14 yr old kid is in love with a 38 year old man?is this a puppy love or real lov

@dorothy09 (1520)
Philippines
July 9, 2008 7:49am CST
Ive known a 14 year old kid her boyfriend is a 38 year old man..she is more than twice the age of her lover.. His friends are very opposed with the relationship because they look so awkward..but they always insist that they love each other and no one can stop them... The 38 old guy said she is willing to wait for the 14 yr. old kid..?? would you believe that he can wait? or he is just trying to take advantage of the 14 year old kid.. I think the kid feels just infatuation or a puppy love and nothing serious..but when you look at them you can feel that they are serious with their relationship.. Do you think they will last?
17 people like this
51 responses
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
9 Jul 08
Where the heck are the parents of this 14 year old girl? They need to be kicking this 38 year old child predator to the curb, fast. A fourteen year old is not old enough to know real love yet. That takes a bit more maturity and the man at his age should know this.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
9 Jul 08
yes one must ask where are the parents, probably busy telling everyone who will listen that you cant watch them 24 hours a day. Well, sorry, yes you can and if you have a 14 year old daughter, you should blessed be
@msedge (4012)
• United States
10 Jul 08
We can never control anybody's feeling so if they say they are in love then maybe they are.My husband is older than me for 26 years but i am matured enough to figure out if its really love i feel for him and i know it is.For the 14 year old girl maybe he is her first boyfriend and she might misunderstood her feeling.Sometimes when its our first botfriend we mistakenly judge our feelings.We thought he is only person for us and the world revolves around him but at the end it will never last but who knows maybe its really a real love they feel for each other.I have heard a story the same as this and they are happily married now with 4 kids.
1 person likes this
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
10 Jul 08
Hi Dorothy I'm sorry but this man would be considered a pedifile. If she were my daughter, I'd call the police if he wasn't willing to leave her alone. She's still a kid whether she likes it or not. Most girls her age would probably feel special because this(I assume) good looking man thinks she's special. This man is not a boyfriend!!! He's an adult going after a child. leenie
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
10 Jul 08
I am 35, I am trying to think of my sons friends that I know who are 16 and I can honestly say I would not consider any of them to be attractive, they are just kids. So to think of a 38 year old saying he is in love with a 14 year old is beyond my comprehension, and all I can say is that I am glad it is not my daughter in this situation. I just do not think that I would be happy or comfortable with it at all.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11376)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Jul 08
maybe or maybe not..i really cant judge them now..only time will tell if the boyfriend will really wait for her...and if it will happen i guess its true love..
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
10 Jul 08
I really don't think it will last. I just hope this girl knows what she's doing. How does she know this guy won't try to take advantage of her. It's just kind of weird if you ask me. Anyway, 14 is too young to know what you want and that guy is way too old to be going out with a 14 year old.
@alian818 (113)
• China
10 Jul 08
I’d like to say,it is a totally complicated cituation.Remember Phebe's younger brother in "friends",he married his teacher,a woman nearly 50 years old. They are really happy and have 3 lovely kids.Another example is famous singer Celine Dion,a happy couple too.So I think the whole thing,good or bad,depends on the honesty of this two people.
• United States
10 Jul 08
I might agree with you if these were two adults were speaking of, but this is a 14 year old child and a 38 year old man.. that's just sick.
• United States
10 Jul 08
There's nothing complicated about this situation. No adult should even consider looking at a child of that age with that type of interest. I am sure in the instances that you stated, all of them were adults before they married someone much older. Not 14 year old children.
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
10 Jul 08
This is nothing but wrong. We need to protect our kids and Stop trying to justify this mans actions!!
• United States
10 Jul 08
That 38 year old man is obviously a sick pervert. It is not normal for a man of that age to show interest in a child. The girl, well, she's only 14, and that is a very vulnerable age. I am sure she thinks she is grown up, but she is being taken advantage of by this man. I am sure she doesn't see this, but when she grows up she will see just how sick he really is. No way this love's gonna last. He should be in jail.
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
10 Jul 08
Cindy, I couldn't agree more!!!
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
9 Jul 08
no i dont think a 14 year old can be in love with an adult, however i have friends who are 63 and 22 and live together in blisfull union blessed be
@Taskr36 (13925)
• United States
9 Jul 08
And that is perfectly fine since by all legal standards 22 is an adult. Sure there's still maturing to do at that age, but at 14 the maturity gap is much more significant since those are developmental years.
• United States
13 Sep 08
I'm 14 myself so I'' give you my view on this. Truthfully I think maybe she's sort of longing for love in her life, because it seems like her parents don't pay much attention to her anyway. Maybe she's also looking toward somebody that acts as a father figure. This longing for love, attention, and respect has caused her to develope a crush on someone who did pay attention to her, cared for her, and looks after her. Now for the man's prospective maybe he has fallen in love with this young girl even so I'm not saying it's right, but, I'm not saying its wrong. Love can work in many diffrent ways and the only reason we would look down at such a age diffrence between two lovers is because we were born and raised to boundry our love and devotion, because people have grown ignorant. Though the law says you are more likely a slave to your gardians until you reach the age of 18 there's no reason they shouldn't beable to date but, nothing further then that. If he is willing to waite until she reaches the legall age then why disagree in this relationship, and if he does actually waite for her then this love they feal must be real.
@walkthetalk (1307)
• United States
11 Jul 08
I have a 13 year old daughter, and if I found out she was going out with a 34 year old man I think I'd come close to killing him. She's my baby. There's not a man that is gonna mess with her. I think you need to be talking to this girls mom. Shes gonna get hurt in the long run, even if its just her heart. Shes still a little girl. You need to remember that. And so does that nasty man tryin to mess with a baby.
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
Its just not twice but thrice. Well I think the girl is looking for a father image mistaken as love. I really do not know how she is with her relationship with his father. It is rather difficult to judge her right now, but, I suspect its mistaken love from a father she is mistaking as "love".
@YoungInLove (1254)
• Canada
11 Jul 08
Its sick and twisted puppy love. Im not saying this because shes only fourteen, as one of my peeves is when people believe its not possible to feel real love at such a young age, but 38? Come on.. How can he even feel attracted towards her emotionally? I cant see it at all. There intelligence levels are completely different. How can he hold a conversation with her? Or an interesting one at that, itd be like talking to his kids, because he is deffinately old enough to be her dad. I dont think he would be able to stay interested long enough because their conversations wouldnt hold substance, and theres no physical relatinship there (atleast i hope not)
• United States
11 Jul 08
One of my friends married a guy that was way older then she was and they started dating when she was 15. They did not last. She was sleeping with him before she turned 18. The was all under the parents nose. The man would go over to the parents home for dinner every night. They where already raising a grand baby. What did they expect? Well the relationship got weirder and weirder. They got married when she turned 18 before she was out of high school, she did finish high school at least. She got pregnant he went behind her back and got a vasectomy. Then she was sleeping around on him and got pregnant. That is when he told her about the vasectomy. Wow a relationship built of lies. They split up and she was raising the children. Then she told me they got back together and he was willing to raise the other man's child as his own. Well the last I heard from her was that they split up again. A relationship like that was doomed from the beginning.
• United States
11 Jul 08
weirder things have happen but i highly doubt it and it seems very sick and disturbing to me
@fxcash (105)
• Canada
11 Jul 08
This too me sounds very sick and the 38 year old man should have more sense than to be messing around with a child, normally I try to be very open to many things, but a child of 14 has no business being involved with a man of that age. Obviously the man should grow up and get a relationship with a person who is grown up and not hang out with a child, what in the world can they have in common or build a relationship on?
@DAEARTS (37)
• United States
11 Jul 08
I think there are serious issues with a man dating a girl- I believe he has mental issues he should deal with- her parents should pay more attention to who she hangs out with and forbid her to see this man at 14 no child boy or girl has any idea of what is roght, wrong and maybe just plain dangerous for them. emotions are heavy, hormones are crazy, and peers are usually very cold or cruel the appeal of an older mate is a great appeal but I believe it is wrong for a grown up to date a child in most states it is plain illegal and the grown up could end up in jail for it the 14 year old needs people in her life to watch over her and to protect her from dangerous situations she may not like it but at her age she is not responsible enough to make such relationship choices on her own if it was a 14 year old boy there would be no difference at that age the body and mind are not ready to address and handle such serious issues as dating in serious relationships
@MsCYPRAH (398)
10 Jul 08
I think it is a ridiculous match and that older man should know better. I hope he is willing to wait until she is 18 because I think he will find that 4 years makes a big difference in a child's life and she is likely to think quite differently from now about how she feels about him. I think if the girl was older one could say there is a possibility that it could last a while, but this girl is so young. She has not had any real life yet, she is barely into her teenage years. She needs to experience life with her own age group first, to live the life he has already experienced, and to gain the maturity to decide for herself whether she really likes him. Anything else at this stage would be improper and I wonder what her real need is. A father figure, perhaps?
@tess1960 (2386)
• United States
10 Jul 08
Someone should report this situation to the local police. If the parents are not going to protect her someone needs to. If the man really was serious he would tell her he will look her up again in 4 years and he will not see her again until she is of legal age. Whois he to go against her parents wishes. A pervert!! I feel sorry for this young girl as she is probably maturing quickly and needing her parents more but they are not there for her and this Man is. She is confused I am sure!!
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
10 Jul 08
Hi dorothy, A fourteen year old child is not old enough to make up her own mind. I don't believe that they should be alone together. I remember my father telling of things like this happening a hundred or more years ago, when things were quite different from today. Sometimes these things work out, but I feel she may think differently in a few years. Blessings.