How desperate are women to find a partner when they get older?

Malaysia
July 24, 2008 6:04am CST
Hey there, in the world I live in, most women get really desperate to find a partner when they reach 20. Some will resort to measures they wouldn't think of when they were younger. For example, some might try to contact boys that they rejected before because they couldn't find Mr.Perfect so they would settle for Mr. Less-Than-what-they-really-wanted. What do you think of this? Is it a maturing process or it is a pathetic act of desperation?
5 people like this
11 responses
@ellie333 (21029)
24 Jul 08
Hi When you said older I thought you meant older like me at 45 and to be quite honest even though it would be nice to have someone to share my life with in this way I am actually happier on my own. I met someone who I married when I was 23 but wasn't desparate to settle then either he just happened along the way at the time and even though we are no longer together we have beautiful children from that marriage so it wasn't a waste. I think there is something wron with a woman being desparate at any age but very sad if they are only 20. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
25 Jul 08
Hey there, yeah i should've put there older girls. Typo. In the world I live in where girls are still controlled by their parents at 20 plus, they are usually very homely and do not dare to get too adventurous with their lives and thus, need a man to lead them in life.
2 people like this
@ellie333 (21029)
25 Jul 08
It just goes to show how many different cultures there are on myLot and how we all view things from a different perspective depending on where we come from eh! Ellie :D
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
25 Jul 08
Yup... So it's ok for girls to marry late there?
2 people like this
@joliefille (3697)
• Philippines
24 Jul 08
I am inclined to think it is an act of desperation. I know what it feels like, I'm almost in my 30s myself. I know for a fact my friend flirted with her coworker. She didn't even have any regrets about it. She's 31 years old already and having broken things off with his ex at the time was tough for her. The ex cheated on her. She knew she didn't have more time to mope and sulk. She did try to get her crush but well, she ended up with the best friend of her crush.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
25 Jul 08
Well.. Love is a funny thing, huh?
2 people like this
• Philippines
29 Jul 08
Yeah it is. For her case she found it in an unexpected situation.
@PearlGrace (3172)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Hello koharukusumi. You have posed a very interesting situation. I can speak for myself in saying that when I was much younger--teen years and early 20s--having a boyfriend or man in my life was very important. I was compelled to be with a man all the time. I think that in some cultures, if a woman doesn't have a partner, she's seen as unlovable or someone who "can't" get a partner. I know now that having a partner should be a choice for everyone--they should have a partner if they want one, not to make themselves or other people think better of them as an individual. It seems to me that if more young women would spend their time and emotional energy on getting education, working hard, and creating a life they love for themselves, they would have much happier lives in the long run. Maturity does bring with it some wonderful things like self-confidence and self-esteem. And if you have these 2 characteristics, then you know that you do not need a man to survive or enjoy life. Although it's nice to find the "right" partner, settling for less is never a good plan. Good luck and do take care.
• Malaysia
27 Jul 08
Hey there PearlGrace, I really respect women who do not need men to survive. However, in my place, most are very dependent on men even the one with careers. It's a funny world I live in.
2 people like this
26 Jul 08
It all depends very much on the woman involved.There are lots of women who would love to find the right partner and settle down to have a family ,and do all of that while they are still young,but often its not possible because they just dont meet Mr Right.Religion sometimes dictates that a young woman should be married and start her family at a young age.But on the whole I dont thinkthat women are deperate,most women I know are just coasting along and enjoying life,and if that special man comes along ,then so be it,the wedding bells will start ringing then.But there is no hurry for any female to settle down,she will know when the time is right,and theman she has met is the one for her,so lets all take our time,and make sure that when we say our wedding vows that its to the right man.
• Malaysia
27 Jul 08
Well ella1bella, mr.right is hard to find and sometimes they are only a few of them and if you search too long you might be too old then. How long must we wait for mr.Right?
1 person likes this
@padma84 (98)
24 Jul 08
in 20's and that is being older? can't understand. I thought women would start loking for apartner only when they cross 25 or so..may be things are different...Iam confused over the fact that it is a maturing process or a pathetc act of despair
• Malaysia
24 Jul 08
hey there padma, it's just that when 20, some girls go to college and then they have frens who have boyfriends and already planned for marriage therefore some are very scared that they might not get one when they go to work as it is hard to build a relationship that will lead to a marriage. In my place, it's a goal in life for girls to get married. Is this situation a maturing process for women or a pathetic act of despair.
1 person likes this
@Tianna2 (1274)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Well, I guess its true that as you get older your more willing to accept the flaws of the guys more then when I was younger. I'm 29 and still single and every day I'm trying to find mister right but he hasnt knocked down my door yet. When I was younger nobody seem to meet my standards and when I did find someone, either I wasnt good enough for them or I found some way to chase them off and in all honesty, I wasnt really ready for a permenant realtionship when I was younger, I'm not really sure I'm ready for one now but I'm looking anyway! Hugs, Tianna
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
24 Jul 08
Hey there, good luck to you in finding mr.Right. Don't wait too long though.
1 person likes this
• India
24 Jul 08
Irrespective of age, I think all women are desperate for that perfect partner. Dunno how older women think but they're well settled, it might only be lust they seek.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
24 Jul 08
Well most of them here choose their partner not because of lust rather it is becare of the paranoia of not getting a guy before 30 years old.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18462)
• India
24 Jul 08
i think it may be true in many cases. but there are exceptions everywhere. some are happy to be single. in some parts its new way of life.
1 person likes this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I think it can be either, but a lot of women as they get older give up on men. The idea of living alone or with roommates is not so bad after all. Other times, we make a mistake and going back to an old love is not a bad idea. The people who knew us when we were younger just may have more potential, as they have the ability to remember us the way we were!
• Malaysia
25 Jul 08
In my society, unmarried women always get jealous seeing their friends having a happy marriage. I have this fren who is really pretty at high school. A lot of guys chased after her but she rejected all of them becoz they were not good-looking enough. Now 24, her bf is not good-looking at all. In my society, women are not so strong unlike in other more developed countries.
1 person likes this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Here we still have a double standard! Men can do what they like and get away with it easier than women can. Women still want to get married in their twenties, after college, as it is much easier to have babies at that age and still chase them when you have to! Men, on the other hand, want to stay single as long as possible and do not consider being single in their thirties as a problem. Women here still get paid less than men, even for the same job!
• Malaysia
26 Jul 08
Well, I don't know if we can start blaming God but women are in this type of dilemma because it's hard for them to have children later in life. And women are created weaker than men, that's why they are paid less.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Jul 08
20 is still too young to be desperate, 40 years old is the age of desperation, i think.
• Malaysia
28 Jul 08
Hey there, it differs in the place I live in. Girls get desperate in the early 20's
@patzel88 (3311)
• Philippines
27 Jul 08
i think they are desperate that they will remain single in their age. but what is really important there if you are really ready a long last commitment to a person and be a responsible woman to them.