Did you ever consider putting your own child in adoption?

@ayessa (1586)
Philippines
July 9, 2008 1:31am CST
I know manny will raise eyebrow in this but let me state first the situation. You are mother of 6 kids the eldest was 13 and the youngest was 1 1/2yrs old. Then you just again gave birth to a twins. Now, your husband does have work but the salary he has is not enough for the family and then your husband has another child to his mistress that he also needs to support. You as wife does not work cause no one will look for the kids. All your kids were studying aside from the twins and the 1 1/2yrs old. There are times that your kids skip meals due to lack of money to buy food. All of them were malnourished including the newborn. Now will you put any of the children into adoption? so that they will have a good life to those other who wanted to have child? OR you will not? Why?
4 people like this
12 responses
@baileycows (3669)
• United States
9 Jul 08
I don't think so. There are plenty of food stamps and WIC and other options. I do not see how one could not get buy unless the parents are addicts to something. They may not have the best home life and may struggle, but I think after the 6th one I would have gotten my tubes tied.
3 people like this
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
That's a good point but what if you really have nothing to feed to your child and you're not an addict? Anyway, may not really have experienced it nor see those kinds of situation that's why you don't understand. !thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@nishdan01 (3055)
• Singapore
9 Jul 08
I think the family needs help. It is the duty of government, hospital or local authorities to help them. Help them is not in the sense of providing food and money. But to do family planing. You know that the burden of a single family is the burden of society and the nation itself. It is better to plan for few kids and make them grow well within their financial boundaries. Suppose if everyone thought the same way as their parents any country wouldn,t have developed. Take the case of China. Too much population and now the country forces one child policy. It is important to educate people so that they would'nt see harder days ahead in terms of finance and decision making.
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
You right that its a governments duty but you know that here in our country even there is a family planning program some families does not care about that.
2 people like this
@Tianna2 (1274)
• United States
9 Jul 08
If I couldnt afford to feed the kids, I would put them up for adoption without hesitation. I know how hard this is for the parents but they have to think of the children and please ask them to stop having more kids. 9 years ago /i put my daughter up for adoption because I was in no position to take care of her at that time so I know how hard it can be. If you cant care for your child the way it deserves to be cared for, adoption is the only answer!! Hugs, Tianna
2 people like this
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
I also have that kind of mentality as you have. That must be one of your hardest days when you decide to put your child in adoption. Thanks for responding!
3 people like this
@Tianna2 (1274)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Yes it was very hard but I never regretted it. I know she has a better life then I could have ever provided for her. Thank you for the best response, Tianna
1 person likes this
@Hatley (157768)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Jul 08
ayessa my answer to this whole thing is do not have more children than you can afford to feed, use birth control and do not get into such a situation. i as a tax payer do not want to have to pay the money it costs for welfare for afamily that never planned their family at all. and have a child every year so they can stay on welfare forever. In todays tough financail situation we are fools if we try to raise a large family if we do not have the funds, its not fair to the kids or to other people. use birth control and plan.
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
That's a good point but not all believe on birth control nor they can't afford to buy some. Not all nations give it for free.
@irishidid (8119)
• United States
9 Jul 08
You do what is best for the children. As hard as it may be. This is only after you have exhausted all other options. The man's first obligation is to the his children in the marriage.
2 people like this
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
That's really true. Thanks for sharing!
• United States
10 Jul 08
No raised eyebrow here. I was only 19 when I got pregnant with my now nine year old daughter. I had just finished high school, began college, and had a good job. Though she was not planned, she is my blessing. For almost my entire pregnancy, I had planned to give her to a loving and very financial stable couple. I was sure that she would be happier and have more opportunities than I could give her. Now, I couldn't imagine letting go of her or any of my future children. She is my joy and my life. I love what I see when I look her and I love the affect that I have on her. She looks at me with such trust and sometimes I think she understands me the most. God know what he was doing and I prayed about giving her up. I'm glad she's here and I'm glad she's with me.
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
That was a toughing story thanks for sharing and goodluck to you and your daughter.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 08
Thanks for starting a good new discussion. I think some stories need to be told so that other people gain strength.
@avidwhit (1492)
• Mexico
9 Jul 08
I have a brother one year older that my mother put up for adoption when he was born. his adopting parents where a Banker and a doctor. He later in life graduated with a degree in accounting and is happly married with two children. I on the other hand had all the love love from my real mom. never enough cash to go to college and am almost forty with out a happy marriage and no education. i perssonally dont think that adoption is a bad thing as long as the kid is going to a family with love and material to share. :)
1 person likes this
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
That was such a nice input coming from one who has experience in adoption. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@avidwhit (1492)
• Mexico
11 Jul 08
Thanks only speeking from experience. :)
• United States
6 Aug 08
First, I would leave the father! Second, I would learn to do it on my own. I am a single mother. I work full time and go to school full time. I think you can do it too! Anything is possible, as long as you want it. I think your children would rather be with you then eat every meal. In the long run it will make you and them stronger and they will still have their mother. If you cant do that, then yes put them up for adoption.
1 person likes this
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
That was such a good point but I wasn't the one in this story I am very much happy with my husband. So you are a single mom. Im glad that you are brave enough to raise your child. Im sure your child will be more proud of you when he grew up and saw the hardship you'd have for him. Goodluck!
• United States
12 Jul 08
No, I wouldn't. There is WIC, food stamps, AngelFood Ministries and more to help with food. Plus, there is contraception, which would prevent facing that question in the first place. As for the husband, if he had a mistress, he wouldn't have me.
1 person likes this
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
But what if you are in that situation already? What will be your options? And there's no WIC, food stamps and whatsoever?
@tammytwo (4305)
• United States
10 Jul 08
First I would leave the husband because he has a mistress and another child. Then I would do what I had to do to support those kids. I would get state's assistance if I had to until I could get on my own two feet. I would attend college and make a life for me and the kids.
1 person likes this
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
I wish our country also has that kind of program but unfortunately we don't have state assistance.
12 Jul 08
I don't think I could give up one of my kids, no matter how many I had. There is so many govenment programs that can help. I personal have 4 kids and yes that is all. My husband got himself fixed so we could not have any more kids.
1 person likes this
@ynigz1 (472)
• China
10 Jul 08
Oh, it's really a difficult time. But although about those reasons I just not want to put my own child in adopting. I see a lot a TV program for some family loose there child or give their child to others before. They are missing their child very much, and want to see their child again. It's really hard to find their child again, once find, whether the child still think they are parents?
1 person likes this