Perpetuating ignorance and anger.

@II2aTee (2560)
United States
July 8, 2008 10:27am CST
I have learned, with no small help from MyLot, that EVERYONE has subjects that they are sensitive about, and EVERYONE is discriminated against for something. I see discussions where people are upset because there are Christians here who preach the word of God at every turn. Then I see those same people say discriminate Christians and say they are brainless drones. I see people say that homosexuality is immoral. Then I see they make discussions about how they are unhappy in thier marriage and having an affair. Divorcees preaching the sancity of marriage, and the gay right activists verbally attacking people who want the traditional deffinition of marriage to remain unchanged. All of this, over opinions. Opinions! We need to realize that EVERYONE has issues that are very near and dear to our hearts, and it hurts when people attack us for those values. The best example I can give is last year I attended a 3-day diversity worskshop. Has anyone here heard of NCBI? Fantastic organization. By the end of the workshop all 20 of us had realized how different we are - but most importantly, how alike we are. My boss was there. He is a white collar, middle aged republican. Shirt and tie every day. Very conservative. The facilitators asked everyone to share a way we have been discriminated against. What could this man possibly be discriminated against I wondered? Hes an upper middle class white male. Manager. College educated and always had a nice home and a good life. He stood up and said that he actually has had to defend himself because of one thing. He and his wife had been married for 20 years and never had children. It hit me like bricks. Yeah - I can see that. Imagine the questions his friends and family asked him. He said he has met people who assume he or his wife are incapable of having kids. Some people might assume they dont LIKE kids. Neither of which is true, they simply never decided to have children. But in todays society, if you are married - you BETTER have kids too, or else something MUST be wrong. Lesson learned - EVERYONE, and I mean everyone - no matter what race, religion, creed, upbringing or lifestyle - EVERYONE is discriminated against. I would like to see more people on MyLot -THINK- about what they say before posting. You may have a special opinion on an issue, but that issue may be very sensitive and personal for other people, and we all know from elementary school that words hurt more than fists. Lets stop perpetuating the unrest.
4 people like this
7 responses
@myklj999 (16711)
8 Jul 08
As always Tee, another well thought well worded discussion about a relevant issue. I'm probably fairly guilty of totally stomping on people with words at times, but that's just the way I am anymore.It doesn't make me right, but it makes me me if you get my meaning. I do try to consider other people and how they feel up to a point, but once that point is reached... (Side note here-I just trimmed my friend list from 172 to 45. Discussions such as this is why you survived when others didn't. )
1 person likes this
@II2aTee (2560)
• United States
8 Jul 08
That really means alot to me, considering I was always picked last for dodgball. :P And I totaly understand what you are saying. It;s human nature to want other people to see things your way. I am -slowly- learning that the trick is to show them how I feel in a way that does not invalidate their own view. You cannot change someone elses reality... and every time I have tried it only made them shut down even more.
1 person likes this
@cbreeze (1207)
• United States
8 Jul 08
Good point Tee. I think it is best to convey your feelings, beliefs and/or opinions without invalidating someone elses. We all have our reasons for believing what we believe. However, I think it is when we read an opinion that we feel invalidates ours or that steps on someone elses rights, or perpetuates harmful attitudes toward a group of people that we get emotional and respond in very a aggressive manner.
@baileycows (3669)
• United States
8 Jul 08
I do not always think it is a matter of discrimanating. Just because you hold an opinion does not mean it is discrimatory. People confuse sometimes facts with being discrimanated. I think it is great that we can bring up diverse ideas on Mylot and have them answered or see others point of view. I think that everyone should become less touchy on the subject and address the issues with knowledge rather than whining about it.
1 person likes this
@II2aTee (2560)
• United States
8 Jul 08
You brought up a good point I forget to mention untill after I hit the submit button. It's a two way street. People need to voice thier opinions (thats why MyLot is here) but in a respectfull way. It's also the responsibility of the reader to understand that other people are entitled to their opinion, and just because it does not match does not mean its discrimination.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jul 08
You are so right in this issue. People shouldn't judge others and we should all learn to appreciate and accept everyone's opinion. You don't have to agree with someone to accept that their opinion is their opinion. Very well put!
• United States
13 Jul 08
That is so true. And in other places he could be discriminated because he is white straight male and a Republican.It is so sad that people assume that if you are married you Must have children. Or to have children you Must be married.it is up to the couple. In fact I think your boss is very lucky he and his wife agree. There are times where one wants children and the other doesn't.
@fiona08 (454)
• United States
10 Jul 08
What a thought provoking discussion. I am glad I stumbled upon it. When I first started here, I was very careful to take the high road when someone offended me with their comments. Recently though, I have had a couple discussions where I felt angry enough to be disrespectful, and combative. I am very passionate about my beliefs, and human rights issues. This passion, though, is not an excuse to bash somebody who can't see things my way. I think we all need to step back, and breathe, before responding to a post we are angered by. I think it is a great idea, as someone else here said, to go do something else for a while, maybe even sleep on it, before responding. Thanks for the reminder, Tee.
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
9 Jul 08
Hi Tee, Very well written, and true of all of us. We are all discriminated against for something, and most have made unkind remarks and I include myself here. I guess we will all have to take a few minutes before responding to a discussion that upsets us, a few deep breathes too, or even sleep on it. Thanks for this. Blessings.
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
8 Jul 08
How sad yet true! I heard it last weekend at the pride day celebration: it's a jungle out there! It does not matter where you are or where you go, the basic things do not change! It must be how we say it, more than what we say, that matters!