Woe is me.. and other annoying discussion topics

@dizzblnd (3073)
United States
July 6, 2008 9:17pm CST
I have come across a lot of these types of posts where it seems that the poster is looking for sympathy.. "I'm ugly, I'm fat, "how can anyone ever love me" I don't usually respond to the posts as it seems that all some of these people are doing is whining. A lot of them don't ask for advice... they just want to hear someone have pity on them. Don't get me wrong, I am a VERY sympathetic person, I am the shoulder everyone cries on.. I genuinely care about people. Please don't thing I am being callous or cruel Do you answer these types of posts.. or ignore them?
6 people like this
26 responses
• United States
7 Jul 08
Depends on my mood for that day but Ill usually respond if I am feeling talkative and refrain if I am just checking in for a minute and just leave it alone. I think there is a group of posters that use the computer to have someone to confide in them and thats their comfort where as others us other means like eating or reading a book or exercise, guess its the same idea not really sure. But if I feel the person is genuine and not trying to stir up negativity then I dont mind offering my sympathy. You can usually tell the ones who are going to take your opinion to heart and take something out of it and the others that are not interested in listening but hearing themselves.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I DID reply to one post who said she was thinking about taking her life. That always gets me.. but things like I mentioned, I will not respond if I see the original poster has not replied back to their respondents.. that is how you can tell they just want someone to join them in their pity party.
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5486)
• United States
7 Jul 08
For the most part I ignore those discussions. I'm like you, they are just looking for sympathy, and I figure they really don't want opinions of what to do if they don't even take the time to reply back to the ones that take the time to post to their discussions. I would rather be a part of 'upbeat' discussions, there are so many people that use the internet just to get sympathy, or to stir up drama, or complain about all the drama in their life. If someone honestly has a problem and states the problem and asks for advice or help with it then I'll be more than happy to help out if I feel I have something to add.
1 person likes this
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
You must be my twin! These are my thoughts exactly! Thank you for wording it the way I wanted it to come out
• United States
7 Jul 08
I mostly ignore them, especially if they seem to do it a lot.
1 person likes this
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I can sometimes see a pattern. All of these types of discussions are not posted by my mylot friends.. so it is hard to see a specific pattern in a person
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jul 08
No! I don't answer. In fact, I rarely notice them. I just sort of read the headline and if it sounds anything like what you mentioned, then I don't check out the discussion.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
7 Jul 08
yep... I read the headline and the first sentence.. then I open it to see if anyone has responded and what, if anything the OP has posted in reply
1 person likes this
@guybrush (4661)
• Australia
7 Jul 08
I'd probably give sympathy initially and try to cheer the person up - but if I noticed the person was a 'serial offender' and kept posting the same sort of thing, I'd probably end up ignoring them. If they just wanted to wallow in their own misery, I'd leave them to it. I think you'd get to know that sort of person after a while.
1 person likes this
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I know people like that off-line too.. try to be sympathetic, then they go crying to the next person that will listen l;ike I never talked to them at all. Its sad really
@dragon54u (31605)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I try to help if I think the person genuinely wants to solve their problem. Funny, you're my second friend today who has commented on the negativity of discussions today. Maybe the heat is getting to everyone, it's starting to be a hot and muggy summer.
1 person likes this
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I think it is the heat! I am very cranky lately
• Canada
7 Jul 08
If I don't think that something is worth responding to, I just ignore it. People are always going o post crap like tha. I really can' give sympathy to an almost-total-stranger, beccause I really wouldn't know what to say to them.
1 person likes this
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I can give sympathy to a total stranger if they are deserving of it. But I am like you.. if I know its gonna cause cr@p.. then I'll stay out of it and find happier people to talk to, like you
1 person likes this
@newtondak (3950)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I do not respond to them. I do not feel that those kind of discussions were what was intended when they developed this site and I don't understand why people think they should get paid for discussions of that kind.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
Now that is one aspect that I didn't think about.. that they get paid for these types of discussions
@newtondak (3950)
• United States
9 Jul 08
It does irritate me that they get paid for them. I always think that if they spent a little more time thinking of intellectual discussions to start - well, they might have less time to feel sorry for themselves.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
You are very wise indeed! Another great point!
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
7 Jul 08
Hi dizzblnd, I have not encountered those topics but if ever I will, I do know if I will be dropping my responses, not unless if they are seeking for an advice..LOL!
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
No sense in wasting your energy for people who do not seem to want to help themselves.
• United States
9 Jul 08
I agree but sometimes, people are too weak and sensitive and need words of wisdom from anyone or motivation!
@irishidid (8535)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I ignore them only because I know my sarcastic side will prevail. LOL
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I have become rather selective of the discussions I respond to, as the whole discussion can become deleted and we also want to generate more conversation, not less!
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
7 Jul 08
It is kinda tricky to figure out if what you are responding to will get deleted or not, so like you I try to avoid controversial type discussions all together
1 person likes this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
7 Jul 08
That is a good idea! I try to follow your example on that issue!
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
8 Jul 08
It depends on the post and the emotions I sense behind it. Sometimes people need a good whine. I know I do now and then. If they make a habit out of it I may try and perk them up a bit. If someone sounds seriously depressed I will lend an "ear" and see if I can help. Now, for those who start multiple posts complaining about the same issue, I have no patience for that. Complain, and move on. LOL
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
lol... "nothing to see here folks.. move along" That would be a good response to theses types of post.. thank you for the idea :)
• United States
8 Jul 08
You answer them because even if they're not coming right out and asking for advice: they really are.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
If you feel tehey are deserving of your time and energy and you feel you might make a difference, by all means.. answer.. after a while.. you will see a pattern and might think differently. Welcome to mylot I hope you have fun here :)
@yenwie84 (1345)
• Malaysia
8 Jul 08
I will respond to this types of discussions depend on how he/she expresses the feelings. I will see whether it's real to deserve my sympathy or not. If the person write a long description and it seems real then of course I will respond to it. Everyone is looking forward to be responded by others,if can make others happy, I think is not a big deal for me.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
If it is a heartfelt discussion asking for advice and not a whiner.. I, too ,will answer. I have a caring personality as well with a generous helpful manner.
• United States
8 Jul 08
Some of them I will answer but if I see a pattern then I will just blow it off as them trying way too hard to get attention. That is happening right now and I just wish that person would grow up already. The point has been proven and they just need to move on.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
Some of these types of discussions do seem to be started by immature people.. either teenagers.. or adults who don't realize they are not teens anymore. The attention they seek is very sad
• United States
7 Jul 08
Thankfully, I have yet to see those kinds of discussions here on myLot.. maybe I just didn't choose the interests they like to post in. But even if I did see them, I would ignore them. They're seeking attention and validation- and through the internet, which is sort of sad. I could be more understanding if the person was seeking advice on, say, how to use beauty products/fashion tips on how to look better/how to lose weight or tone up... that sort of thing. But just whining is annoying.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
Yes.. these types of discussions remind me of a 4 year old throwing a temper tantrum. The legitimate, "What can I do to improve my self esteem" is fine.. its when they start with "everybody hates me", and "why am I so unloved" that drive me crazy
@kerriannc (4281)
• Jamaica
7 Jul 08
Hello dizzblnd, there are persons who lack self esteem and because of this they are unable to have a decent conversation without involving themselves in the negative way. There are person who live with their significant others who tends to put them down and in doing this they are unable to move away from this. We need to not sympathize but instead counsel those persons who are putting themselve in a hole. Sometimes when we are blunt and truthful it will be hurtful but still this will make this person see the damage that they are doing and eventually wake up out of their slumber. Having self esteem is wonderful but thinking negativeness can get you sick and depress each day of your life.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
The self esteem issue is a big problem.. but posting "I'm so fat" discussions.. just to have people you don't even know say "you are not fat" irks me. These people don't/won't help themselves. Why should we give our energy to them only to be drained by that person because they found someone they can continue to whine to, all the while doing nothing to help themselves (an assumption I probably shouldn't make.. but oh well) Being negative is a HUGE part of the low self esteem.. if people would just learn to think positive thoughts each and every day the universe will respond accordingly.
@Hatley (164671)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Jul 08
dizzblnd sometimes I do if the person seems to be genuinely'looking for some help but if its a pity party no I just go past for something I am interested in. I like to help others but do not like to be just dumped on for no other reason than somebodys rant for the day. I could rant all day myself but prefer to fight my own battles instead.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
LOL I like ranting... I just try not to do it here when I can help it. There are many other things to talk about. I like to help others too.. but not at the expense of my energy.. I need that for my own battles too.
@1337speak (170)
• Philippines
7 Jul 08
Based on what I learned on college, it is best to ignore these types of individuals. Replying to these types of posts only encourage them to post some more of the same type of discussions, and I don't think a lot of us from MyLot would like these types of close-ended discussions flooding the system. I'm not being mean to them and I do understand their pain, but everyone has their own problems. I suggest these people quit whining, move on, and ask for help. The friendly MyLot community would be more than happy to do so.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
I am glad to hear you learned something in college... I find it best to ignore them too... they do nothing but drain ones energy
@cher913 (25893)
• Canada
7 Jul 08
i do answer them if i feel i know something about the topic and i only answer those ones. this is because sometimes i will ask questions (because mylot is so varied and the people come from all walks of life) it is good to get other people's opinions.
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
9 Jul 08
Asking questions to get advice is one thing.. but posting a discussion to have a pity party for ones self is a whole other thing. I ask advice on things a lot, only after I have exhausted most all other options to figure out my problem. As for the irritating discussions.. these are ones that are created just to stir up sh!t.. those I will not answer