Are you a people pleaser?
By mamacathie
@mamacathie (3928)
United States
July 5, 2008 2:52pm CST
I read an article in Today's Christian Woman and it asked that question. I took the little test and Yes, I am a people pleaser. I don't want to be one any more I want to be ME! I want to be able to do something not because I feel I have to do it but because I want to do it and serve others solely out of gratitude of all God has given me. What kind of person are you? Do you work hard to please other people or do your spend your time pleasing yourself? It is not wrong to love yourself because God's greatest command is to love your neighbor as yourself. Wow! that was an eye opener and I have read that verse for so many years and it hadn't hit me until today! What are your thoughts? God bless you!
1 person likes this
9 responses
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
6 Jul 08
I used to be and to my detriment. People walked all over me. I finally realized what I was doing and worked very hard to correct it. Sometimes I still backslide but I'm doing very well and I stick up for myself!
2 people like this
@mamacathie (3928)
• United States
6 Jul 08
wow! what is your secret? I let people walk all over me and I am totally tired of it but don't know how to change. What are your suggestions. You can pm me if you wish.
God bless and thanks for your post.
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
6 Jul 08
You want to please because peoples' opinion of you is what makes you think well of yourself. If people don't approve of you and like you, you're miserable. You have to reach a point where you accept yourself for what you are--you have a family that loves you and God loves you and if nobody else does, that's their loss. Tough luck!
You have to stop caring what people think. Care only about what your family thinks. You'll find yourself with real friends who care about your feelings and appreciate you for who you are. Your family will respect you more, too.
Start working on this!!
2 people like this
@Hayley_N (525)
• Argentina
5 Jul 08
It is very hard for me to say "no", I try very hard not to disappoint my friends or people in general. I feel that I always give more than I receive--that's what friends are for. I have no problems with compromise as long as all parties are happy.
2 people like this
@mamacathie (3928)
• United States
5 Jul 08
Yup me too. I cannot say "no" to anyone no matter if I am booked up or not. Thanks for posting and God bless you!
1 person likes this
@celestial052506 (2914)
• Philippines
6 Jul 08
Well, I am not actually a people pleaser but I must see to it that the person I am in contact with will not be disappointed with me.
I am not really a trying to please people because no matter what you do you can not please everybody. I am just in my natural way of letting people know that I care and that I would help they needed it not to please them but just a motive of helping not pleasing them. I think, the word people pleaser is like you are trying hard to please people.. no.. no.. you will disappointed because you can not please everybody.
@1richgirl (126)
• United States
6 Jul 08
I used to try to rescue everyone. I learned that this is not service but crippling to the person. I believe we should try to please Heavenly Father- I also love the story of Mary and Martha . The more you reflect on the story the more your understanding grows about service, priorities etc !! I read that verse as you should care for your neigbor at least as much as you care for yourself. The quakers have a belief that you should never acquire a luxury until your neighbor has all the neccessities. There is a lot of balance needed in this area!
1 person likes this
@Ambitiouz (200)
• United States
6 Jul 08
I used to be a people pleaser for a very long time. I was very shy and quiet so I did it because I intially thought it would mean that I would be liked and have more friends. Yes, I was nice and some people tend to take advantage and use you as a door mat. I've been that way since I was little. But I've learned that I can please everyone and somebody will always have a problem with you for no particular reason. I care about people but I no longer allow myself to worry about whether they are pleased with my. There are too many other things in life to worry about.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
6 Jul 08
Yes I am a people pleaser but to a degree. I used to be one all the way no matter what but that's changed a great deal now that I'm older. However, I will try my best to do a good deed for another as long as it doesn't hurt someone else. I love to please people and don't like to hurt them or others while pleaseing one. Make sense?
@gamgee (116)
• Philippines
5 Jul 08
I dont think that I am, because in most of the things that I do, I always see to it, that Im doing it because, I like to, and not because others want me to. But there are times when I cant say 'no' or 'enough' because I know that Im going to hurt the person. So maybe Im just a tolerant person, or maybe Im apathetic, now you got me confused! lol Well, Im not a people pleaser, at least not to all the people, but I would like to really please the people who are important to me.
1 person likes this
@1337speak (170)
• Philippines
6 Jul 08
I work hard to please other people... and having pleased other people, I feel that I am someone of worth in this world. I've made someone smile. Not that I need to please others to elevate my self-worth, it's just that I'm happy when they're happy.
I'd like to stress out that it's different when you please some people around you (those who matter) and when you please everyone around you. Pleasing others is fine; pleasing everybody is trying to be everyone's slave.
1 person likes this
