Teaching your kids boundaries....

@snoopy04 (718)
United States
July 12, 2008 3:17pm CST
I am a firm believer in teaching my boundaries and rules. I see so many kids treat their parents like trash because they think the world owes them something. When my kids rooms are messy they clean it up, they pick up their dirty clothes and help with some chores around the house. I am not their maid or their slave. They have to know how to function in the real world because I wont be cleaning their house or cooking their meals. I may sound harsh but I want my kids to independent not dependent on mom and dad. When my friends see my kids clean their room they think I am being mean because I am making them do it instead of me doing it for them. But they respect me and love me for making them tow the mark. I am their parent first and foremost and I see alot my friends being their instead of their parents. The kids can cross the line without any conaquence what so ever. When my husband and I took our kids to Chunk E Cheese we were playing a game and this little boy came over and pushed my son out of the way so he could start playing. There was no parent around and when my husband tried to get him to wait until my son was finished he ignored my husband and continued to play. My son took his tickets and we left and went to another game. My son never cried or threw a fit. My husband was very upset and told me that kids today are rude and only think about themselves. My kids know how to share and take turns and know that rudeness is not tolerated. I think my kids are better off than most because I may be tough but I am the parent and they are the kids and they know it. They are well behaved, loving, giving and very polite and know how to show respect toward others. Do you set boundaries and rules for your kids as well or am I expecting to much?
4 people like this
12 responses
@teka44 (3425)
• Brazil
12 Jul 08
Hi snoopy. You are in the right direction teaching your kids to obey and be polite with the olders. I do that with my daughter because I hate rude children that never obey their parents. We see it all the times in our days and I don't like it. I teached my daughter since she was little to obey and be polite with the olders. She known that I only said a thing twice and after this she will be punish. I did not allowed she to play untill I thought that her had learned her lesson. The result was that she never waited to hear twice. I could go to anyplace with her without worries. Now she have 20 old and till now she always say me where she will go and the hour she will come back. When she goes out I can keep calm because I know where she is and with who. Till now she respect me and never gives me a rude reply. I teach her that the world doesn't have the obligation to acept rude persons and if she became rude everyone stay away from her. Our children grows up for the world and we must educate their for it.
2 people like this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I admire that parenting snoopy...I have a parents who raised me in that way and at a young age, My Sister and I were already responsible to help my Mom in the household chores and it was not painful for us, since we do care and love our parents.. I agree that today's generation is different..The values has been degrading and I am sure that is due to the loose parenting..If parents will never correct that, these kids will grow up irresponsible and inconsiderate people.. I know we have these people already who exist in any companies and establishment..Most of the time, they're the reasons why others can't stand in their job!
2 people like this
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I am proud of you, you sound like the perfect parent. You hear so much today kids saying my mother is my best friend. NO way, a parent should be a parent. I know I was brought up with responsibilities and boundaries, and it did not hurt me one bit. I have a niece who will roll her eyes and stomp her feet when she can not get her way. I fill like going up side her head, and her mother and grandmother will only say, stop acting like that, and she of course ignores them. She is 10 years old, and acts like the world owes her. Continue to be the mother you are, and thank God, we will have (at least your children), who will grow up to be great adults.
• United States
13 Jul 08
A person's behaviour or attitude towards others reflects his personality. A good upbringing makes up a person. The children's behaviour depend on how the parents reared them. If you have been a good parent; you teach your kids to be corteous, polite, kind they will grow up to be one. Children normally emulates the manners of their parents. But there are also cases when children copies the behaviour of their friends or kids they see in movies. It's up to us parents if we allow them to be rude or lazy to help in the house because this is what they see in other kids. We should incite to them the importance of helping in the housework and to be respectful with their elders.
@coopstar (282)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I think your rite on the money, I have 3 sons and we all have chores. We have a list that hangs in the pantry. I think when I see parents that allow there kids to act like that are primaraly lazy.To disipline your children is alot harder then letting them do what ever they want.I also think America is in the state its in because of bad parenting.The little boy who pushed your son will probley use a weapon to get what he wants someday.All because no one ever took the time to show him boundaries.
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13396)
• United States
13 Jul 08
I do not have any children but I firmly believe that parents do need to teach their kids boundaries. Kids need to have rules that they should follow so they can grow and mature and behave responsibly, whether at home or elsewhere. If we do not give them restrictions, they will do whatever they please and get into trouble. Kids are becoming more and more of a problem where I live as they are causing all sorts of problems and parents are doing nothing about their kids. Parents let their kids roam around late at night in the woods and playing in the middle of the streets. Our shopping mall put a ban on teens under 18 because of problems teens have been causing at the malls. Parents have a responsibility to teach their kids about the wrongs and the rights and how they should behave around other people and give them chores to do so they know how to take care of themselves when they get older. Children will have more respect for their parents if they are taught things and shown how to do things properly.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
13 Jul 08
Too many children these days just grow up. They aren't raised. My son was taught to respect others and his family. He wasn't perfect, but then no one is. But he knew right from wrong and now has the honor of teaching that to his girls also. I remember once though when my son was about 16 that he thought maybe his size would mean no more rules. We had been arguing and he got into my face and was looking down at me as he argued. He was furious because he wasn't getting his way and his hands were in fists. I just looked up at him and said "try it. I brought you into this world and I can take you right back out of it." LOL The look on his face was priceless. He looked embaressed and then laughed and said yea mom, I think you could. He then patted me on the head and went up to do the job I'd asked him to do. Yup, boundaries - all kids need them - even if they ARE taller than you.
• United States
13 Jul 08
I agree with you on how kids are today.It takes more work to be tough on them then it does to sit back and let them do what they want.I was never real tough on my daughter about chores and cleaning her room I wish I was .Now I do everything,I used to clean her room for her to I have given up on that and man what a mess it is.She is 17 now and it would be very difficult to change this now. However the things I was tough on her with I don't have any problems with her on today.Like school work,she is an excellent student going into law.I always set boundaries outside,she never stepped out of them,she has a curfew now,and is always home on time.I had to choose my battles with her she was always a difficult child.She would tantrum about something til she threw up,I would clean her up and she would start the fight all over again.I am thankful that the things that keep her safe I don't have problems with,and her schooling has always been great.The other things,well,I pity her husband,L.O.L. She also wouldn't have gotten away with being rude to another child at chucky cheese or anywhere for that matter.I just wish I made her clean her room and help around the house.My mistake and I pay for it now. Jas
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
13 Jul 08
I have a four year old son, soon to be five and we have our struggles with discipline sometimes. I do however believe that setting boundaries is very important. I really do believe that children's belief systems and behavior start in the home. It has just about everything to do with the parents. Your children watch everything you do and have a habit of repeating what they hear and see. Let's face it, children of today are very smart. I do look at the parent alot when I see a certain child's behavior in public. Our children are a reflection of us and we need to raise them with good standards. It is also good, I agree with teaching kids independence. I think they will thank u
@eyewitness (1577)
• Netherlands
13 Jul 08
I think you're doing a great job.I mean it's true children are very rude towards parents but also to elderly people.If i like at my family i still live at home,but my sisters and i must say (very ashamed too) we can be very rude to our parents,but i always try my best to not to be rude towards my parents and i do not want to depend on my parents and i won't if i do things i do it on my own.It's good to set boundaries my parents did too.
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
My sentiments exactly. Children should never be left to their own devices. They need rules to live by for their own good. I have a 6 year old son and he knows the rules in the house already. He put his toys aways after playing and he knows better than make a lot of mess in the house. No, I am not really a very strict parent but I make sure that my son knows that there are boundaries. He knows that his rights ends where the rights of others begin. If he wants to be treated with respect, he needs to treat others with respect too.
• Malaysia
13 Jul 08
You are a good parent. I wish there are more parents like you. Mowadays there are more permissive parents and parents who pamper their kids. Kids should be trained to be independent so that their parents will be proud of them. I get my son to clean his room and help me with the chores. He is a little lazy and need more guidance from me. Parents should never become servant for their children. I know of several grown up kids who treat their parents as servants. These is what parents will have to pay if they do everything for their kids. Even the Bible mention that children should be disciplined.