Who handles the bucks?

@redkathy (3375)
United States
July 8, 2008 11:56am CST
My mother was a really intelligent lady. In our house, my mother handled all the finances... She was the one who answered all the "Can I Have" or "Can we afford to go" questions. My father was self employed so she had the added responsibility of the small business accounting as well. I never realized what a huge responsibility it was until I had to do the... Well I didn't have to but my husband and I agree that I am better at so I got the job. Sometimes I really hate it too because I have to be the strong one, "No we can't afford that right now". And if financial trouble is coming I have to explain that, which is the thing I hate most! So who handles the financial affairs in your family?
4 people like this
18 responses
• United States
8 Jul 08
I control are money. I pay all are bills and put some in savings. I buy the things we need for the week and give him some spending money. I am the bad guy when I tell him no we can't afford it. Sometimes he gets upset and tells me I work hard for my money I should beable to spend it and then I give him a choice food or the thing he wants to get and he backs down. He is an impulse shopper. All of are money would be gone and no bills payed if he had to do it. This works for us. He is a spender and I am a saver.
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
8 Jul 08
I've heard that one too! I have given in on things when I shouldn't have in the past. After 20+ years my husband openly admits that pushing me to a yes has a proven negative outcome. Now we discuss the issue at hand so he understand why I am saying no and he's good with it, finally!
1 person likes this
@togheee (11)
8 Jul 08
that my mom`s job.. all the finance would be her responsibility ^^
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
8 Jul 08
That's exactly what my kids, who are now adults, still say!
1 person likes this
8 Jul 08
coz im still study ^^
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
8 Jul 08
Good luck with those studies! My youngest son is almost done. Maybe this December :)
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
8 Jul 08
I'm still living at home but when I move out and me and my fiance are buying our own house we have allready agreed on me doing the finances. I handle my own finances at the time being, paying for college and other possible bills I may have and I've helped other students and other people out doing so. I'm very organized and good at saving money. Only thing that gets into my way is that I might loan too much of my money because I feel sorry for people and it takes a while to get it back; my boyfriend is better at setting boundaries and choosing for ourselves when that's neccesairy so we should do fine when working together :)
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
8 Jul 08
If you do the finances try to set up the initial financial plan together. You will be using each others strengths. That may make it less stressful on you later if times get tough because he will understand the basic plans.
2 people like this
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
8 Jul 08
That sounds like a great tip, I will keep that in mind. I feel it's important to keep discussing this issues so your partner knows where the money goes and why you make certain decissions; and some should definatly be taking together.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jul 08
taking loan is nacicary thse days if u dont all ur money fiinishes and if its at a high intrest then ur screwed
1 person likes this
@baileycows (3669)
• United States
8 Jul 08
Me and my husband have separate accounts. I have a little girl and he has a boy. So we split all the bills and do what we want with our money and each kid answers to their own parent. Works well in our family.
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
8 Jul 08
My in laws did the same thing! It worked well for them too. Hubby and I agree that we would not have made it this far if he handled the money! ;0)
1 person likes this
@tigertang (1750)
• Singapore
8 Jul 08
Well, the system is good if you one in pair is good with money. Unfortunately, neither of my parents were exactly good with money. When he was young and making pots of money, my father had a philosophy of buying things and then finding the money. As such, the home always had beautiful things and lots of signs of great wealth. However, sustaining this was not easy - this was OK, when there were plenty of jobs going around. Then when the jobs started to dry out, the debts grew and the banks became less forgiving. Unfortunately for my Dad, after my mum, he married a woman who was not exactly sharp at controlling finances too, and my uncle, his financial controller didn't realise that he had the ability to tell my Dad that he couldn't spend money like water. However, things have gotten better. My Dad's current girlfriend is very good with money and although she let's him have allot of say in how he spends his money - she ensures he does not do anything foolish. My mother is more conservative with money, but at the same time more risk averse. As such, she spends less than my Dad but for a long time she was less focused on planning for the future. Her second husband was also not very good with money and so, although our family had allot of privileges, they often fought over money. Thankfully, my mum's third husband is quite conservative with money and she lives comfortably. Ironically, mum has become very obsessed with her children planning for the future. As such, she bugs us to save regularly. Dad, on the other hand has been drilling into me that I cannot afford his mistake and outsource my personal finances. As such, I do make sure I know how much money I keep in my accounts and am trying to develop a habit to save money, no matter how broke I become.
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
8 Jul 08
I had a bit of a battle with spending and budgeting when I first took on the financial responsibility! I can still hear my mother's voice, Save some money, even if it's a dollar. You'll be old one day and really need it then." Keep on trying, you will get there!
1 person likes this
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
9 Jul 08
Creepy Face - creepy face avatar
At home when you wanted something you asked whoever you wanted and that person would always say ask your mother or ask your father depending on who you did ask. Daddy handled all the disbursements since he was the only one who earned the money. Mom was a housewife and didn't have an income. Sometimes granny would dish out a few bucks but that was it. We were poor but not really wanting and as we grew up, all seven of us, we learned to find ways to make our own money. Not a bad arrangement. Dad always used to ask us - " Do you think money grows on trees? " Or - " Look at the money tree outside! "
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
9 Jul 08
I know about the granny thing! My brother was a big "call grandma" kid LOL
@subha12 (18453)
• India
9 Jul 08
its my mom always. actually she is very good in managing money at home. she can save too. she manages it from the time i know.we were not rich but she managed it well.
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
14 Jul 08
I hope you will consult her when it comes time for you to manage finacial affairs. I bet she will have some great advice!
@fxcash (105)
• Canada
9 Jul 08
No question about it my wife handles the financial issues within our family, I would not want to have to take on the responsibility that she has done so wonderfully with. Not that I am not capable of it, but like your husband I trust her much more to make the right decisions when it comes to these sorts of things.
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
14 Jul 08
It's a tough job. Things changed a bit now that the kids are gone and we are older. Seems we discuss more, even the little things. It helps me when I know what my husband thinks. After all, we are in this together :)
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
9 Jul 08
I think in my house my hubbie would be better at handling finacnes than me. I am a look, see and buy type of person. if i want something and i have money. I buy it . I dont ask . just do it. then later i suffer for it .
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
9 Jul 08
Glad to hear that hubbie handles the money. No need for undue suffering
1 person likes this
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
9 Jul 08
Dear friend, The finance manager of our family is also mother, she handles all payments of house need bills, like electricity, water bill, paper bill, cable bill so on. I just give an amount if she requires extra. All the bills are given with money to the servant and mother checks whether all bill are correct and paid without any dues and more even taxes too are checked by mother who is a retired senior account in a government sector. Hence all our house hold expenses are handled by my mother.
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
9 Jul 08
nice to have a pro in the family I'm sure ;)
1 person likes this
@vanities (11376)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Jul 08
well i am but in situation which needs a serious decision and a lot of money involve on it..then i consult it first to my husband and vice versa...its like give and take on opinion bases..and it works that way in our home..
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
9 Jul 08
Sharing takes the stress off of you I am sure.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
8 Jul 08
In my household I handle the money - even for my partner although we aren't married. He has no concept of handling money unfortunately. I actually handle all the household issues, not just money. Any decision about purchases etc I handle. Otherwise he would be out buying everything in sight. LOL
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
8 Jul 08
Sounds familiar LOL
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5518)
• United States
8 Jul 08
When my husband and I first joined out accounts I took care of the finances. He was normally right next to me and I would tell him what I was doing. Then it got to the point where I did it all myself which was no problem. We had some financial trouble when I was off work because of having my daughter. He thought it was okay to spend money. He didn't understand that the money we had was for bills NOTHING else! So I handed it over to him. I said here is the bill book - the check book - HAVE AT IT! After the first month he asked me how I did it. I explained it all to him. It really helped because he could see that there wasn't extra money. So he spent just what had to be spent. Once I got back to work 9 months later. Our finances went back to okay. We caught ourselfs up on every thing. Now that we actually make enough money to pay our bills we have a new system. We both take care of the bills now. We know when things are due and who ever has the time to take care of it does. We do every Sat. night look at every thing together. And we rebudget when needed. We have 2 bank accounts wants and needs. The need account is for bills, food, gas. The want account is for what ever we want clothes, shoes, toys for our daguhter. We know that we have to put X amount in the need account every month to pay our bills. We have budgeted $150 for food and $100 for gas any thing above that comes from the want account. (example numbers) So out of each of my pays comes $600.00 (I get by weekly paid) and each of his checks comes $300. Anything above the $600 out of my check or the $300 in his check goes into the want account. So if his check is only $350 then we only get $50 for wants. We also have a savings account for each person in our family of 5. Each of the 3 kids gets $5 a week and we get $25 a week to go into savings. Once in savings its like it was spent. NO one knows we have this savings account. It is for our future. If some thing comes up now that needs to be fixed or we want to go on vactaion we have to save seperatly for that. With price increases we may bring our savings down a bit for a while. Maybe $3 per kid and $15 for us. The kids have NO idea we are doing this for them. They will get the money once IN college if they choose not to go - we keep the money. Thats a fair deal I think. I remember being the one that blew money like crazy now I am thrifty and I save as much as I can. Thank the person that taught me about clearance! Last thing we do is save all our change. Any change we have goes in the jar and it gets spent on vacations or the laundry mat every once in a while LOL. So thats how our financial affairs are handled.
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
8 Jul 08
Someone taught you well. LOL Savings plan is great, I am doing the same for us. I charged the kids for gas and rent when they were teens and gave it back when the graduated! College is a killer so planning early is the best thing you can do. Good luck and keep up doing it together, it's way less stressful!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jul 08
Well, he does most of the working and brings in most of the money, but surprisingly I help manage the bulk of the money. I can't control the amount we spend on groceries and such cause he buys those from a list that I make up. But I guess that I could give him less money to buy groceries. That would work. After many years of desperate financial times, my spouse and I are definitely on the same page when it comes to saving money. We don't try to buy anything we don't really need. At least until we have the extra money to do so. He doesn't make impulse purchases. But does on occasion buy a few DVDs at the pawn shop when he goes to pay the electric bill. I like to think of it as his one and only perk or benefit! He used to eat lots of chocolates, but has cut out most of that, except for the occasional snack. He has done really good. On the other hand, sometimes, I'm tempted by Ebay and then we have a serious talk about whether or not we need the item. It's good that you and your husband have and understanding about money. It's really hard when two people are pulling in the opposite direction on the money issue. Lots of tears can be shed over that issue! Best of luck. Beauty Queen
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jul 08
Its really a consensus here. At the beginning of the month we usually have a regular monthly budget and my hubby hands over the money for the entire month’s expense to me. Now its upto me as to what I put on the table at dinner and how many times we can afford to eat out. I also succeed in saving a small amount each month which goes to our petty cash…this is for unexpected expenses (like the doctor, or a wedding gift etc). Other than that if there are some major expenses to be incurred, we usually discuss and plan.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jul 08
I'm the primary financial person in our house. My husband's checkbook, before we got married, scared me! lol I'm a former banker, have had my own checking account since I was 16 and have ALWAYS balanced my checkbook each month, saved for a rainy day, etc. I, too, handle our bookeeping for our multiple home-based businesses. It does get very very hard because I'm the one who stresses over not having enough money to pay bills. My husband just doesn't seem to worry about it even though we talk about where we're at and he knows exactly what we have (or rather DON'T have). I dread payday (he works a fulltime job also) because I know I'm going to be stressed about how we're going to pay everything. I've become a good "juggler" too.
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
14 Jul 08
My husbands worries and I try not to stress, but is is so hard. My faith has helped so much. As for the juggle, my husband says I am "The Queen"! (that's how he bought all that stuff back in the day)I can't say that I always saved for a rainy day, but will give myself credit because I learned that hard lesson and do so now :)
• United States
14 Jul 08
My faith is the only way I can manage it as well. I know many times God has somehow paid the bills when it doesn't add up on paper. The way I shop helps alot. I've been tracking my July grocery spending - just realized that in 7 trips to the store so far, between coupons, sales & mystery shopping, I've actually been PAID over $15 to take $200 worth of groceries!!! WOW! I knew I was getting some good deals, but that was even beyond my comprehension! I'm a happy girl today! (well, until I go to pay bills tonight!)
@moneyandgc (3430)
• United States
10 Jul 08
I do all the finance stuff in my family. My husband is not good at it at all! He had us really in debt when he was in charge. I took over about a year ago now and things have been running much smoother! I only wish we had made the switch earlier.
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
14 Jul 08
Could it be that the old saying about men and needing a mom applies? I had similar experiences with the debt!
@ebhjboo (121)
• United States
9 Jul 08
I handle the finances. Hubby is not the best with money and has difficulty in the past before we were married paying bills before he spent all of his money. But I agree with you, I hate having to the the one to yell at him when his spending is getting out of control or tell him we can't afford something he wants. As a matter of fact, we just had that discussion/argument last night. But he is supportive and tells me that although he gets frustrated with me yelling at him all the time about money he understands that I'm the one responsible to make sure that the bills are paid and we are paying off our debts and putting some away in savings.
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
9 Jul 08
In my first marriage of 19 years I handled all of the finances. I am remarried now and my second husband handles all the finances. And I really like it. It's so freeing. If I need or want something, I'll tell him and we work it into the budget. I just like not having to deal with bills every other week.