ditching school

United States
July 14, 2008 2:30pm CST
Hello everyone, Well I just got a phone call from my daughter's godmother telling that she was not in school. (it's summer school and she need the credits)I called the school and sure enough she not there. I call her cell and left her a message, "you better call me, because you're in big trouble", I also called my husband at work to let him know that she was not at school. He's the one that picks her up. I know he would have gotten mad if he had to go all the way to where her school is at, and not find her there. I punished her, took everything away from, cell, ipod, laptop, no going out anywhere for the rest of the summer, means, no mall, no friends. She probably thought, since it's summer school I wouldn't find out. Wrong! I'm so upset. Have any of you had problems with your kids ditching school? What do you do? Give me some thought in this.
1 person likes this
6 responses
• United States
14 Jul 08
First of all, Think in her perspective, what would you be thinking if you were her? Sit down and talk to her why getting the credits is good for her and try not to force her, when she understands, she will be grateful in the future for taking your advice. It's not your fault or her fault. I know people who ditch school but I don't have kids so I don't know. The right thing you did was punishing her, but next time, tell her that what she has isn't a right, it's a privilege. Also, try not to yell or scream because I find that it makes matters worse. Let her see her friends because it's summer vacation and it only comes once in a year and honestly, I think your taking this way to seriously. Are you sure she doesn't have a lot going on her mind right now? First of all, if the classes aren't for the entire summer or aren't the entire day like regular school, tell her she can still enjoy her summer and she will benefit from the credits later on in life. Also, try sitting down with her privately and talking to her eye-to-eye and telling her how you feel about her skipping and how it's hurting her(don't make her feel really guilty though). Take my advice and please tell me how it goes. If I had kids, I would do as I mentioned above. Good luck. From your friendly neighborhood Mylotter, Insaneduck9 Happy posting!
2 people like this
• United States
14 Jul 08
Hi insanceduck We talked about this before, I've told her that if she wanted to stay from school,to let me know, this way I know where she is at. This happen already twice, and if she can't come up to me and tell me, what I'm I to think. I know she not getting into trouble, it's the principal of the thing. She didn't tell. Right now she's at an age where I can't talk to her. She rolls her eyes everytime I ask her to do something. I now she mad at me, last night I asked to wash dishes, she only washed what she used and left the rest there. This got me upset, I told her, you don't do anything when you're home and when I ask you to wash dishes you get mad. So I think she ditch because of last night. She only had six weeks of summer school. All I asked was that she go everyday. Believe me I've talked and talked, yelling, not yelling, and still nothing. Believe I have tired all that you're telling me. I don't know what else to do. I give up and let her father deal with her. thank you for your response, I will keep you posted.
• United States
14 Jul 08
Hello again She is home and I didn't yell and I didn't say anything, she handed me over her stuff and told me "go ahead and yell at me" I told i didn't have to. She kept crying. I say next to her and i asked why she did what she did. She said that she didn't feel like going to school and wanted to stay with her friend. I told her again, if you wanted to stay home you should have told me. We need to talk and we can settle this. So the outcome of this little mess, is that she will not continue her summer school, I'm going to call her consuler and have her add another class to her schedule. She was worried that I was mad at her friend, I told no I wasn't but not to do that again. She told me that I should know where she's at. I told her no, I don't know where you're at. What if something happen to you and her, than what. I hugged her and told her to relax and that she still couldn't have her stuff back.
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
14 Jul 08
I don't have this problem as I homeschool my children. However, I have a teenager who has done some stupid things and gotten in trouble. I done the same thing- took the phone, car,etc. They don't like losing what freedom they feel that they have.
• United States
14 Jul 08
Hi carolscash, My oldest daughter, when she was going to high school, would call me and let me know that she wasn't going to school. I was working at the time, and I told I need to know where she was all the time. We had that trust between us. Danielle, doesn't seem to want to trust me. Even Michelle has told, let mom know what you're doing, where your going and if you're going to ditch, let her know, she won't get mad. She still doesn't listen, I just have to keep my word and the rest of the summer she will be MIA to her friends. She doesn't do anything around the house, what more does she want. thanks for your response. I'll will keep you posted on what happen to her.
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
14 Jul 08
Hi kaleegirl, I have experienced that a lot when I was teaching..LOL! talking to parents whose kids are cutting classes! Some parents will do the same thing as you did.. Give some sanctions for them to learn and at the same time to stopped talking to friends who influenced the kids of doing such! Then, monitor closely by the time she'll be back at school..then, also talk to her why you need to do it..Sometimes kids don't understand what they are doing,,,they refuse to understand because they want to explore life with friends..And by guiding them through our constant advices and encouragement..I am sure she will just realize that you are doing this for her own sake!
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jul 08
Hi checapricorn, I think this was her idea. I know she did it because she is mad at me. I've tried talking to her, she at the age where she just won't listen to me. I tell my husband to talk to her. whenever I try, she will close the door on my face, she will roll her eyes at me or she will agree with everything I say, just to shut me up. I've told her time and time again. Keep me inform of your where abouts, I don't stop from going to her friends, to the mall, movies. she does all that and yet she turns around and does this. All I can say is that she is going to be very bored this summer. It's a good time to start reading books. I'll take them away her also, all reading material, painting, drawing, (just kidding) thanks for your response.
• United States
14 Jul 08
ohhh....Anyway, I wish the sanction will help her learn from her mistake!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jul 08
I hope so to. I told her that she could have an hour with her ipod, and computer. but there are no roll over minutes. she could acumulate her hours and use all at once also. I also let her use her ipod at night, since she told i snore. LOL
@ellie333 (21029)
15 Jul 08
Firstly well done you for taking the tough love approach she won't be missing it again will she eh! I have never had problems like this with either of my girls and my son is very young so I take him and collect. I would have takenthese privileges away from her too but maybe for a week or two rather than the whole summer as the attitude then could become rebellious in the why should I go now you've already taken everything away! Ellie :D
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jul 08
I'll give back her stuff in a couple of weeks, I just want her to know that I mean business and I don't want her to lie to me again. This will make her think twice before doing it again. she told me I get a high, taking all her stuff away. I told her she was right. She has been asking for she could listen to her ipod, and all I do is give her the look, "what do you think," she'll walk away.
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21029)
15 Jul 08
They push so much at that age, well done for not giving in to her. I have two girls 21 and 17 so have had many moments like this over the years believe me and I think you are doing the right thing here. She may not like you for what you are doing right now but she still loves you eh and she;ll thank you for it in years to come. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jul 08
I haven't had that problem but then again I work at the school my oldest attends. From the sounds of it you did the right thing. She needs to learn that she has responsibilities and that if she does wrong she is going to be punished. I agree with what you did, and I would have done the same thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 08
Hi Lovespecialangel, You're lucky to work at the school, this way you know if your kids are there or not. She was not happy when I told gave her the punishment. So what I did, was to let her use her things for an hour. She asked me if I was going to give back everything when schools starts, I told I had to think about it. I just don't want her to lie to me, be up front, tell me whats bothering you. She said that she will stated talking to me. I really hope so. thanks for responding.
• Canada
14 Jul 08
I don't have kids, so I really can't say. I do hae one question, though. If your mother left you a mesage to call her back because you were in BIG TROUBLE, would you call her back, therefore walking yourself right into a minefield? Just wondering. LOL I can undersand why you're upset, and you have every right to be. I hope things work out for the best. How old is your daughter?
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jul 08
Hi danish Heck no I would not call my mother back, I make the best of it, go home and see what happens.Danielle is 16. And we talked about this before, I told her that if wanted to stay from school she could, if you going to stay at a friends house let me know, I'm not going to get upset. Well her father called her and yelled at her and she's pretty scared of him. I just worry that something could happen to her and I wouldn't anything. I would hate to hear it from the cops. I use to be her age, and I also ditched school, but I never got caught. But I couldn't tell my mother that I wanted to stay home, because she get mad. I couldn't talk to my mother, I'm giving her a chance to talk to me and that she can trust me. but I guessed wrong. I'll keep you posted. thanks for your resonse.