A hypothetical situation

@SomeCowgirl (32273)
United States
July 22, 2008 2:47am CST
Gentleman, If you were in a serious relationship with a woman who was at first caring and loving and bought you things, but then later on started to become more shopping friendly with money that was not her own (as she had quit her job) but was rather yours, would you stay with her? Even if she was your fiance, would you? Would you stay with her if she made you feel as if it was always your fault for the various tickets the two of you have acquired and the fees that seemed to get higher? What if she had opportunities to obtain money from her own taxes and yet neglected to file them? Would you stay with her if she constantly acted like a child? I am a woman and have never spent money that was not mine, not since I have realized the value of money. I have never spent mine and my fiance's money. However, I have known of someone who has done this and it only makes me feel bad for the girl's fiance as I know that he has handled her harsh words and bickering. I appreciate everyone's responses but ask that you please be serious in your responses to me, with not only this but all of my discussions. Have a wonderfully lovely day!
2 people like this
5 responses
@ratyz5 (7831)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
If after confronting that person and clearly stating how bothering a behavior like that is yet, still continue to act the same way, I'll confront that person again but, this time, I'll stress my disapproval and may as well consider taking each of our separate ways. At these times, its hard to earn money and those even in a relationship should help out each other even in financial matters since it concerns them both. Now, being mistreated? I guess I can tolerate a few constructive criticisms if I really do deserve them but, if its something that happens often even though I am able to accomplish things that are worth recognizing, I might as well fight back and let her taste her own medicine by mentioning her careless regard for spending money that she didn't even earn. People can change, it only depends on every individual if they want to or not.
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
22 Jul 08
I agree with you in saying that you will confront the person and then if nothing is made out of that, then stress the disapproval. This person doesn't just insult her fiance, she insults him in a language that he doesn't understand very well. I know that it is picking, but this girl will do it so very often and it's really bothersome if you think about it as the man does not know what she is saying. I appreciate your response to me and I hope that you have a very wonderfully lovely day.
2 people like this
@ratyz5 (7831)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
Alienating her own fiance with a language that she only understands and even if we could not understand her words, the tone alone implies her selfish regard for her fiance. I hate to say this but, if I was in that situation, I'd just have to tell my fiance's parents, together with mine as well, of what's been happening. Yeah, I know, this isn't a grown up way to deal with things that couples are going for but, I'd still want to hear their opinion about it since they have been couples as well and may have answers that newly engaged couples have yet to realize. I don't want my fiance to be around while I ask my 'perhaps-to-be' in-laws and parents of what they could suggest. As much as possible, not accept their own aid in the matter but only words for me to ponder on. I guess this should've been the first one that I'd do and only resort to confronting her after I've evaluated everything possible to consider in maintaining a fair treatment within the relationship.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I am not sure but in the culture that these two people are in, it may seem an insult for the fiance to bring this up to the parents of his fiance. If nothing else, it may anger the father of the girl and get her scolded which in turn will only rile the anger that she may feel towards it, and really only hurt the relationship. I appreciate your response to me and I hope that you have a very wonderfully lovely day.
2 people like this
@hellcowboy (7383)
• United States
23 Jul 08
Baby unfortunately I have to say that I know the women you speak of even though I kind of wish I did not,but if I was dating or engaged to someone like her and she did not have a job,and decided to be very shop happy with money we were saving,especially if we were saving money for a house of our own,then I would get a little angry,and if she tried to blame me for everything that happened,such as tickets I would turn around and throw it right back in her face,and if she tried to not file her taxes,I would try to talk her into filing especially since we could use the money she would get back,and if she constantly acted like a child I would treat her like a child,and every time she tried to go shopping or something I would smack her hand and say no, and see how long she kept it up,I would most likely put up with it for a while,but if it kept up for a long period of time,I would give her three warnings that something has to change,and after those warnings I would say its either me or her selfish,childish money spending,and if she chose to continue with her ways,I would leave her,and find someone that would treat me right,because no man deserves that,but luckily I have you baby,so I do have to worry about this,because I know you would never do the things that she does,because you love me too much to do so,just like I love you to much to do so,and I am happy to give you my input on this topic,and I hope you get a lot of relevant quality filled responses,and that everyone who responds gives this discussion the seriousness that it deserves,I love you.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I am so glad that we have found one another and that we both know and are secure in the knowledge that neither of us would be so spend thrifty with our money. However, even though I know that she bothers you I want to say that you should pay her no mind, as you know the saying Mind over matter or we don't mind and she doesn't matter. I love you very much and I am so happy that I have found you! I appreciate your response to me as well as the hope that I do get a lot of relevant responses.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jul 08
I am glad that we have found each other,and I am glad that neither of us would be spend thrifty with our money,and yeah she does bother me,but I know I should pay her no mind,because you are right we do not mind,and she does not matter,I love you with all my heart and soul,and I will gladly respond to any of your discussions where I feel I can add something,have a great day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
Uhm, I know someone who always ask money from her boyfriend and spend it on shopping. Well, the guy's been showering her woman the money. It's both their fault. I mean, why would she tolerate the woman's behavior right? If they love each other, they can be honest to each other. The man can tell his girlfriend gently that since they're getting married, they should save for the future and curb her spending. If they are to be married, he might as well see to it that his future wife can handle the budgeting side of their finances. If she splash his money every now and then while they're still engage, she can do more when they become married and become one. I wish they'll be able to talk about it with open minds. It's such a waste to see a relationship thrown away just because of money matters..
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I agree on what you said about it being a waste to see the relationship thrown away because of money matters. The situation I am speaking of, i'd rather not say is the fault of the male as he is a very nice and generous person and I feel that he is being compromised. I appreciate the response!!
1 person likes this
@mizcash (686)
• Canada
22 Jul 08
I would dismiss her. She has not shown to be responsible at all, she quit her job......to do what? She spending carefree what she doeswn't have and the bickering has started already and the wedding has not taken place. She's got to go or she'll be taking him down with her.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
22 Jul 08
I agree with you and i have to say very well said! I appreciate your response tome, and have a very wonderfully lovely day.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
22 Jul 08
well if you love your girl friend, fiance, wife, you will never mind her spendings untill you can afford it.. well if its more then your earnings then it is the time to make a serious discussion.. this doesn't happen if your girlfriend is sensable and mature enough to understand your relations and financial position. i don't understand once would just want to waste money of her lover just as a habbit.. unless you really want hime to get bankrupt..heheh.. have a wonderfull lovely days as well !
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
22 Jul 08
I agree that a serious discussions should be made for the actions of the girl and the way she is treating her fiance. I appreciate your response to me!
1 person likes this