He is talking about God after all of everything that has happened..

@cream97 (29169)
United States
July 13, 2008 8:53am CST
My husband talks about God over and over.. He says that he spends so much time with God. And that I don't . He says that he is not an abusive person. He says that God did not make him to be abusive.. He called him by his first name. My husband has a record of Criminal Domestic Violence, 1st offense.. This was back in 2003. Now here it is 2008. In the past years, my husband has choked me, and he has smothered me. He once told me to leave before he kills me. He said that he know somebody whom can put my body into the woods, and they will never be able to find me. Right now, the same things are happening all over again, but just in different ways. I took him back the next year later, because I missed him and I love him, an I did not want my children to grow up without a father in their life. Now, I have a big situation here. If I leave he will take the kids from me. He says he information on me, that will allow them to take my kids from me. He told me to leave from the house, he will find someone else that will take care of my kids.. I am a good mother, when he is asleep, I am up with these kids watching them and feeding them, changing diapers, and helping them with with writing... I hardly can get my husband to help his son and daughter learn.. I feel like a single mom in an marriage..
10 people like this
28 responses
@jerzgirl (8013)
• Gloucester City, New Jersey
13 Jul 08
Cream - you have a similar history to me. Again - it won't get better. He will NOT change. YOU need to get out. I promise, unless there's something you're not telling us, he won't get the kids. He has that history of criminal domestic violence against him. Contact the shelter nearby and see if they can help you get out while he's at work. Take the kids. He won't know where you are. Also - his garbage of spending time with God is just that.....garbage. My ex tried to pull that stuff on me (I was the church goer, he wasn't) saying that the Bible says I was supposed to obey my husband. The Bible also says that the husband is supposed to be with the wife as Christ was with the church....willing to lay down his life for her. It's one thing to follow his lead - it's another entirely to follow him to h3ll!! GET AWAY!!!!
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
13 Jul 08
Yes, you should have heard all of the things that he says that the Bible has said. He uses this against me, so that I won't leave him. I feel like what he is saying is right. And he has me just thinking that I am the cause of why he gets this way. He says that I provoke him to do me this way. He even said that someone said that I am the type of woman that will allow a man to go to jail..That is what he told me what someone told him.
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (8013)
• Gloucester City, New Jersey
13 Jul 08
I want you do do something. Look up online "the cycle of violence" and then read a book called "Men who hate women and the women who love them". Then, really re-think all of it. It doesn't matter if what he's telling you is scripturally correct - it matters if he's living up to HIS end of scripture. He's not. Is he willing to give his life for you? Is he willing to sacrifice for you? That's what it says a man is to do for his wife. Does he love you as Christ loved the church? Then you don't need to do likewise in return. Relationships take two people - not one person demanding obedience from the other without giving anything in return. It was my pastor who told me to get away. It took me a while because I kept thinking it wasn't scriptural. But, then I read, "An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins." (Proverbs 29:22) I also read, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." (Proverbs 29:11) But, the one that helped me accept that counsel was, "Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul." (Proverbs 22:24-25) Staying with him can cause you to become more like him. I don't think you want that. I think your husband qualifies as "a furious man".
1 person likes this
• India
13 Jul 08
believe me he has no information, he is just trying to put fear in you. Barking dogs do not bite.You are stupid, foolish lady to say you love him. What's wrong with you dear ceam97 ? (I am sorry to use these words )Leave him at once.Go to police and complain.
2 people like this
• India
14 Jul 08
I call her stupid becuse after she mises him, loves him after all that has heppened ok I am really sorry - I should call her emotional fool. OK.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
13 Jul 08
You know what I just don't understand. Several of your posts have described how he threatens to kill you and hide your body. I know this is the 2nd type of this post I've seen and I think there was even another one where you were talking about the fighting going on. So why are you still there????? Your last post asked us what to do. We told you. But yet he is now still threatening to kill you and you are still there and still haven't told the police??? I'm sorry, but if you are willing to stay in that type of an arrangement then you know what to expect from him, especially since this post says he has a record of criminal domestic violence. What will it take for you to realize this man cannot be trusted with you or your children? I do NOT mean to sound harsh. I AM sympathic since I was married to an abuser. But there comes a time (and threats of murder would be a good time) when you have to say goodbye and get out. Sometimes its a shame we don't know people's names here. Because if I knew yours I'd be calling child protective services immediately!
2 people like this
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
13 Jul 08
I will leave, I am just afraid to.. Trust me, I will leave..He now is trying to on with our marriage as if nothing never happened. I can't do it.. What has happened years back is happening all over again. He is doing everything that he can to keep me from going anywhere.
2 people like this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
13 Jul 08
Hi cream, I am very sorry to hear about that, I will be scared if that will be his words to you! What made him act like that? What made him say those words against you? Have you hurt him? Maybe, you are not aware that you are hurting his feelings also, I have read in your previous post that he do care and love you! and a person will not say that when he don't mean it, try to evaluate your actions and words, maybe unintentionally, you are hurting him too... about no time for your kids, have you tried asking him that even if he is busy in his business, he needs to spend time with your kids? I hope you will be able to settle things out!
2 people like this
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
13 Jul 08
To love me means to not want to kill me. Even if I was the cause, which in some cases, I was not. That gives him no reason to say all these cruel things to me, or to do any of these things..
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
14 Jul 08
Hi cream, I really think that it is time for you to get out of this marriage. When he is not home, take your children and leave. There has to be someone who can help you. You say he talks about God all the time, and says that he is not abusive, it sounds like he may have greater mental problems than even you realize. Leave him for the safety and sanity of both you and the children. Blessings.
2 people like this
14 Jul 08
Hi cream97, Do not believe every thing he tells you he is telling lies,please go for help,fined the welfare office and tell them or go to police and tell them of his threats please do something if its only for you childrens' sake, he is only trying to frighten you and make you think it yourr faulf it is not your fault it his. How in the world could you love this evil abusive man, Just go and get help please. Tamarafireheart.
2 people like this
• Canada
13 Jul 08
Damn girl! Why are you still in that relationship? Your kids are better without a father in their life. Your kids will grow up thinking its alright to get abused! The government will not give custody to a father who has criminal record in abusing people!
2 people like this
@ellie333 (21029)
13 Jul 08
I anwered another discussion not realising that you weren't just suffering the mental abusive but physical too, get out while you and the children can. Go to someone in authority and seek help with this, he already a record so they will listen to you. I would much rather be a single parent and know I and the children were safe than living in your situation right now. Ellie :D
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 08
I hate to say this, but your husband is a hypocrite. He does not know what the Hell God is. Men like that make me angry. My mother's boyfriend is the same way. He cheated in his wife, and he verbally abused everyone in his family, my mother, brother, and me included. Yet, he says he is still a God fearing person. BS. He does not know what the Hell a God fearing person is. I personally do not really believe in God. I believe in a higher power, but to call it God is an under statement. Your children would be better off with no father at all, than a father that lies to them and beats the living sh!+ out of them. I asked my mother everyday why she did not just leave her boyfriend. She says because I need a father. No, I do not. I would rather have had no father at all, than one who lied to me and verbally abused me.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 08
You need to leave before something bad happens, I'm no marriage counselor but I have common sense. You are hearing the classic warning signs. Do what you need to do and keep your children safe, do not live with the regret that you didn't do something because you fear him more than you love him. He is giving you a choice, make this moment count. Find someone to help you. Don't worry about your children growing up without a father, he doesn't sound like one anyway. Do not take him back, people deserve a second chance but not a third.
2 people like this
@snowbitz (487)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Cream i am very sorry to read about your situation.I would suggest if i were you i would get out of there bring the children with you.He will not get the children from you unless there are things that you're hiding from us. But I assure you he will not change person like that who like violence has a personal problem and need to seek help from the expert about that kind of behavior.It's either you kill him by accident or kill you by accident.Don't let your children grow up in that kind of situation because theres a tendency that they might follow there father's footstep.It's better not to have a husband and see your children grow up in a normal home than have a husband that's abusive and you will always makes the children be terrified.It's a traumatic experience for the children so get out!!! Think of your children growing up in that situation what will become of them?
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31617)
• United States
13 Jul 08
Cream, I'm sorry but until you do something for yourself it will not get better. I don't mean to be callous, but quit posting and do something. Call a women's shelter and take your kids with you and go there. He will not know where you are, that's what they are for. You can live there with your children and get on your feet. They'll feed you, clothe you, accompany you to your attorney if you wish, and protect you until you can get a divorce and start a life. I know it helps to have us to talk to but it won't bring back your life or your childrens' lives if he goes off the deep end and does something crazy. And it sounds as if it's very close to happening. Call someone today. Go to a relative's house with the kids and call the police if he bothers or threatens you. He's already guilty of assault (threatening) in the past few days and if you don't do something right now, today, you will be in big trouble. These are my last words to you on this subject until you take steps to help yourself. I know you're scared but it tears me up to read your posts and know you're not taking action to protect yourself and your children.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
13 Jul 08
He is home right now. Our house phone is cut off. I will have to walk while he is asleep. I have grandmother that lives up the street.. I am even scared to walk out of the house.. I am trying to figure out, if I should call the police first, or to just walk to my grandmother's house while on the phone with the police.. I am very nervous!
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31617)
• United States
13 Jul 08
You said he sleeps during the day, that's your chance. You're out of minutes on your phone? Take his if he leaves it laying around. Go to your grandmother's, right now. Act normal till he's asleep, then leave as quickly as you can. Call the police from your Grandmother's house, then a shelter. It will be safer for you all if you're in a shelter. And get an order of protection. Good luck. Check in when you can, I'll be thinking of you.
2 people like this
@chrislotz (8203)
• Canada
3 Sep 08
Well, maybe he needs to talk to God about his temper and his abusive ways he treats you. Maybe you can go talk to the minister of your church. Maybe he needs to talk to the minister of your church. Maybe he needs to have his balls cut off. Maybe he can't change or doesn't want to. Maybe he is just a bad person. And if you go talk to his minister and talk to his parents, maybe then he can get the help he needs. If not, why not just take the kids, while he is at work, and leave. If you have nowhere to go, like family, go to the child care services in your city. They will protect you and your kids and then he would have to have concrete proof of you abusing your kids, to get them from you. No court in this world would give the kids to him, so don't worry about that part of it. Just get out, my friend.
1 person likes this
@royal52gens (5380)
• United States
16 Jul 08
Ok, so you knew how he was years ago. Sadly, you took him back into your life. Now you have to get him out of your life again. Hopefully, you will not be fooled into taking him back yet again. Each time will only get worse. He is talking to God or himself. He has a problem and he knows it. He is trying to warn you the only way he knows how. He is telling you he will harm you and that you need to get away from him. He is also saying "he will find someone else that will take care of your kids". Take that line and add it to the discussion about the answered cell phone calls and you will know he has already found another woman. Oh yes, honey, it is all adding up. Take the children and leave. Call the police if necessary so that you can leave without any problems. The best option is to Leave when he is not at home and go to the police department. Have them help you get into a shelter where you will be protected from him. At the shelter, they will guide you step by step of how to get through things. They will also help you get yourself and your children into counseling. You have all been abused and tramatized by this man. Stay Safe and Stand Strong
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
I'm sorry for you. I just don't understand why some husbands are that cruel to their wives? If ever you did not do any wrong in the marriage and he is doing these things to you, I could say he is sick. No husband who said I love you to his wive and then do the opposite thing. There is something with him if this is the case. It is truly scary to live with this kind of person. I hope you will find your way out with this mess. Good luck.
@yogeshdhusa (2237)
• India
15 Jul 08
hey cream, act now send him behind the bars. you are capable of taking care of your children yourself. please dont let anyone distroy your life.
1 person likes this
@NYANJURU (57)
• Kenya
14 Jul 08
Hi Dear, What I believe as a born again Christian is that once you know your sins and you confess them to Christ Jesus you are forgiven regardless of what you had done in the past. Be grateful that your Husband has found Christ because I know from my own experience that Christ changes souls 360 degrees. I would urge you to go into the Word of God in the Bible and find a church near you where you can be taught the truths of God. You are bitter because he does not seem to have paid for what he did in the past but now is now the past is gone. A problem would be if he confesses of God and reforming and he is still violent and does not take care of the family. you will be better off if you forgive him and try to understand his hunger for God now and be a part of it. I can promise you that you will be the happiest woman in the world.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
i find your situation very disturbing, for i've grown in a big but happy family although my two older brothers are half brothers, it doesnt make any difference of having a peaceful life. To start with, do your husband really that violent?., i mean, since the day you've said your vows with each other, do you have any hint of his violence?.. if yes, then maybe it's his real problem, and i think you should try to revive the old days, the day he's not that bad to you.. if he's not that really brute, then maybe you should reach for him first as a friend, observe his actions, his words, his frustrations, on how he react on every little thing, what irritate him, what catches his interests, what instance will he be in good mood and in bad, what makes him angry, and try to avoid it.. try to listen and not to talk, try not to react whenever he's picking up a fight..chill, be cool, and whenever your with your kids and he's around, try to be more cautious, it'll be more traumatic to the children than to you and to your husband.. If you think your relationship really don't have the chance to be fix, then maybe its time to think of what will be the future of your children with or without him, don't think of not having a father for your child if that chance will only give a more sufferings and endurings not only to you but to your children.. hope i've help..
• Romania
14 Jul 08
My first and primary advice, for You and all the people being in the same kind of situation: CONSULT A LAWYER! All the actions and reactions will have consequecies! So please first take the advice from a third-party person, from a proffesionst. Above and beyond all feelings and concerns, YOUR life is the most important!
• United States
14 Jul 08
I don't mean to be rude but you keep posting several post about basically the same thing. We have answered these same questions and told you that you need to get out of this marriage before you end seriously hurt or worse. Your son is learning to be an abuser from his father and it would be better for him to be raised without one than be raised to abuse women. You need to collect proof and get it where he can not see his children unless it is supervised. He can not take your kids away unless he can prove you are an unfit mother. Quit writing about it and take some action. Sitting at the computer and writing about it will not fix this. For you and your kids sake get out of this marriage if it is as bad as you say.
1 person likes this