is rather long. I do respond to other random discussions too if I'm interested. Compatability issues arise with friends but I think that makes the friendship stronger. Surrounding oneself with nothing but yes-man bandwagon drones can make one way too complacent and narrowminded. There's a few friends on here that I disagree with many times over. However, we also have social links away from disagreements and even stronger than this is the assistance rendered to friends. Both of those are worth quite a lot to other people here, and in other places all over. So at least from my perspective, friendship can be a tested item, but also something that grows and matures...along with the friends involved.
1 person likes this
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
30 Jun 08
That sounds like a very good arrangement, pillusch. I do a similar thing, and try to respond to all the new discussions of my friends if I have something useful to contribute. I haven't deleted any friends yet ... but maybe they've deleted me!
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (29043)
• United States
30 Jun 08
I don't really add friends often, I wait for them to request my friendship. But if I keep seeing the same person in my discussions, or other discussions I'm responding to, I will ask them to be my friend. I have only ever deleted 2 friends, but if I find we don't have much in common I will just turn off their notification so I don't recieve e-mail when they start a discussion.
1 person likes this