I think a lot of people need attitude adjustments!

@dragon54u (31607)
United States
July 19, 2008 6:32am CST
I worked a temporary job for the past two weeks and noticed something--everyone was "alright" or "pretty good" when asked how they are. Those words were delivered with no enthusiasm and implied that the people weren't really alright! I heard this in person and on the phone when the other conversant would apparently ask how they were. I heard a motivational speaker a couple of years ago that changed my life for the better. He had people like these in mind. He said we have the power to shape our days by simply making a conscious decision in the morning that we were going to have a terrific day. When asked how we are, we must say we are wonderful and add something positive about the day or our lives. "I'm great today, how are you? Isn't it a beautiful morning?" is one of the correct ways to return a greeting. When you do this, you influence now only your own attitude but the other person's. Soon, you really will be great or terrific or wonderful and your days will be filled with optimism. You must decide when you get out of bed that it's going to be a great day and then your day will unfold that way. I think more people need to do this. I tire of hearing, "I'm okay" when a person has a great job, a beautiful family, their health and a bright future. They are blessed and should feel wonderful!! Do you hear people answer in negative or neutral terms when asked how they are? Do you agree that people need an attitude adjustment and that they should enjoy life instead of wishing for more? A simple change in how we answer "how are you?" will make such a positive impact in our lives! It will also make other people more optimistic. Do you agree?
3 people like this
11 responses
@Rosekitty (19443)
• San Marcos, Texas
20 Jul 08
Dragon..I can see where you are coming from but in a day to day experience with customers coming into my store asking me that..it gets very annoying..especially when they ask and look the other way..i greet everyone that comes in with a "hello or Morning" and 8 times out of 10 they don't say Morning or hello back but ask How are you? Now if they really cared they'd stick around and not walk away.So sometimes to just loosen the mood i go off with a complaint of having a headache or not feeling good with my back just to see their reaction to what they asked..I've found that its programmed into them to say this without realising that someone may just answer back..LOL..and its very funny to see them high tail it out of the store Like i'm some kind of nutcase..lol
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
20 Jul 08
That must be funny! Yes, dealing with the public is certainly no picnic and when they throw out that "how are you?" without really wanting an answer, it can get very irritating. Try saying you're doing great, it's a beautiful day outside and how is their day going? I wish "how are you?" would go away, it's so automatic. Even at the drive-thru windows of fast food places they ask that! They certainly don't want an answer!
@Rosekitty (19443)
• San Marcos, Texas
20 Jul 08
LOL..Maybe when they ask for our orders at the drive through with a "how are you" we should say "well i was wanting a burger but now i want you since I've just shot my last victim..and by the way..How are you?
1 person likes this
@shlooper (309)
• United States
19 Jul 08
I have to be honest, "how are you" has become such a common greeting in the United States I usually don't even answer the question. I know that 99% of the time, the person doesn't care how I REALLY am. I know this because we greet customers at work that way "Hi, how are you?" and my managers get irritated when people stand there and actually tell us how they are. Yes, it might be nice for people to answer in a more upbeat way, but to me, its just a casual greeting and I don't really respond or listen to the answers anyway, so I just stopped saying it.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
19 Jul 08
I have found that if I change the question to "I hope you're doing well this beautiful day!" with a smile, I get a very positive response and they don't unload on me. I'm wishing them well, maybe the only kind word they'll hear all day, and their subconscious registers that the day is a good one. I've been told it makes their whole day better! Try it, see how it goes. I'd be interested in hearing your customers' responses. I wish people wouldn't ask how we are when they really don't want to know. There has to be a better way of greeting people!
• United States
19 Jul 08
shlooper is right on the money when saying that "Hi, how are you," is the generic greeting for humans that it really has no value anymore. I actually try not to say it, along with overused phrases such as "good morning" (I work in radio and that phrase, psychologically, annoys listeners in the morning) so I try and personalize a greeting for everyone. For a lot of my co-workers, I say their name in a loud, friendly, how-ya-doin' way. Example: Miiiike, my man, what's the word?!? People need to spice things up, damn'it! lol
@enzabird (130)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I understand your desire for everyone to be upbeat and to stay positive. But what you are calling for is people to ignore the fact that they are having a crappy day. Sometimes letting all the tension out is therapeutic, rather than pretending it doesn't exist. We need a happy medium. don;t be mellow dramatic, but if you are having a whopper of a day, let the steam out. It will probably make you feel better.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
21 Jul 08
You're right, it's unhealthy to deny negative feelings. But if you try to think positive and repeat that you are doing great, in a few days your attitude will change. You'll begin seeing solutions to problems instead of being hit with a black cloud. You'll also see the brighter side of things--like I forgot to bring a magazine to read at lunch, so I read the company trade magazine and learned some things I didn't know about how cranes work. Forgetting my magazine was a good thing and benefited me! Getting up late for work, I figure I probably missed being in a bad spot where an accident was (and I'm usually right about that). There's good sides to everything and training yourself to think positive opens your eyes to all kinds of good things. When you're having a really crummy day, confiding in a close friend is very therapeutic but there's no need to cloud others' day with your misery.
@clstar08 (68)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I agree completly. By showing some optimism, people will have better, happier lives. I will admit to being a culprit however. "I'mokay" (said as one word, just like that) has become my standard response to the question, "How are you?" I will try to change this now. Thanks for the thoughts to ponder.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I'm so glad I could be of some help. Have a wonderful week!
19 Jul 08
Hello dragon54u, I do agree with you, there are too many people who feel negative and look it, you don't have to say anything but just gave them a big smile that will help. I was going to work one morning feeling fed up with everything then this person walked by and stared at and smiled, this great big smile had set me up for the whole day and I felt happy. Tamara
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
19 Jul 08
We can have a positive influence on a lot of people, and it could be the only smile or kind word someone gets all day. I've often been the recipient of a kind word or a smile that made my day better.
@excellence7 (3477)
• Mauritius
19 Jul 08
I agree with you friend. Nowadays even the least smile or words of greetings may have a good effect on people's minds. Attitude is a very important thing and we must all learn to develop positive attitude. This will help us to better understand each other and to live better in society.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
19 Jul 08
It would be nice if each country's leaders would think that way, it would be a much nicer world.
@madhan2u (488)
• India
19 Jul 08
Yes i Agree with you brother.. To JUST ADD UP How can one be Optimistic?It will be described by the following: "Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of Mind.Talk health,happiness,and prosperity to every person you meet.Make all your friends feel that you appreciate their good qualities and strengths .Look at the sunny side of everything.Think only of the best,and expect only the best.Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater acheivements of the future.Give every one a smile. Utilize your spare time on improving yourself so that you wont have time to criticize others.Be too big for worry and too noble for anger" i think this part will be useful for you friends.............
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
19 Jul 08
That's about the best advice anyone can ever give or take heed of. Thank you!
• Philippines
19 Jul 08
I do agree with you. It seems that people have already been used to responding "I am okay" when asked how they are doing. There are also times when people respond negatively. Like they would tell you how bad their day is and how they think things will get worse as the day prospers. I have been responded to by some people with lines like "Still surviving despite life's difficulties", "Well, still poor", "I hope I could tell you that I am okay." I do agree with you, I think it is about time that we answer such question with optimism. But that is really easier said than done...
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
19 Jul 08
It was very hard for me at first to make positive answers and not tell everyone what a lousy day I was having. But telling myself it would be a great day in the morning changed my days very quickly and I began focusing on the good points in my life. It was particularly hard for me because I was going through a very nasty divorce at the time--but it was the best thing I did because it helped me through that time and still affects my life for the better. I think a positive attitude goes a long way toward winning life's many battles.
• United States
19 Jul 08
Ok, first I need to add that I had a lengthy response ready to submit but then I hit "submit" and MyLot logged me out automatically while I was typing so I had to retype this whole thing - I think I might need an attitude readjustment! ;) I agree with you to some extent. The motivational speaker had something there when he said the bit about adding something of value when talking about your daily life. When you say something along those lines as you described such as, "isn't it a beautiful morning," then you not only give a happy, friendly greeting to the person you are talking too, but you also reassure yourself that you are having a great day. There is a great deal of psychological aspects to this, and it's all in your head - think hard enough that you are having a great day, and you really will. But I don't think that people need attitude adjustments, per se. People have sooo much going on in these fast-paced, hectic 24-hr crunches that we call "lives" that they get tuned out and miswired time-to-time. There is certainly not enough "me" or "down" time for each person to analyze that, holy crap!, they might not be having a bad day at all! People need to slow down, "smell the coffee" so to speak, and see what a great day each day can be. Oh, and I'm having a FANTASTIC morning; it's a sunny, clear, warm Saturday morning and I'm listening to some great music.
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
19 Jul 08
You've already adjusted your own attitude from that logging out! Very well done! I used to hate it when that happened to me. When I hit 500 posts, I could copy/paste and I'd copy before I hit submit so that very thing wouldn't get the better of me! Yes, I agree that life is too fast nowadays. It's because people are so fixated on financial concerns and material things. Maybe if the lovely days are pointed out to them enough times, they'll slow down a little? A vain hope, no doubt, but I think the current economic crises will bring a lot of people back to reality if it ripens into more than a recession. I don't want it to, but maybe that's what we need to make us realize what's truly important in life--our families, our health, and the beauty around us.
• United States
19 Jul 08
Having a positive attitude is very important throughout your life. Always remember that we all do have good times and bad times. As someone else has mentioned, many people ask how you are but just do it as a common term in conversation. They really only want an "OK" answer out of you because they called you to talk about them self, most of the time. Some of us have true friends that we can talk to and openly share stuff with. We learn how to weed out the gossips and the ones that hinder our own growth in life. A few years back a friend of mine told me something that has changed my life. I had been dealing with some very rough times and when she asked me how I was doing, I told her that I was "fine". She laughed and asked me if I knew what saying that while under emotional stress meant. So, think on this f - f---ed up i - insecure n - neurotic e - emotional Her answer fit me to a T! Life is what you make out of it. Positive thinking will help you deal with most things. When a man is down, hear him out and then, help him get back up!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Wow, what a wonderful friend she is! I will have to remember that one and spread it around a bit when appropriate! Yes, we pretend quite a bit. We have to because of that "how are you?" that's constantly asked when people have no interest in the answer. It reminds me of that horrible "have a nice day" that went around in the 70's and still pops up today at times. It became so common that it was meaningless. I started changing it to "have a great afternoon/evening/morning" or "I hope your day goes well". Fight the platitudes!
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
19 Jul 08
[b]It really become common everyday to answer simple question. If somebody ask me how I'm doing or how am i today? Can i answer i'm feeling down. That would elicit questions and more look of concern. So, sometimes it's better to answer " i'm fine". And then it stop there. Just like that. But you are right. What you started in the morning will be the outcome of your day. Like if you are happy and cheerful your whole day will stay that way.[/b]
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
19 Jul 08
So, start fooling yourself! When people ask you that, answer that you're great, terrific, feeling wonderful! In a few days, you'll see real changes in yourself and those around you. I don't mind if people answer that they're not alright. I'll take a few minutes to listen. What else do we have but time? A few moments cheering someone up or lending a sympathetic ear won't be the end of the world and could help immensely.