What Would You Do If You Saw A Man Abuse A Woman In Public?
By wachit14
@wachit14 (3595)
United States
July 11, 2008 8:14pm CST
This actually happened to me last week. I was going to a big shopping mall near my house. I parked me car and got out and started to walk towards the mall entrance. As I got closer to the entrance, I saw a man yelling very loudly at a woman, who had her hands over her face. It sounded to me like he was forcing her to come with him. There was also a boy with him about thirteen years old. He dared the woman to call 911. It was then that I made the decision to go over to her and ask if she was okay. As I approached the couple, the man began walking away from her. I asked her if there was anything I could do for her, but she just shook her head and walked away towards the man and the boy.
After I intervened, I wondered if I did the right thing. I hoped that when she left with the man that he wouldn't blame her for drawing attention, but I felt I needed to do something on her behalf.
What would you have done in the same situation? Would have have done the same as I did, or would you have ignored it and walked away?
4 people like this
22 responses
@Xdrowninghavocx (3117)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I'm glad that you intervened. The first thing I would do is get a hard look at the man and absorb as much detail about him as I can. And then I would stick around like you did, letting him know that there is a witness in case anything happens. When someone appears to be uncontrollable like this, the best thing to do is to keep your distance until they have calmed down or moved on. I would ask the woman if she needed me to call someone for her.
1 person likes this
@pukaprat2 (442)
• United States
12 Jul 08
i have been thrown in jail for assult- heres the story:
a guy and girl both tourist i know this because well i live in hawaii were pretty much 40% of the people who dont speak english are tourist, anyways, they were argueing and the man full on hit the girl across the face, leaving her with a fat lip and bloody nose. i picked up a rock and hit him. knocked him out cold. and i was the one who got thrown in jail= go figure. anyways i do not tolerate beating women, nor do i tolerate children getting beaten. although the charges were drop thanks to the store owner who saw everything, i have to wonder how many people just turn their heads?
1 person likes this
@nzinky (822)
• United States
12 Jul 08
If that had been me I would have gotten the licene plate number and called the police and told them what was going on....And asked them to investigate the problem you don't have to give your name when you make a call like that.....The women was afraid of the man that's why she shook her head no.......
After she got in the car he problay hit her all the way home....If you see it again please call the police cause some women are too afraid to call the police...Cause they know they will get it worse when they get home......
No one has the right to abuse anyone else and if your in our state and don't report it you can be arrested....
@Ramaditya (1227)
• Indonesia
12 Jul 08
I agree to admit that what you've done was right, even though you risked yourself coming among them.
The way you gave the general and comforting question (Are you OK) to the woman was also wise dicision, as we could not enter someone's personal business, and it would give options for her to tell you the story or not.
As for me, I do not respect a man that abuses woman in front of public. If he does physical damage, I will probably challange him to fight. But yeah, calling the police will be my first option then...
@ycanteye (778)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I'm not sure what I would have done in your situation. I have been in her spot before but it was long ago and would have probably done the same as that woman did.
I feel like you did the right thing though because you defused the situation. Hopefully she will come to her senses and get out of what appears to be a bad situation.
1 person likes this
@coolchic101 (848)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I would've intervened and ask the woman if I could give her a hug and afterwards, I would have stoop up to the man and say something like, "Excuse me sir, I couldn't help but to notice that you were screaming and yelling at this lady, what can I do to help resolve the situation?"
Then I would ask the woman if she could come with me and stay at my place until things have calmed down if she didn't have a place to stay. I wouldn't ask them if everything was all right for obvious reasons. But I commend you for intervening.
They did a study on 20/20 news and had male and female actors to play different couples as a study.
First couple, I saw a woman getting verbally abused by a man while she was pretending to cry and then I saw male and female bystanders intervening. Second couple, I saw a man getting verbally abused by a woman, then you see alot of bystanders NOT intervening but just gawking at them and some even laughed and some female bystanders even support it and show a "You go girl attitude".
@coolchic101 (848)
• United States
12 Jul 08
By the way, I had a situation years ago where my ex boyfriend and I had an argument at a Baskin Robbins ice cream shop. He wasn't verbally abusive but we were just disagreeing and raising our voices alot at each other, to where we took our argument outside the shop. I don't even remember what our fight was about. Then I sat in my car while he walked home and I was feeling like I was going to cry. Minutes later a female customer came out of the store and asked me if I was alright and asked if I wanted to talk and that she would listen, but I just said holding back my tears, that I was fine. And the lady gave me hope and said that he'll be back and just walked away.
I never forgot this kind female stranger and I pray and send her and her family positive thoughts often. In this negative world, we need more angels like her. She also inspired me to go up to people if they aren't feeling right and asked them if they're alright and if they wanted to talk.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Jul 08
watchit14 I think I would have done even more, I would
have got in that man's face and told him I would call 911
myself if he didnt quit yelling at her. and I would have called 911 too, I hate men that do that to their women, its so disgusting and cruel.
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I think that after hearing the man dare her to call 911 I would have used my phone to dial 911 without the man seeing. Sometimes it is hard to know what to do in a situation like that and I'm sure you did what you felt was best.
@meiyeec511 (405)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 08
I don't think I will do anything. I'm a female also, I can't go near, else I may being abused too. The most possible thing I can do is to call for police.
Why is it in the world still have such a busing happen? Some more in the public. I sthe man too ego?
@creative_genius (992)
•
12 Jul 08
I would do the same. It is difficult as he didn't hit her, othewise I would have called the police or told a guard. At least you didn't just ignore her like the others.
@pradysgirl (246)
• India
12 Jul 08
even I saw a man beating his wife in the middle of the road, that was very humiliating, nobody deserves that. but I could not intervene as I was in a moving car, but certainly if I get to meet some one fighting again, I will do try to help the lady out.just as you did.
@buzzmaker (630)
• India
12 Jul 08
A man's virtue is to protect women and the helpless. To be understanding and caring. To be loving and to resolve issues by discussing in private, by reaching an agreement which would help to continue the relationship.
If I ever came across an incident like this, I would call the police or any authorities for help and be there to see that the woman is not hurt physically. Aks the woman if she needs my help in any regard.
Thanks
@pianolily (3)
•
12 Jul 08
I think i would have done what you did in that situation. If everyone ignores,things like that would be more and more
@soheavenlyme (117)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
you did the right thing, you did what you could. if i were there i would also call the guards of mall and ask for help.
@eachen2002 (889)
• United States
12 Jul 08
At the time it proably helped her but who knows what happen when she got home.Unfortionally things like that seem to occur more and more often.I've seen quite a few incidents in public.I guess anger makes people oblivious to other things around them.
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
12 Jul 08
i would have dialed 911 before i went over there.. heck if the 911 lady heard them arguing she could use it later in court maybe..
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I would of done the same thing. I did do something similar several years ago. At that time we had a couple renting a house across the street. They were always yelling and he seemed to have quite a temper. One evening she came running across the street into our yard and he was chasing her yelling. I stepped out and told him to get out of my yard. I then looked at her and asked if she needed help. She asked to use my phone to call a family member to come get her. After she and her yelling partner left I called the police. I wanted the police to know what happened in case something came of it later. They filed a report and apparently talked to the man. About a month later they moved. Apparently taking their screaming matches elsewhere.
@wendy1980 (131)
• China
12 Jul 08
I think I would have ignoredit and walked away,I think the woman has her own sense ,he should know how to do,but if the man allualt the woman I will call 911.
@zion45 (70)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I would have walked over there just like you did. Dont feel bad for what you did. I feel it was the right thing too. My girlfriend, was abused by her ex-husband and she would tell me how people would just sit there and watch. She said that she would pray for them to say something to him and no one ever did. After she said this to me I made a promise that if I ever saw anything like that happening I would intervene. The lady may not have acted that it, but I am sure she was thankful.
@jjavier65 (23)
• United States
12 Jul 08
It's unwise to interfere with couples having an argument, it's like intruding their personal affairs. I'd rather stay out of it unless someone is getting hurt and that's the only time I will call police for help. It's good that the man didn't turn his anger on you for interfering with them. It's best to just ignore such kind of situation whenever you happen to encounter them.
