ok, I need to know if I am being dumb about this

United States
July 14, 2008 2:58pm CST
My ex is coming back from Iraq and has asked if his girl friend would be able to pick up my daughter to take her down to where he is stationed so she is there when he gets back. Since the girl friend is already going to be in my area, I understand why he would ask this. Save gas, money, time, etc. Not an unreasonable request. A little background info...he cheated on me for over 11 yrs, emotional abuse and broke my heart more than I could ever express. We have been divorced for about a year now but I am still not really over it. I am trying though. I have come a long way from where I was when I first left him. Ok, so I have not offically met this girl and I really have no desire to at all. I have no reason to not trust her. She has been around my daughter (who is 12) and my daughter has no issues with her either. I have asked my sister to take my daughter to meet her for me. I thought this would be the best way to deal with the situation. I just got off the phone with him to try and work out the details and he made me feel like I was being imature and stupid about this. My sister totally agrees and understands how I feel but I thought I might post it here to see if there is another side of this that I am not seeing. What do you think?
2 people like this
4 responses
• United States
15 Jul 08
I wouldn't. You have not met her yet. Kids don't have the same "gut feelings" moms have. You have to know this lady a while before your daughter goes anywhere with her. Nope..child first. i wouldn't. He'll get over it, But until you know this person..to YOU she's a stranger. He cheated on you 11 years. Choices have consequences? Let him come see the daughter when he can, but I would never let myy child go off with a person I did not know well. Just my opinion.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Jul 08
I totally hear you. That was my gut reaction too. Thanks for your imput, I really do appreciate it. :)
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
14 Jul 08
You have every right to feel the way that you do and you're doing all of the right things under the circumstances. It's too bad your ex can't appreciate that but at least you have the support and assistance of your sister.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jul 08
Thanks so much :)
1 person likes this
@MoxieNox (54)
17 Jul 08
I totally agree with Gargoyle here.. You dont know this person so if your ex wants to see your daughter, he'll have to come to see her on your terms. And for him to tell you that you're being immature and stupid shows that he still has A LOT of growing up to do. If your sister is willing to bring your daughter to see him and STAY there the whole time so she can bring the daughter back home to you, then go for it, but otherwise, screw him. He can always call your daughter on the phone. The ex's girlfriend is a stranger, period. If she was his wife, then maybe it'd be different, but she isn't married to him so tough shyt! Always follow your gut instincts! A very, very wise Crone once told me that! *winks* *big hugs!*
1 person likes this
@angelface23 (2498)
• United States
22 Sep 08
Yeah I dont think that is an unreasonable request to have your sister go in your place. If you are uneasy about it then it's best to not put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. Who cares how he feels about it anyway. The only thing that should matter is that he is getting to see his daughter when he gets home, it shouldnt matter who takes her to meet his girlfriend.