How many of you know a kill joy?

@AmbiePam (49884)
United States
July 4, 2008 6:15am CST
I guess I could have said a joy killer, but I always hear them called as kill joys. You know, when you have good news or someone says something happened really exciting and that one person has to say something negative or rude? Kind of like if someone is happy, they want to make them less happy so they will be as miserable as they are. It's kind of sad to me. Wouldn't it be better to be happy for people than want to constantly rain on their parade? Hey, we all don't have to be super happy, but why would people want to be deliberately rude or negative? Makes me think how unhappy they are, and I wonder if they know it makes people feel sorry for them. Of course some people just get mad at kill joys, but I rather feel sorry for them.
5 people like this
20 responses
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I have met a few of those myself. Unfortunately there is one lady like that at my church. If you ever talk to her about anything she will listen for a minute or two then she always turns the subject to she, her family and all about them. I know her family and they are very sweet people but she can't let anything be said without bringing all of them up and all the accomplishments that they have made. I just listen and let her talk whenever we come in contact. I may have not totally responded correctly hon. Sorry about that.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
4 Jul 08
You're answer fits just fine. I know what you mean, some people try to take the focus onto themselves and their family when that wasn't the point of the conversation. : )
@Tianna2 (1274)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I think theres at least one in every crowd. I think that somehow it makes them feel better to belittle everyone around them. Instead of being happy for you they become jeolous and try to find a way to rain on your parade so in a twisted way they can feel better. I kind of feel sorry for them to, but there's nothing I can do to help them. Hugs, Tianna
2 people like this
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I know a few people who are like that. My mom can be that way too, especially if she is having a "bad day". Her bipolar makes her moods go up and down. Some days everything is bad and some days everything is good.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
5 Jul 08
Yeah, having bipolar is tough. Even with my medication I sometimes have moods that go up and down so fast I could make myself dizzy. Knowing that, I really try to keep a handle on my words since sometimes I don't think I realize how low some of my moods have gone.
1 person likes this
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I didn't realize you had bipolar. You always seem to be so happy. I have depression so my moods are just bad, lol. I have to take my meds. If I stop I have go back on them pretty quick. Mom has some other mental health problems too that contribute to her mood.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I'm glad I come across as happy! The truth is I have to pull myself up every day to cope. I'm not happy, but I'm learning to be content. : ) I'm getting lot better about finding the joy even in the bad, but I have a ways to go. I'm sorry your mom has so much trouble. Bipolar is bad enough, but having more than one issue of that nature has got to be even more of a challenge.
• Canada
5 Jul 08
I know one and all it does is make me feel sad. I feel bad for people who can't be happy for other people. Do you think it is because they feel so insecure with themselves?
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I think that must be it for most kill joys, although they never would admit it.
• United States
5 Jul 08
Uh, yeah! It's true! Kill joys are pathetic losers. It would be so great if they would put all the kill joys or joy killers onto a boat and float them out onto the ocean with just one Snickers bar to fight over. Here's my kill joy experience of the day. I started a pretty cool discussion earlier about American inventions. And granted, I was relying on a third party source for my info, as I didn't have more than ten minutes to research and post. My heart was in the right place. But the purpose was to inspire American pride for Independence day. Instead a kill joy showed up and rained on the parade and nitpicked my entire list! And, no matter what I'd say, they had a quick come back response. What a loser! Eventually, I asked them why they were working so hard to convince me that I was wrong. I guess they were acting a kill joy cause they were drunk and got online posting and just wanted to stir up some trouble and be a jerk. Good job! They succeeded. There were two visitors from other non-US countries who were very polite and tried to wish us all a happy 4th of July. I thought that was very considerate. I have since abandoned the post as I don't want to put up with any more verbal abuse over the inconsistencies of my list. Thanks for the chance to talk about one of my biggest pet peeves: kill joys! I wish that I could give you a best response for this discussion, cause it's so meaningful!
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I loved the line about the snickers bar! Honestly if mylot could only be screened. I just know someone is going to read my last line and say something snarky. That's OK, they won't take my joy, they just can't have it!
@Fishmomma (11467)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I sure do know them. One was on my friend list here and has been deleted from the list, as I am trying to be a better person and good friend to my entire friend list. This person made me to depressed. I had a few days that really were quite bad after reading their posts. I can understand we all have days that aren't good, but we should be happy when something good happens to our friends. Have a great weekend.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I agree. This discussion was actually prompted by a poster who answered one of my discussions. They weren't on my friend list though. I was struck by how out of the blue their doom and gloom came. It was no wonder their star was so low. They were perfectly intelligent, but not nice at all.
@NettyB (336)
• United States
4 Jul 08
My hubby is a "kill joy". I do not even like to watch tv with him, he criticizes every program.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
4 Jul 08
That's no fun...
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Yes...I know several and it seems like they love being surrounded with misery and the most important thing in their life to to try to bring other down with them. When my first book came out I had a coworker say something I thought was petty and pretty awful....I had something on my shoulder of my shirt.....Everyone had just found out that my first book was out...well I went to look at the stain or whatever and she said....don't worry, it's just from you patting yourself on the back....Well I blew up...I told her that nobody did it for me....That it took three years to write it and another three to get it on the market.....that no one had knocked on my door and said there you go.....well she has since become somewhat of a good friend and when my second book came out she actually sent me a card of congratulations!
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
4 Jul 08
She's lucky you didn't deck her!
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
4 Jul 08
I learnt that expression from my mother who loved a good time and knew several killjoys. I got to know many of them later on in life. They are the worst thing for socializing. They can destroy a conversation, break up a relationship and many other things. Personally, I walk away when one of them comes by.
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Good idea!
@GardenGerty (101780)
• United States
4 Jul 08
This is often a learned behavior, passed sometimes from one generation to another. In medieval times or even earlier it was often believed that if you bragged about your good luck or good fortune the gods or God would be jealous and would strike you with misfortune or disaster. It is like you are keeping the good things in life a secret from super beings who might move against that happiness and make you even more miserable. That is not to say that people believe that today, but that it is a social habit. Kind of like when people say that they might jinx something. I also believe that people do focus on all the bad things that have happened and that is the only way they feel comfortable. I sometimes wonder if I myself am a kill joy, but even if I have the negative thoughts, I try to keep them to myself. I know I was especially bad at that when I was feeling depressed. If I was looking seriously at the law of attraction, I would say that those thoughts attracted the bad things to me. I know this is kind of rambling. Sorry.
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
4 Jul 08
That is a good point. I imagine in the past when I've been really depressed I've probably 'popped the air out of someone else's balloon.'
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
7 Jul 08
Yes, I know of many as this.. There are also silent kill joys as well. They will pretend to be very happy for you, only when they are very jealous that you have something that they don't. These are the ones that I deal with in life. And it gives me the pits just to be around them!
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
7 Jul 08
My husband is a kill joy, I spent a fe days away form home and when I returned I was full of info I wanted to tell him and he just tells me he doesn't want ot hear about it..a total kill joy and so is my step-dad and sometimes my mom. I know a few others as well. So it is rare that a person is happy for long with my family..they are great at bursting bubbles of joy.
1 person likes this
@KarenO52 (2951)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I know a few people like that, and over time I've learned not to tell them any good news, because they will always put a negative spin on it. Now I just ask them how they're doing, and not surprisingly, they are always miserable. I think they need to be like that, and are happier that way, though that seems weird. I don't try to change their opinion anymore, because it just wastes my energy, and I can't do anything to improve their outlook anyway.
1 person likes this
@jer31558 (3683)
• United States
5 Jul 08
There is a guy that I work with that always has something wrong with his life, mostly in two areas. Either he is having trouble with his g/f or he has lost a few hundred dollars gambling....again. The trouble is that he wants everyone's advice but will listen to none of it.
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
One time my friends and I were hanging out and having a good time with a bunch of girls. Everyone was happy and laughing. One of the girls commented how men are such cheaters. I answered "What?!? Well, my ex-girlfriend dumped me for another guy!" The room suddenly fell quiet and everybody just stared at me as if to say "Why did you have to say that? Why did you have to ruin the mood?" Haha so I guess I am a killjoy!
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jul 08
The world is filled with them! They are where we work. They are in the family. They are in stores and restaurants. They are in church. These people really enjoy what they do. That is one reason I avoid people these days. I know there is always one around the corner. My family has quite a few of them.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
4 Jul 08
Oh, I know one kill joy. It's a girl who we like to hang out from our office. She can be fun at times, but boy sometimes she can say things very offensive to people and sees it as jokes. I can't stand her, the others can be so patient but I just can't stand her sometimes.
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I know a lot of people like this and its aggravating. It doesn't matter how good the news is, they find a way to burst the bubble. I don't know if they do it intentionally to make you equally as miserable, but it does seem that way, even if its not intentionally. I guess some people are just better at seeing the bright side than others!
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
4 Jul 08
Oh gosh I think that everyone knows one of them! There is always a kill joy somewhere, I think I have even been known to be one of them at times. Not on purpose though, I tend to see myself as more of a voice of reason! But I am never meaningfully like it!
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8714)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I've known a few and I don't feel sorry for them. Some people will go out of their way to belittle others.