Unruly & Autistic?

@Foxxee (3653)
United States
July 15, 2008 4:13pm CST
I'm not sure how everyone feels about all these headlines talking about how parents of Autistic children are being kicked out of certain places because the childs behavior…? For example, I heard one story that a mother got kicked off a plane because her kids were being unruly & one of her kids were Autistic.. Another story I heard was about a mother being kicked out of Church because her Autistic son was also unruly.. There is also another story that a family was asked to leave a restaurant because their Autistic child was screaming non stop.. My point for this thread is, a lot of people are furious that people can do this to the families of Autistic children.. Well, as a mother of an Autistic boy, I feel if my son was being unruly, I would leave on my own, out of respect for others and I wouldn't cry out…. "Oh my son is Autistic!" I think it's common sense as parents if our children are acting up, we should step out or leave whatever situation we are in, even if our child is Autistic or non Autistic. As for the whole flying situation… well if your not sure your Autistic child can handle the flight, I would find another way to travel. I know I would.. I'm not bashing because I myself have an Autistic child, but I work around him and if I don't think he can hold out long enough in a restaurant or a plane ride or whatever, then I have to find another way. It's life and we need to learn to deal with it in the best way we can… After all, we are the parents and we know our children better then anyone else, so we should be able to know what makes our children tick… My son hates being around crowds of people, so we avoid certain places to avoid a melt down… Anyway, what's your views on this?
5 responses
@ch88ss (2270)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Interesting topic. I certainly agree with you, it is much easier coming from the same side of the road. My daughter is autistic, she is five and doing much better with therpay. However, Since her birth I have not been on a real vacation. I am on always on the alert about any signs of her unruly behavior. Yes just like you I would leave the room if my child is acting up. First of all she is acting up because the place causes overstimulation, the noise, the lighting, the color of the walls, the sounds of too many people talking at the same. I usually can calm her down when it is just me and her. Once she is calm I can ask her what happen. She usually tells me she is upset and wants to go home. So for those parents that offer to explain their child is autistic but not offer to take the child away from the room, is not helping the child. Austitic children don't communicate and many are sensitive to lighting, sounds etc. So since you can't make everyone leave the room, removing your child from the room is actually a good alternative and a good break away for the child too.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
18 Jul 08
Excellent response! You took the words right out of my mouth! Your right that sounds, lights, & to many people talking at once can set an Autistic child off.. I feel parents should avoid situations like that if they have an Autistic child that has some sensory issues. We got lucky on our end and found a really nice, SMALL place that we go out to eat at every once in a while. It might have another family eating there when we arrive, but I have never noticed a lot of people eating there on the day we go. So we found something that works for us and alot of other parents should take the time to find the little small hole in the ground places to eat at and maybe it will work for their child, maybe it wont. But for sure, a busy place like Olive Garden and so on is out of the question...
@ch88ss (2270)
• United States
18 Jul 08
That is right. For the longest time, my family would buy to-go and we take it home to eat or go to the park and sit farthest away from everyone where it is quiet. That way my daughter can enjoy herself and we can enjoy ourselves too. Luckily enough we have a large enough backyard to enjoy a picnic.
• United States
17 Jul 08
I agree, if my child was Autistic I would try to avoid places that would possibly make them act out. As far as the plane goes I might try to do shorter trips with frequent stops just so they can get out and stretch a bit. All children act out at one time or another and most parents know to pull them aside and talk to them about it, no one should have to be kicked out of someplace though. I dont think it is right or fair.
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
16 Jul 08
I used to work for a place that housed and schooled autistic children. The place was actually a big joke. They did not dop much for these children. These children needed special care and attention that they did not receive at this place. Alot of the parents did not care for these children either. there were a few concerned parents who really wanted help for their children. The children were better off to be with their parents. some of them acted out more when their parents weren't around.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
16 Jul 08
I think you have a very wonderful attitude..I understand that you have a child that you have to tend to and for anyone with an autistic child it can be hard at times taking your child to certain places..People( some people can be very rude sometimes and that does not help...I am sure that the owners and managers of these places hates to ask anyone to leave,i know i would just feel so bad,but i can see that if the child is screaming to the top of their voice how it would be very distracting for everyone....I am like you if i had an autistic child i would be careful where i go and if my child did act up i would leave without anyone asking me..I always felt i was responsible for my children,i had five and i always watched my children and never let them act up so bad that i had to be asked to leave a place but i have left a place before because they were driving me crazy.haha...If a person knows their child ,and they should they will not put their child in situations that makes them upset or nervous.I think you are right,these parents should not have to be asked to leave,they should take responsibly for their child,i know i always did..On the lighter side,my husband use to have a friend at work that he really liked ,so he ivited him ,his wife and two boys to visit us...Those children were horrible,they went tearing though my home,beating on the furniture ,wild...One of the little boys took a bookend and beat it on my new coffee table and totally ruined it..Well the parents just sit there,never said a word...I mean these kids were brats..I did not blame the children ,i blamed the parents..After they left my husband and i agreed that we would never ask them back....So it just goes to show all children rather they are autistic or not can be a real problem without parents that just don't care....
• United States
15 Jul 08
I think I would do the same If I had an autistic child. One reason would be out of respect for others but Mainly for my own comfort you know? So I wouldnt have to worry about bothering others and to avoid going through all the trouble of trying to calm a child thats Not going to calm down anytime soon.