'For Better, for Worse, till death do us part'?

@zandi458 (27954)
Malaysia
July 19, 2008 1:52pm CST
For Roman catholic marriages, this vow is often taken as bible truth. When a couple made their vows, no mention is made of possible divorce. Each party swears infront of the priest to take each other for better...for worse.If we looked upon it as irrevocable, we should enter upon it with more care and solemnity. But what will happen if a wife commit adultery or the husband, does this vow automatically become obsolete. Does the church allows divorce for adultery? Whats your opinion?
6 people like this
19 responses
• United States
19 Jul 08
Yes, I believe that is probable cause for a divorce. It is even in the bible which I read for myself. But I am sure there are many that dont agree with that or find it much concrete. God gave us common sense and wisdom. I am sure he wants us to respect marriage as being sacred but he doesn't want us to take abuse or anything like that.
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
The denial of divorce never served to deter people from adultery. It is in the ten commandments.
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
19 Jul 08
Hi zandi458, The Roman Catholic church does not condone divorce but recommends counselling. Jesus Christ made the Christian position on divorce very clear in Matthew 5:32. I believe however that the position he took on divorce was meant more for the people of that particular time in history, when most women without a husband to support her was in dire straights. While I believe that many breakups are unnecessary no one should stay in an abusive relationship. If we are to reduce the divorce rate, marriage has to be taken more seriously than it is by some at present. At the first sign of trouble, couples should seek counselling. I think that all churches should allow divorce under reasonable circumstances. Blessings.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
The knowledge that they were not allowed to separate and remarry nearly always tended to induce husbands and wives to minimize differences which they might otherwise have magnified into occasions for separation.
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
21 Jul 08
Very true.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
19 Jul 08
I am not really sure but to me adultery should be terms for a divorce in any case.
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
Divorce for adultery was allowed by Christ. It is in the Ten Commandments.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
21 Jul 08
You are correct I remember. Thou shalt not commit adultry.
1 person likes this
@anawar (2406)
• United States
19 Jul 08
I don't know if the Catholic Church condones divorce. I think they would suggest counseling. However, sometimes we can't follow every rule of our religion. I don't know the rules now, but last time I heard, in the case of adultry, you can get an annulment. When we take our vows in front of friends, family, priest and our diety, the thought of divorce weighs heavily on our minds. I decided after years of berating myself that I meant forever at that moment. The relationship turned abusive and forever was over. I had a friend who cheated on her husband. My friend went to her pastor asking for advice. He told her she must tell her husband, and she did. Her husband said he understood and he knew it was his fault that she sought comfort another man. He forgave her and she forgave him and the marriage continued.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
The husband is great. I salute the husband for taking back the wife despite her confession of having an affair. This only shows that he loves his wife dearly.
@anawar (2406)
• United States
21 Jul 08
My friend was surprised by her husband's reaction. I think she did the right thing and by doing so, saved her marriage You're right. He must love her very much. I never thought of it in those exact terms before. I wonder how many people would confess cheating on their partner?
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jul 08
Its actually very akward i asked my grandmother that question and she told me that it´s not right to divorce even for adultery, i am not sure if the response she gave me is accurate and up to date....
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
Older generations have conservative thinking about divorce. They for one never cross their mind the word divorce and would remain steadfast through thick and thin. The occasional fling of their husbands does not prompt them to demand for a divorce. But today in this modern society adultery means a read card...GO . We lack tolerance.
• United States
19 Jul 08
abrahamic law allowa divorce in such cases anf so so should the church!
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
Even if Christ allowed divorce for adultery, he never gave sanction to remarriage.
• Canada
19 Jul 08
My huband and I did not have a church wedding. We wanted to make the point that we were vowing our love and commitment to eachother, wit no pressure rom so called outside autorities. We are totally committed to eachother. Adultery would be a deal reaker for us. We don't need to worry though, because we are totally ommitted to eachother.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
When you're really committed to each other, fear not for satan tempatation. The strong bond and commitment will circumvent any temptations that will rig a strong relationship.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
20 Jul 08
these words are said in civil marriages too . but I dont think the Catholic chirch allows divorces lightly or didnt was hard to get one if you are chatholic!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
The catholic church is strict on divorces. Once married in church one will never get another chance of church blessing if there happen to be remarriage.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
21 Jul 08
well if they marry a 2nd time they already know that. BUt then some will not care!
1 person likes this
@bombshell (11268)
• Germany
20 Jul 08
i guess the catholic church would not agree on divorced,i guess they sudgest counselling first. my hubby and i did man marry in church and so far we are 9 yrs soon and no cheated happen yet and i hope it will stay that way.
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
Wish you a happy marriage.The catholic church is very strict on divorces.
@bombshell (11268)
• Germany
21 Jul 08
sorry i did write wrong and missing words in my first reply.what i mean is we did not marry in church. yes the catholic church has no divorce.
1 person likes this
@_sketch_ (5711)
• United States
20 Jul 08
If one of the people commits adultery that person is breaking the vows, not the other person for leaving them. Adultery is one of the 10 commandments. I'm pretty sure that the church allows divorce for breaking any of the 10 commandments.
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
Even the 10 commandments did not deter catholic couples from committing adultery. It only ease their intention of divorcing the wife/husband.
@_sketch_ (5711)
• United States
26 Jul 08
True. Either way I dont think that people should stay together if something like that happens or if they are unhappy. Marriage shouldnt be an enslavement or obligation. It should be a representation of your love. If your love ends, so should the marriage. just my opinion.
1 person likes this
@austere (2816)
• Philippines
20 Jul 08
i want to say that vows to the guy whom i really love, and who loves me right back, my boyfriend and are planning to get married two years from now, but knowing that there are chances that we might end up separated because he might like somebody else, while he is married to me, just makes me feel not wanting to marry him at all..i just want to be married happy, and i want my marriage to last, i don't know what lies in he future, but i can only pray about how uncertain it is.
• France
26 Jul 08
Has i understand it, you can split up but not remarry or sleep with anyone else, because you are married for life if you are a catholic, which we are, we have been together for a long time, we've had our problems but you battle on.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
21 Jul 08
I was born and raised Catholic but gosh, it's been many many years since I've practiced it however, I know it's rules have changed quite a bit over the years in which has become more and more lenient. Some I agree with and some I don't and to answer your question, I think they would rather see a couple try and work out their differences and if they can't then they would allow the divorce to take place.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
If the marriage has broken down, the only choice is to annul the marriage.
@Scarrlet (168)
• Ukraine
20 Jul 08
I think that now there is a minority of people who take the vow literally. Laws in Catholic countries still allow the divorce to happen, and people already know that they are not obliged to confess to a church for the divorce. I will get married soon; me and my husband will not have a wedding in a church. We have given each other vows already, and this is our own responsibility on how we will treat our marriage. As it was mentioned before, people do change, and many divorces also have happened with those who sincerely wished happiness for their marriage. The most important thing is for people to understand the importance of their mistakes, and keep learning with experience.
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
Marriage is full of trail and error. We have to work hard to make the marriage work. Even a serious crime of adultery in marriage could still be forgiven if we apply an open mind attitude.
@lazeebee (5468)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 08
Yup, whether the marriage is conducted in or out of church, the vow should be taken seriously. I suppose at that point of time, the bride and groom will honor and cherish that vow, but as time passes, people change. So church wedding or temple ceremony, the vow is forgotten. I don't know if the catholic or other churches condone divorce, but if the marriage could not be saved, isn't it better for the parties to separate? Adultery is one of the main reasons for marriage breakups. It's a like a breach of trust - I think if my partner has committed adultery, I'd not be able to trust him again. Life with him will be totally meaningless, so I guess the best solution is divorce.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
I agree wholly on your views. If trust is lost, love automatically evaporates so what is the point to hang on to a loveless marriage.
@SHAMRACK (8379)
• India
20 Jul 08
Dear friend, That would a worse situation may be it mostly effects on the child and if the husband love his girl child his would be a mess and those who care for relationship trust would face a real psychological mess. If divorced I hope the children loving parents may give their child a choice and the child may have mess on their if divorced parents fight for them.
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
Children always become the victim in any divorces. They are the center of custody between husband and wife.
• Nepal
20 Jul 08
In my consideration the church never allows the divorce because the church is quite bounded by the religion. As I am hindu my religion also doesnot allow to break up the relation it believe that the couple are made in heaven . So it may be true that no religion allows to break the relation of marriage.
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
I believe that marriages are made in heaven and surely no religion allows divorce.
@reckon21 (3487)
• Philippines
20 Jul 08
This is usually we heared when someone is getting marriage. Mostly of this vow doesnt mean true.Many couples of today did not last forever in their marriaged. It really defends on how the couple love each other.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
Yes, i agree with you.
• United States
20 Jul 08
if it for love your worse will be better and your better. to me if you commit adultery husband are wife the marriages donot become automatically obsolete.yes some church doallows divorce because of adultery
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
If one commit adultery it only takes the other partner to forgive the wrong doer. Solve the problem amicably and don't jump to divorce.
• United States
19 Jul 08
I think a couple should at least try to work out the problem. I am speaking about adultery as well. A person should never just throw in the towel because there are thorns that show up in the marriage. I think that in some situations there is no other thing to do than divorce. But adultery is not one of these. I think the couple should find out why this happened and try to work at fixing whatever is at the root of the problem. If you try to do this and things can still not be worked out than I think than and only than the divorse should go ahead.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 08
I do agree with your idea. We have to have tolerance in our marriage. Adultery is a serious offense in any marriage but it happened for some reason and is best that we find the true cause before contemplating divorce.