Husband is pissed Over my job what need some advice

United States
July 16, 2008 5:28pm CST
I work in retail .. I have not worked in years .. and last year I got tired of staying home and wanted to go to work.....my husband was all for it 100% .. well if you know retail you do have to work weekends.. I was hired as a chashier and worked my way up to asst manager I will be st my job 1 year in sept. I went from part time to full time I truly love my job and what I do .. anyway we have been short staffed and we are all working very hard. My boss ( a 57 year old female ) had to work from open to close today and has to do the same thing tomorrow .. I felt bad for her and told her I would come in to help her out sh she can get some rest. Since we are not allowed over time I would only beable to work 5 hours. .. when I told my husband I would be working in the evening he had a fit... he started yelling .. we were suppose to go to my son's camp and have dinner there and I totaly forgot .. I told him sorry I forgot .. he kept yelling .. about my job.. how I am always working and never have a weekend off .. I reminded him that it is retail and thats how works.. We never go out .. we never do anything together not even watch tv together, and I get board. another reason why I went to work .. when I told him this he was liek thats not the issue .. ( ughhh) I called my boss after my husband did not eat the dinner I made ( after being on my feet 9 hrs ) and told her I forgot about the dinner and I would love to help her out and I would open instead so she can still get some rest .. she was happy with that .. I have not told my husband yet .. but it just pisses me off that he just wants me sitting around the house while he watches his sports .. or his other shows .. I really love my job and love what I do .. I never ever yelled about him and his job .. I just don't think its fair .. mostly when we can use the extra $$$ becouse I love to shop .. any ideas or inputs I would love some advice..
2 people like this
4 responses
• Australia
16 Jul 08
I also wanted to work but my ex at that time said no he wanted me home to look after him and our son so for sixteen years I never worked .I have now been working for eight years and lol would really love to have some time off to be at home it seems we are never happy .For the moment you are on a high ,making money feels wonderfull ,give it a few years of working at the pace you are working at now and you will want to slow down. My advice is to put money away for when that time comes around and cut your working hours ,
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jul 08
I understand what you are saying .. I am full time .. I work anywhere from 32-40 hrs a week .. I have no little ones at home the only one left at home will be 16 at the end of this month. I am not happy being at home like I said when we are home together he's in one room I am in another .. his home is kept clean .. his meals are cooked .. there is no reason for him to be acting like this ..
1 person likes this
• Australia
16 Jul 08
my husband and I are never in the same room together for any length of time ,he's in where the t.v. is I'm on the computer in another room or it's the other way around . Have you asked him what is really bugging him ,he doesn't want you to qiit or to be with you ,do you earn more then he does.
1 person likes this
@Theresam (1181)
• United States
16 Aug 08
I am currently a sahm and do some pt stuff at home (ie answering phones at home and chacha) but I really need to get out of the house. So I am debating on whether should I get job out of the house and how it would effect my family's schedule.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Aug 08
it's hard to work around family and events .. depending on the kind of job you have .. me personally I started out part time cashier.. I am now an asst manager in the same store and full time . You could always get a part time job but sad to say in retail most places demands you work weekends.. In todays time sad to say both spouces need to work
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
16 Aug 08
You have to talk to him about how unfair it is. Its your job, you like it and you want to help out. Also you do not complain about your husband, his job and his activities (at least that's how it looks). The only thing I'd say is that you double-booked and on your son and family, but this happens with people all of the time. Most people don't even get a choice in the matter, typically because employment is obviously important. With the latter situation, its a common mistake and/or sacrifice. This should be discussed with your husband since you are in a relationship of compromise. As for his issues about not having enough time and missing some priorities, he has valid points too. One thing that could be done for both of you is to try and plan further ahead in your schedules to allow for family time, tv time, or just a good and quick getaway. From what I'm seeing, I think you could all use one. Decide what you want for your job, but also let your husband know about this and some of the ideas here. This can be resolved. It might take more effort on your part, but it can be resolved adequately. Best of luck Lafe. Ah, the only other thing I have to add is a different mylot discussion and perhaps my thoughts there could help you too. http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1603667.aspx?p=3
• United States
16 Aug 08
Thanks for the comments and advice.. I was able to rearrange my day for that event and we all went .. He has come around alot better .. I am now working mostly days .. only 1 or 2 bites a week .. so we get to have dinner together more often.. A matter of fact we did get to go out last nite just us and we had a great time ... Today we got to just lay in bed a cuddle this after noon for about 2 hours and just watch tv.. we are also planning a vacation to go to an island next year .. you gave great advice and thank you .. thank you for responding to my post as well :)
@click50 (68)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Some men get jealous when their wives are not always at hand. Not because they believe there is anything going on or anything, just because they view their spouses as theirs. They want them to be around to meet their needs. When a woman works. She gets ideas. She is no longer dependent on him and he gets scared. She is now in a position to leave him if she wishes and he doesn't know how to handle that. Maybe he feels neglected or that he now has to take a second seat to your job. You did say that you had made plans to go to your son's camp and have dinner and you forgot. Maybe he feels that you are placing your job above your family. It is good that you found an alternative way to help your boss and accomodate your husband. I would let him know that his feelings really mattered to you and that you are trying to correct your mistake. I understand your anger. I have been there many times. But anger, just makes things worse. Talk things over with your husband and your boss and maybe you can work out a compromise. Perhaps you could trade a shift with your boss so that you could have a weekend day off and work an extra shif during the week to ease her burden. Explain to your husband that you get a sense of fullfillment from your job and that good feeling could carry over into your relationship if he eased up a bit. Also, explain that you are trying to meet a definite need within your family. The best way to take care of this situation is to communicate not argue.
• United States
17 Jul 08
thank you for your comments very good advice.. I did work the morning shift so I would be free to go to my sons camp with my husband for the family dinner night .. My husband says he just misses me .l which I can understand.. as I explained to him when I a, home hes in front of the tv ( which we don't like the same shows and I hardly watch tv ) and I get board so work is my way out .. we shall see