On-line relationship

@juliefaye (1214)
Philippines
July 11, 2008 7:47am CST
I have received a mail from the other site where I am a member, kinda weird for me , here it goes: [i]Hello Sorry if this email to you seems Bothering but am sure you would understand after explaining my reasons was wandering around when i came across your Profile it was just stunning could not believe my eyes am sure you must have alot of admirers chasing you around and even knocking down your door well won't blame them cause i will be doing the same as well maybe mine will be a little rational . Sorry for not introducing myself am T***y J***s by name am 41years of age Originally from High-bury North London England I'm a widowed Man of a 2year and i have one daughter am selfed employed an Acties drawing am a fun loving Guy, sincere ,considerate in all that i do and also very Happy with what i got. Well was wondering if we could be able to chat sometime cause you look like a nice person to be with well am looking for a soul mate,companion,a lover and someone to be there for me as i would for her well. [/i] Would really appreciate it if i can get a reply from you or better yet you can either send me an E-mail or better yet lets chat sometime hope to hear from you soon. Well, it came to my mind that this person doesn't really go over to my profile because he should saw there my pic with my husband and my kids. I politely turned down his indecent proposal and wish him that he can find his soul mate and find some happiness too. Just a thought, would online relationship really works? care to share?
10 people like this
31 responses
@anirc750310 (3424)
• Romania
13 Jul 08
I don't really know from my own experience but I have a friend of mine which has been in this situation. After divorcing her husband she stayed a lot on those matrimonial sites and met a lot of guys, most of them unserious guys, looking only for a way 'to get into her sack' and so. but now she have one guy, met on the net too, I can say if this is serious or not but she things she can marry this guy. To be honest I guess very few are serious and committed to a serious relationship. see u!
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Maybe she's just lucky to meet one and let's hope the it is for keeps.
@wild_ran (30)
• India
11 Jul 08
for me it is just time pass, flirting online. Well i do have couple og of very good female friends with them, we sahare lot of things including personal problems. But i dont think besides this a real male female relationship on line is virtual.
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
you're may be right...the male/female relationship online will not prosper just like in a personal relationship.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
11 Jul 08
Hi Julie I have had 3 of them so far and a few others have had them to but written different I have blocked 3 People for those kind of Mails it seems to be getting a bit much with those type of Messages being sent if they looked at our Profiles they would see that we are either committed or Married so you are right they do not look
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
this is my first time to receive this kind of mail so, kinda weird for me.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
11 Jul 08
this is one kind of a junk email. I have also receive this kind of messages and i ignore it. true friendship online is still possible. but not with that kind of approach. i have an online friend and we met online through a social networking site. we made good friends. we share everything, we talk almost anything. we can even tell our own problems to each other. we are best online friends... KEEP SMILING = NEIL
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
On line friendship does work, but this one suggests something. Thanks for responding Neil, have a good time.
• United States
11 Jul 08
well i have known people that have met online and had great relationships and then some that were good at all. i dont really suggest personally looking for love online cause well you can be anything you want to be online. if you should find love online, at a bar, at work, etc then so be it. you will find the right person when the time is right. everything happens for a reason. persoanlly i dont think i would have replied though. sounds like you have your soul mate and the person that wrote you needs to get out more.
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
You're right! I hope you'll also found your soul mate too...
@muxicka (216)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
Why are you askin? interested to pursue what he had just said? XD I think online relationships can work as long as both partners strive to make things work out.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
Ha ha! you look in different way here. You should read twice what I've said in the bottom part.
@muxicka (216)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
I have read that part, saying you already have a hubby. Who knows! I answered you in that way, since i might find some interesting answer from you. XD
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
you're naughty!
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
12 Jul 08
Online relationships may work. I have seen people meet online and have the lovliest relationships for years and years. People meet through date-services, or they meet in a forum somewhere. This man might be sincere. He might really have liked you and not understood you were married. I do not think he sounds crazy. And I feel a bit bad for him, and hope he does not read this discussion-topic and all the answers. I think it sounds like you handled the message back to him in a very good way - I myself would not have quoted him like this though.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
I don't think he sends this because he liked me. I was going to change my pic avatar so nobody can judge me the way I look. I responded him to give him the benefit of the doubt.
1 person likes this
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
12 Jul 08
Which I think was a vry good thing to do. I believe one should always give others the benefit of doubt. I know I'd never ever want to live a life doubting anyone and anythung before I have just cause
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
12 Jul 08
I think you handled the situation well - my reaction here was towards the direct quote and the responses you received judging him
@munhozmib (3853)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
11 Jul 08
Hello, juliefaye! Wow, you got someone who will consider you an idol, hahaha! You should be careful, he says he might go and knock on your door! What a crazy guy, but he sounds sincere from that e-mail. Perhaps he didn't recognize your husband, or something like that... What is really strange is that you have never talked to Mister Jones and he already wants to talk to you like if you were the love of his life. Perhaps he knows you from somewhere else. What do you think? Could he be visiting myLot? Or something like that? Hahahahaha Well, I'm glad you turned him down. Some people are really persistent, so soon you can receive another e-mail from him, and if this happens you have to leave it clear that you are happy without him and want him far away. Just tell this to him in sweet words, he is 42 and should understand. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
I don't really think that online "love" relationship works. You won't feel connections and true feelings with it because I believe that you need to touch the person that you would want to love. Touch is very important with a relationship. And besides, you won't really know a person by chatting and online communications.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
Munhozmib, you're such a jolly person and you even mention his full name which I put an asterisk. You're now putting him in the limelight. I think that was his trick to make women comfortable.. seems they've known each other before. I would definitely turn down any indecent proposal because I'm a married person, I'm loyal to my husband and most of all I'm happy and loved my husband very much. Well, I would just offer him to be my referral in mylot in case he's not yet a member.
1 person likes this
@munhozmib (3853)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
13 Jul 08
I'm glad you turned him down, really. I just wish you all the happiness you can have with your family, because THERE is the true love, and not in somebody that you have never seen.
@tessah (6621)
• United States
13 Jul 08
i wouldntve been polite about that email.. specially if yer profile clearly stated that you werent interested in finding dates. in fact, i have.. but as far as online relationships go.. i met my husband in an aol chat.. i know plenty of others who have met their sposes, boyfriends/girlfriends online as well.. so they do work out quite often.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Good for you Tessah.. thanks for sharing here that your work out well.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
error: it should be "yours" and "worked"
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
12 Jul 08
HAHAHAHA! really? Wow, I never thought it's possible? SO, he was just maybe sending this email to all of the ladies he bump in the site.. Anyway, I believed online relationship is just the same to real relationship...There are chances that it will fail and also chances that it will work out.. There are many successful stories about online relationship but as always, it's hard to trust easy also!
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
I haven't thought it will work out too until I read some testimonies of responses here. It's not easy to trust people in the net.
• United States
12 Jul 08
I know it's not but when you will both find time to know each other and spend time meeting in person, there are cases that it will lead to a great relationship...But, as I've said, quite risky yet exciting..LOL! As long as one just need to be wise also!
@amrishkj (297)
• India
12 Jul 08
Its just that people who are desperate into getting in a relation dont go through details of any of the profiles. They just make a standard format letter and copy - paste the same and send it to multiple candidates. And yes online relationship can work like anyother relationship provided there is trust, understanding and real love.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
I think so too, it was send to multiple women in his list. But I doubt if online relationship really propers.
@amrishkj (297)
• India
12 Jul 08
All relationships work online or offline only thing is that there should be some basics codes that both of the concerned parties adhere to.
@msmell (1378)
• Australia
15 Jul 08
I don't see the harm in chatting to another online as long as both parties are honest with each and I would only ever see it as a friendship because how can you have a true relationship with someone that you can't touch and can't feel... thats not a relationship but yes I think that people can have friendships online.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
yeah you're right...
@magojordan (3254)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
I think that it could work but just be careful of online predators. I've heard of news that a lot of girls became victims of predators on social networking sites. It's really hard if you only base a relationship from all those emails and from only one meeting. People change and if you are serious in getting into an online relationship just be sure you know the consequences of what you're doing.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
On line relationship is far from my mind. I am happy to have online friends only.
• United States
15 Jul 08
That e-mail actually sounds like a mass-mailing that he might have sent out to several people. Like you said, he probably didn't see your profile. I don't know if an online relationship would work for me because it's really hard to get deeply attached to someone through a computer or phone line. Sure, I have people online that I really like to see and talk with, but it's not the same as meeting them in person. I do believe that I can meet someone online and then meet them offline and have some kind of relationship. But, when I meet them offline, it would be like meeting the person for the first time to me.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
Hello Darlene, Nice to see here again... On line relationship has its pros and cons and there were only few who can say that their experience is good and the relationship prospers. I would rather see the person than talk to computers.
• India
13 Jul 08
Similar mails i have received a lot of times.. and may be i read it once or twice.. just for time pass.. but i don't believe in such a kind of relation ships. Love and affection towards a person can't be had in an out right way.. This is something that fixes you in a trap.. and i make it a point to delete the mail and mark it as spam one.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Thanks for your advice Saiven...
@bunnybon7 (37399)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Jul 08
well, i know there are some that work but seldome. i get e-mails like that and i think some guys just surf and email gals to see if one or two will chat. i know they havent read mine for 2 reasons, im not gorgeous like they say. lol. and i have it plainly stated that i dont IM chat. ijust delete them
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Oh! don't say you're not gorgeous. We are beautiful because we are children of God.
13 Jul 08
My, I must say he was very forthcoming in his message to you Juliefaye. I do believe online relationships can work, I have a friend who is now married to a man she met online. However, what has to be known from the beginning is that both parties are up for knowing each other in this way. I find it odd when people like yourself, who are happily married have such requests for friendship. Obviously these people do not read profiles very closely before making such a request. It made me laugh when I read he was from Highbury, I know this area very well..lol
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Hi Lisa, So happy to see you here my comrade. he's not asking for friendship but looking for a partner in life. What do you mean you know his area very well? Is he in your neighboring town?
• United States
12 Jul 08
Hi Juliefaye! The unfortunate thing about people on the internet is they are able to paint any picture of themselves they wish to paint. I don't know if your present relationship is lacking in any department but I DO KNOW if this person did see your profile and knew you were married and sent that e-mail to you he is not an honorable person. No one who was genuinely "sincere and considerate" would ever attempt to lure another into a relationship knowing your husband and family would be hurt by your involvement online or off with someone who makes it clear he is looking for a companion and lover,ect.! Even if they(your husband and family)knew nothing of this "relationship",for someone to even suggest that possibility shows he has no moral character and he is NOT sincere or considerate. You're a smart girl...think about it. YOU ARE BLESSED TO HAVE A FAMILY AND NO ONE IS WORTH LOSING YOUR SELF RESPECT OVER...........and I feel sure you know it is wrong or you would not have even mentioned it in this forum! Stay strong!
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Thank you so much Ravenstorm.. your words are clear and loud. True, there were people in the net that are masked and we never know what are their true intentions. I have heard so many relationship broken because of infidelity starts in the internet. I can't imagine myself ruining a good family because of this.
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
12 Jul 08
There have been some online relationships that have worked out. They finally meet after years and get married. I have a friend that this happened with years ago. He moved to where she lives, another state. They are happy with each other. I also know others that did the same but not so long ago. relationships are what you put into them. Work hard on it and you may have a good one. Treat it as something else and well, you know it won't work. I would be leary of an email or anything like you got. But then taking chances in love you get what you want sometimes. If you don't try how will you know. But as you said you are married and there is no chance with the other person. Since you post a pic of you and your family he was out of line writing to you.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Thanks to you moondancer, I'll take this one as a very good advice...
@kgwat70 (13396)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I believe it can work but you need to be careful about who you are communicating with online because you do not know who you are really talking to and what their real intentions are on here. Sometimes it is pretty easy to detect if a person is trying to pull a fast one on you or if they are really interested in you or not. I have been through this a lot and when I see emails similar to what you received, I delete it. This person is probably going around sending that email to numerous people, regardless if they are married or not. There is a lot of scammers on the internet and dangerous people. It takes a lot of work to make an online relationship work, especially if the two live far apart. I have quite a few very good friends that I met online and have been friends with for years. I tried online dating a couple of times and they did not work out though we remain friends.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Wow, dear friend.. seems you have a lot of experiences good and bad with the net. Thanks for the warning and your inputs here would really help and will pass this on to some of my friends.