special person or attention seeker?

United States
July 12, 2008 11:30pm CST
I've never met anyone like this girl before..I am trying to figure out if this is nature or I am just close-minded to some behavior of the people.. I met a new friend and every time we are going to go out and talk,her topic is all about herself,her look,how people admire her,her career,her past,anything about her and story will be repeated all over again by the time we will hangout again..I will end up just saying, really? wow! great! and a laugh! I don't like to insult since she's not bad at all, it seems that she just enjoy talking about it all over again..I have no friends like this! i was just thinking, is it me who is just close-minded about her or whatever! Have you tried to hangout with people like this? how did you handle it?Thanks and I appreciate the response to help me understand her well!
8 people like this
20 responses
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
14 Jul 08
Hi Dear i can understand the position u r in, i think its some sort of Complex, so i dont mind and i dont potray that i have heard it before, its some of my listening ability make her happy then let it be. Some people are self centred , and their workd revolve around them selve i know few of them and i dont mind, and i always appreciate their Great Work Take care
• United States
14 Jul 08
Thanks for the positive approach cupid! LOL! I know men have the great patience for this type! I am trying a lot to be attentive and I know I have that skill, just not wide enough for a repetitive things..Maybe I have to wider it more!
2 people like this
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
15 Jul 08
LOL its not matter of Patience, its mind set . u just mark it in ur mind and i am sure when u will meet her next time,u will be more tolerant and infect enjoying her GREAT achievements Take care
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13709)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
Believe me... there are a lot of people like that in this world... i have met a few of them... and i would just end up realizing how insecure they are about their life... and the need constant reassurance that they are beautiful... great... etc... etc... if you are the patient type of person... hang around until you get a chance to change the topic... something not about herself nor yourself... if she is the open minded type... she will get that you want to talk about something else... but if she reverts the topic to herself again... try to think very hard if you really want to keep her as a friend...
• United States
14 Jul 08
Hi aseretdd, Thanks for that advice! I know we encounter people with purpose and we experienced things with reason..Maybe God wanted me to be more patient..LOL! I love that statement of yours, they need reassurance...I can see that is what she is struggling for! I can be a great help in a way! Thanks again!
2 people like this
• United States
14 Jul 08
usually people like that don't get any better. some may change after bad experience or tragedies and it helps them be aware of others. but there is no gaurantee. some people are like that their entire life even if that have a family. they don't take good care of their family and are disfunctional with caring for the kids because they only care for themselves. it's best not to get too involved with them.
3 people like this
• United States
14 Jul 08
Hi green, Thanks for that words...Happy posting!
2 people like this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 08
Hello checapricorn, I don't have this type of friend but I know a friend who seems to know everything in this world. Just talk about anything, she seems to know the best. At first, I just felt amazing to get to know someone who seems to be smart and glad to have her as one of my friends. At the end, I realized that she is too much. I am not saying that she is bad but I just can't stand her anymore. Whatever you say is wrong, whatever you know is just not complete and she seems to know the whole thing better than anyone in the world. When you talk about holiday in certain country, she knows better. When you talk about medicine to cure this or that illness, she knows all the medicine available in the world. So what I am doing now is just listen and be like this stupid lady who knows nothing. I agree with her in everything and I never start a new discussion with her. It really saves my time whenever I have to be around her.
3 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 08
hahahahah..Same role we are playing gr8life with a different situations...LOL! I have known also a colleague like that before and no one really would like to hang out with her..LOL! Sometimes, we will try to analyze, is there something wrong in her life? LOL!
2 people like this
@kaleegirl45 (1474)
• United States
13 Jul 08
Hi checapricorn, I have afriend like that. Everytime we talked it was always about ME, ME, ME. I just tired of it. I don't talk to her as much, because when I do,it start again, I mean, we talk that often and when we do, it's all about her. I'll email her once in a while, just to see what she doing, but I stay away from her. Does your friend ever ask you, how you are doing. If you like to remind friends, maybe you should do the same to her and see if she notices. That if you get a chance to get a word in.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 08
Thanks for that kaleegirl, when she will call me, she will ask how am I? am I bored? Like that, but I am also tired listening to the repeated topic!LOL!
2 people like this
• United States
14 Jul 08
I believe that some poeple are like this because the lack some kind of self esteem. I remember at one of the many jobs that I had. I had a friend, and she had a great body, she was cute, and everywhere she walked she made heads turn. She love the attention she got. Every window, mirror that she could see herself in, she would looked at herself. I finally got tired of the way she was acting, and didn't hang around with her. I believe her problem was, that if no one would look at her, she would not feel good about herself. I know deep down inside she was lacking some kind of self esteem, confidents. Some people need to be notice more, while others don't really need to, it just happens. Next time you go out with friend and she starts talking about her, and if you have an ipod put it on, and just make sure she doesn't see the wire. just a thought. lol
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jul 08
hahahhaa..That is funny kaleegirl! LOL! I do know if they are aware of it? and if they are, maybe that will make them happy! LOL! As our professor before " don't lift your own chair". A very famous quotations in our Country about that attitude! thanks!
2 people like this
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
13 Jul 08
I try to listen but after awhile I get bored with someone talking about their self and everything about them. I try to get in another subject somewhere like talikng about a tv show that I enjoy watching or a movie that I have just seen just to change the subjuct of someone talking about thier self.
• United States
13 Jul 08
Hi Shaun, thanks for that..i will try to apply that tip!
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
13 Jul 08
Or talk about yourself and about something that is good that is going on in your life. Best of luck to you.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Jul 08
I will try Shaun..Thanks! I always love to talk about general topic and from that relate our own experiences! Anyway, you are helping me!
• United States
15 Jul 08
I can't say that I have ever hung out with anyone that has done nothing but talk aboout themselves. But I have had people repeat stories to me over and over again and I have done the same. That usually happens because their memory (mine included) isn't the best and we tend to forget that we have already told that story. Hope that helps!
2 people like this
• United States
15 Jul 08
Hi lovespecial, I am glad with all the wonderful ideas here including yours..I know it will help me. thanks!
1 person likes this
@alkurishy (2069)
• Iraq
15 Jul 08
Well, I have know such friends like this you have, but you know what I do? after I get bored with the repeated stories as your friend say, I start do like she do and with every story he told me about him self I tell him a story of myself too, and by the time he notice that I will start on myself whenever he do, so he stop that, and I was so comfortable for it, lol. I hope that can help you to deal with her, have a nice day.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Jul 08
ohhh...Thanks for sharing alkurishy, I will try that tip!
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jul 08
This person is very self-centered, and I don't blame you for feeling the way you feel about her. Why must we go on and on about you and what you do? This person may be a good person, but to be around her must be very boring. Its not you that is close minded, its her that is full of herself. I wonder if she, or other people like this for that matter, are really insecure, and must talk about themselves all the time to feel better. You are a better person than me, because I would not hang with this person at all, unless I was suffering from insomnia, then I would call her on the phone for one of her "self-stories"!
2 people like this
• United States
14 Jul 08
You make me laugh drknlvly...LOL! Great therapy indeed when we will have insomnia..LOL! ANyway, I have no friends like this in the past and I was just shocked...I can tell she has no many friends and I am since I am new here, she just want to hang out with me and want me to have all my ears! LOL! It helps me in a way to develop more my patience..LOL! But, most of the time, I am refusing her invitation to go out!
1 person likes this
@kiran1978 (4137)
• Australia
13 Jul 08
Yes I have a friend like that, she has become better over the years though. However she was exactly the same always talking about herself praising herself in every aspect of her life. Nothing wrong with a little confidence but to boast all the time is a bit much I think, modesty goes along way. I did the same as you listen, nod my head, and say yeah, that's good, and so on. It does get a bit tiring after a while, communication should be a two way street. So I don't think you are being close minded at all. I hope you can manage to get a word in soon, lol. Maybe when she keeps talking about herself you could change the subject every now and then.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 08
Good to hear about that kiran, LOL! I am telling myself, I don't want to be influenced this..LOL! I have tried really changing the topic and bring it to a more general view but she always end it up relating to her...Thanks for making me feel that i am not alone! LOL!
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21029)
13 Jul 08
Hi Checapricorn, I think we all know people that are me, me, me. It probably isn't intentional but she may feel insecure and to make herself feel better shares the things that have happened that are funny and that happened when she felt good. If she is a lovely person the next time she starts of one of her repeat stories politely interupt and say something like, you have told me that just so many times and laugh and say now let me tell you and take the lead in the conversation and keep doing it so it is a two way thing and she will probably realise or bring the conversation up to date by talking about a shared moment you have both had. I hope all this has made sense. I know I have been guilty in the past of this as I just get so excited over something and just have to share over and over he, he. not so much these days though. Sounds like she just needs to be taught to listen too really. Ellie :D
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 08
Thanks a lot ellie! You help me to become a great friend not only to those whom I share the same behavior and also this new attitude that I encounter!LOL! I will do that and wish she won't be offended when I will interrupt her..I'll try!
1 person likes this
@clowdine (1402)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Well, I have had friends like that who would always talk about themselves and probably will have more in the future. I must admit, it can be annoying but just like you, I keept it to myself. As long as they don't say anything bad or insulting to me or they don't give me any unfair remarks about other people, I won't mind it that much. I won't go with them by choice but I won't avoid them either.
• United States
13 Jul 08
Thanks for sharing clowdine,,,you enlighten me!
1 person likes this
@underdogtoo (9599)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
I have very few friends that I want to hang with. I certainly don't want to spend any time with anyone whose only topic of conversation is herself. I would have to be pretty desperate to do that, hand with someone I do not like at all.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 08
Hi underdogtoo, I don't want to insult when she will visit me which she often do! thanks for dropping!
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
13 Jul 08
No it is not you.This girl may be very nice but she is hungup on herself and everything is all about her..That is a very selfish trait,and i would not enjoy the company of a person like this..Its ok to talk about yourself some but she needs to take a breath and ask about you for a change...She is bragging on herself and not much for conversation..I had a friend and still do but she is away right now but all she talks about is how mad she is all the time,and is constantly talking about others and what they are doing to her and how bad she is treated,and it gets old...She has lost all of her friends and i am the only one that will talk to her anymore..If i had not known her for years ,i think i would probably end that friendship....
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 08
Maybe that's the reason slickcut, I am not sure how many friends she got also and in this case, Maybe she has no long time friends who really stick to her! I have not seen also! Anyway, thanks for sharing!
1 person likes this
@chrislotz (8203)
• Canada
13 Jul 08
She may not be a bad person but she sure is into herself. Some people are just like that and it really isn't a fault, it's just who she is and if you want to be her friend it is something you will have to accept. Maybe some time down the road, after you have known her for awhile, you can have a little chat with her about it. But you need to ask yourself if it is worth the time and effort it will take to develop a good enough friendship that the time will ever come that you can talk to her about it. I personally, would not want to go out with her anymore, but that is just me. I am not saying that you shouldn't go out with her, it is your choice, my friend. Good luck with your decission.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 08
Thanks chrislotz, I agree with what you have said that if I want to be her friend, it's a package that I need to accept! I will think about it..Thanks for helping!
1 person likes this
@dhangski (3194)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Hi friend. I've tried to hangout with a friend like this before. I am a frank person so everytime she open an old topic about herself or how her life has been, I tell her that "Yeah, I know, You've told me that before". Then she'd stop and when she opened it again, I will come up with another topic so she will stop. LOL. It's really annoying and sometimes irritating to hear the same topic over and over again. I think those people would like that your attention would always be with them. In tagalog, we call it K.S.P. or "Kulang sa pansin". LOL. Keep posting. HUGZ!
• United States
13 Jul 08
I agree...Maybe I have to do that too! LOL! I will see if I have the courage..LOL! She's a new friend and doesn't like to insult but it's really annoying! Especially if you have no choice since she will be the one who will visit in the house!
1 person likes this
@hellcowboy (7383)
• United States
26 Aug 08
She sounds kind of a little stuck up and a very big attention seeker and I do not see how you can put up with hanging out with her without telling her to shut up,I have had a couple friends who have been self centered and always liked to talk about themselves all the time,and for a while I would just ignore them and act like I was listening,and then after a while I got fed up with it and just stopped hanging out with them all together because I did not want to insult them or start a fight because I do not like confrontation.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Aug 08
ohhh...I also stop seeing her this time, I prefer working online than to be hurt her feelings if ever I will confront her..I wish someone can correct her, a sister or a close relative! Not a nice attitude! LOL! Thanks for sharing!
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Aug 08
Yeah no one likes to insult anyone if a confrontation breaks out,and I was more than happy to share with you my friend,I enjoy responding to all my friends,and I hope the more I respond to them,the more they will respond to me,have a great day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting my friend.
• United States
27 Aug 08
gut says she's self centered, but experience says she just doesn't know how to hold a conversation. She is living her life, so that is what she knows to talk about. With people like this, you just have to find the right time to lead the conversation.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Aug 08
True but hard to butt in when she will always divert it in herself! LOL!
@ElicBxn (60810)
• United States
24 Aug 08
Hun, she's self-centered and if you want to only talk about her, then fine, but if you want to talk about anything else, she will be rude and act bored and will hurt you. I advise staying away, very far away. Well, unless she's paying you to be her "yes man."
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Aug 08
Thanks for sharing Elic, very self-centered really..i am not sure what are her insecurities in life too!
1 person likes this
@kittenmc (465)
• United States
18 Jul 08
I have meet a few like this. Sometimes it helps to confront them by saying, yeah I know you have already said that. Sometimes it don't. IMO, Some people are so conceded, that is just how they are and sometimes it just because they don't have a real life and don't know how to interact with others. It's just something you will have to figure out. If it's kinds easy to change subject and show them other things to talk about, then this friendship may work, but if it don't help, then maybe not. Good luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jul 08
Hi kitten, Thanks for sharing, I am trying to make things work out with less "ME' in the topic!