Principal Sends Home Pornographic Photo

United States
July 1, 2008 6:25pm CST
Someone please tell me I'm not over-reacting... My son brought home what I thought was a note informing me that my child was involved with handling inappropriate material at school. Upon opening the envelope there was more than a note. A woman on her hands and knees, in full color, showing all of her "glory", greeted my still-had-sleep-in-the-eyes vision. Boy did I feel visually molested. There were instructions at the top of the photo for me to sign verifying that I had seen the picture. I did more than sign. I got dressed, took my boys to school and asked for a conference. I was hearing two conflicting stories. My son told me that when the photo arrived to him, he looked at it and turned it in to the teacher, thinking he was doing a "good deed". The principal said that the teacher caught him and another child passing it around. First I'm not saying my child is innocent of any wrong doing, but I do know that the picture did not come from my house. My beef is with the "authorities". Why did you send this picture home with someone whom you say was passing it around. Wasn't there danger of him passing it around on the bus for more eyes to see? Why didn't you call me to let me know that the photo was coming home with him? You call me for everything else. I was told by another administrator that there was no sense in me crying over spilled milk??? When is being concerned about the way something could have turned out, crying over spilled milk? I was also told that the original principal that I spoke to did not break any rules by sending it home the way that she did. I think she handled the whole situation carelessly. Anyone have any comments?
12 people like this
16 responses
@aimsmith (30)
• United States
2 Jul 08
In my opinion, the situation was handled very poorly. The school should have called you instead of sending the picture home with the child. Talk to your son about the issue. Tell him that you won't be mad at him no matter what he did. Get the truth out of him and buy him a toy. Then tell him not to do anything like this or be involved in anything that he knows is wrong. This will allow him to talk to you about other things as he ages.
• United States
2 Jul 08
Thank you for your comment. My son is eleven and it's about time to start that talk anyways. I got him a book about his body and issues concerning his body and the changes he's going through. Him and his little brother (9) had a field day looking at the pictures and asking me questions. We are a really close family. I have one girl and three boys and talk about everything. My son is a habitual liar and I'm trying to teach him that telling the truth even if you're going to get in trouble is better than lying. It builds character and earns you respect. He's still young and trainable, so I'm just going to keep on doing what I've been doing and that's raise them as properly as I know how.
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3697)
• Philippines
2 Jul 08
Jesus! It's one thing for your child to get involved in this, it's another to rub it in by having your child send it to you! My God. They should be ashamed of themselves. It was not handled professionally. They should have called you to let you know personally.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Jul 08
I told them I did not appreciate being greeted so early in the morning with such material when I had not yet seen my own "privates". They said that they didn't appreciate seeing the picture either. Okay, so why not post it for the whole world to see and be visually molested!!! Thanks for commenting.
1 person likes this
@filofari (74)
• Singapore
2 Jul 08
This is a horrible way of dealing with the issue! The school should have called you and explained the situation. In fact, if I were the teacher, I would request for you to come down and have a talk with both your child and yourself. The photo should not have even left the principals office. It's folly on the school's side an the principal should have apologized for the way it was handled.
• United States
2 Jul 08
Well at the end of the meeting she did apologize and we were in agreement that it should have been handled differently, but at the same time, the other principal was telling me that even though the other principal was apologizing, she had done nothing wrong in the way that she handled it. Whatever, let me be the judge of that, I'm the one who was FORCED to view the material. Thanks for the comment.
• Singapore
3 Jul 08
Sigh, some teachers/principals are unteachable. Well, but it is good that the issue is settle amiably.
@rckayla09 (113)
• United States
2 Jul 08
gyfted1, I do! I feel that the school principal and teacher are morons and so are the school authorities :) I say this because whether or not your child and another child were involved in passing that thing around in class really isn't the point; nor is them saying the original principal you spoke with didn't break any rules by sending it home without an explanation. The point is just as you said, the teacher handled the whole thing carelessly as did all the principals spoken to about that picture! I do not understand why the teacher couldn't just write in the note itself that she was concerned about the material enclosed?!? And to tell a parent there's no sense in crying over spilled milk is asine and insane when it concerns your child! You have every right to be concerned about the stuff that's passed around school or it getting into the hands of other children. The principals you spoke with, and the teacher, should have had the courtesy of writing an explanation to you about why that picture was being sent home with your child when they gave him the note. To not do so was careless and irresponsible. A child's school is responsible for explaining the whole situation to you, the parent. How else is a parent supposed to know what's going on in their child's school if the school "authorities" do not explain what's happening to the child's parent.
• United States
2 Jul 08
Hey you!!! They are morons to the 100dreth power. You know I don't play when it comes to my children. When they are wrong, they wrong. When they've been wronged, I make it right!!! Thanks for taking the time to respond.
• United States
2 Jul 08
hey you too!!!! no thanks are necessary because it's wonderful to see you on here :) yes I do know you don't play around when it comes to your babies, and that's one of the reasons I just had to respond to this discussion even though I myself am not a parent; to let you know that you were definitely not overreacting on this! The other reason is that I couldn't believe what irresponsible idiots that school has working for them!! Although there were lots of morons and idiots working as principals and even teachers when I was in school, I thought times had changed for the better! Unfortunately I was wrong. Hence the reason I'm glad to know you don't plan to give up pursuing this matter. It truly is a crime when school administrators and teachers do not communicate better with the childrens' parents.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
2 Jul 08
I think you should have been called into the school to veiw the pic and to hear the teachers story and your boys story in a group setting. Odds are that no one is going to lie when both are sitting right there. I agree that the pic should not have been sent home with the boy. I think your son should be commended for actually giving it to you. Many kids would have used the opportunity to dispose of the evidence.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jul 08
Her explaination for not calling is she wanted the picture to get to me as EXPEDITIOUSLY as possible. Okay, but what about my phone call. Oh, she also said that sending the picture home gave me the FULL impact of the situation. Okay, whatever. You're all a bunch of freaks. The original was still floating around. It should have been torn up. Humph!!! Thanks for your comment.
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
2 Jul 08
omg I'd be livid.... What was he thinking? I think you should let the school board know what's going on!
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jul 08
I'm working on a brief letter now. It was a she, but the he was the one who said that there was no sense crying over spilled milk. Thanks for your comment.
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
2 Jul 08
OMFG!! I would have gone up one side of the school and down the other then do it all over again if it were me...Not only was it handled extremely poorly but to patronize you like that was WAY OUT OF LINE!! holy hell I would have completely lost my head on them..
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jul 08
LOL, that would have been the old me. I've calmed down considerably in my old age. And yes, they were TRYING to patronize me. But I was on it big time. The principal that handled it was from another school, but same school district. The one who told me not to cry over spilled milk knows me very well. I guess that's why he THOUGHT he could say that to me. But before I left, the visiting principal did apologize, even if she didn't mean it. I'm still not done cause they had the original COLOR photo in an envelope after I asked for a black/white copy to use in my defense when I take it a step further. When she first came in to meet me and opened up the envelope that they had sealed for her....there was a suspension notice in there for another child and the photo was about to be sent home to someone not even involved at all. They should have torn the original up after they felt they needed to make color copies to send home. Thank you so much for commenting.
• United States
2 Jul 08
Yeah I agree with you! The picture should not have been sent home, it should not have left the principals officw once it got there. They should defeniatly have called you and told you of the situation. Returning that kind of picture to you son was defeniatly stupid and not at all the right call! And I thought it was very disrespectful what the administrator said to you!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jul 08
And to think that this kind of thought process is in charge of our children. Heaven help us all!!!! Thanks for your comment.
• United States
2 Jul 08
OMG! i would be flipping out. i think you handled it alot better then i would have. i would have expected them to keep the boy in the princibles office,called you and then waited for you to get there. sat and had a confence and figured out a punishment. OR getitng down to the truth. because if your son really wasnt the one passing it wround he shouldnt get into trouble for what other kids were doing... How old is your son anyways?... i think they should have taken that paper, and if the insisted you see it. had you come up there. not send it home with him. i thin thats outrageous. thats grpahic material not for kids... here in my state. the kids and every other kid invvolved would have been suspended.
• United States
2 Jul 08
Yeah, it's unbelievable! And to think this same principal called me earlier in the day at 8:24 a.m. to inform me that my son had a confrontation on the bus and that he was suspended for the next three days off of the bus, but not from school. You picked up the phone in the morning, certainly you could have picked it up again in the late afternoon. My son is eleven and he's no angel, but I do know him better than he can know himself at this point. Thanks for the comment.
• United States
1 Jul 08
If he got caught with a photo like that she should have kept it in her office and called you for a meeting to talk about the situation. Not send it home with the child. As far as the pictures I think every little boy gets there hands on something like this at some point. I would be talking to him. Give punishment as you see fit. I would be mad to. It seems now days the school calls for petty things but when its something important they over look it because they do not want to deal with it.
• United States
2 Jul 08
I believe my son's only offense was accepting the photo from the other little boy. He thought he was doing a good deed by turning it in. At least that is what he told me. He's a child and still has a lot to learn. But the adults with poor judgement are in charge of my child, Lord help us all. Thanks for commenting.
@sedel1027 (17868)
• United States
1 Jul 08
I believe that situation was handled very poorly. If they had caught your son passing it around - or even having it in his possession at school - they should not have sent the picture home. You should have been called immediately to go to the school and handle the situation.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jul 08
My point exactly, but they acted like I was in the wrong for coming up there wasting their time. Humph!!! Thanks for your comment.
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
2 Jul 08
i think the principal is handling teh situation in a very poor way... what you say is right... if he lets your son to take the picture with him home, he can show it to more people and more damage will be done... in my time, if i make a mistake in the school, the teacher will call my parents to come and discuss it... i think that's whay they should do instead of letting your son brings the picture home... i hope the situation can be fixed in a nice way... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@elenahap (104)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
3 Jul 08
They shouldn'ave given the pic to your son to bring it home by himself.He could even throw the envelope away, or open it and hide the pic, or give it around... They should call you and explain you the situation, or send it by post, or call you at the office and tell you about the whole thing, and if you requested proof, then they could show you the pic there. Imagine if you would open the envelope in a public place and take out the pic...since you did not know what the envelope has inside.
• United States
3 Jul 08
Exactly. That was my whole problem. I don't know if you've read all the post but I had written a response on the note/picture that I wanted her to see. They had sealed it up in an envelope and gave it to her. But when she opened the envelope that they gave her, it wasn't the note/picture, but a suspension notice going home to another parent. She rushed out of our meeting and retrieved the right envelope from the receptionist. Look at how disasterous that could have been if she had not caught the error. Idiots!!!! Thanks for your comment.
@academic2 (7011)
• Uganda
3 Aug 08
What was the essence of sending it home to you anyway? The best would have been to call you to office and present the evvidence-it was a very stupid management of a case that could hve been solved in some other better way! Am sorry for getting struck by the entire "Glory" in the picture! LOL!
@deebomb (15347)
• United States
21 Jul 08
Boy I'm with you. The principle should have called you to the school. She had no business sending the pic home with your son. Sometimes these people got no brains. What was her guarantee that your son could bring the pic home even if you were to sign it? It should never been put back into your son's hands for any reason. Sometimes some of these educators think that parents are so dumb. I think you did the right thing. I would have handled it just as you did.
@Hatley (157975)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Jul 08
thegyfted1 hi my son did practically the same thing ,he was nine and found a playbog magazine and tried to sell the pictures to his classmates. the principal in the private school called us and asked us to talk to him, turns out we were more upset about the magazine than he was. he was upset because myson and some other kids had set fireworks off at thefair grounds where his private school was. seems there is an city ordinance about shooting off fireworks at the firegrounds so we really reprimanded our son for that, and also for the playboy magazine.