Why are people so rude when giving advice?

@o2bnocn (2895)
United States
July 24, 2008 10:55am CST
Do you ever feel like a person is being rude or bossy when they are giving advice? I sometimes feel like that. There are certain people who can sound like they are just trying to tell you what to do. Sometimes you don't even ask that person or anyone for advice! You could just be telling them a story. I realize that some people probably are trying to be genuinely nice and give you advice, but there are other people who tell you what to do and that is suppose to be the end of the conversation. Do you ever notice that with people?
1 person likes this
14 responses
• United States
25 Jul 08
We're not being rude, we're being blunt. We don't beat around the bush when it comes to stating the obvious. We're just saying what other people are afraid to. (I use the term "we" and "I" because I am one of those people who sometimes gets insinuated to be a rude person when giving advice - I'm really not, I'm a nice guy! lol) I use sarcasm a lot and some people don't get the feel that it is sarcasm and think it is rudeness. Yes, those jeans turn your stomach into a muffintop. You talk too loud on your cell phone. Why are you such a slow driver? :) That was sarcasm. //I think my MyLot rating is about to go down// lol
@o2bnocn (2895)
• United States
25 Jul 08
You think your mylot rating is about to go down. That made me laugh.
@poshboy (312)
• Indonesia
25 Jul 08
yup, that's why i always pick the right person that i think can give me an advice in a nice way, even if they critize me, i'll accept that as long as they tell it nicely :) but if i'm dealing with people who likes to judge other people, i better shut my mouth up and tell them nothing or else i'll be judged by them with harsh & jugding words LOL
@o2bnocn (2895)
• United States
25 Jul 08
That is actually a good idea. If you need advice to go to someone who you know will really give you helpful advice and not be rude about it. Some people just want to tell you what to do or like you were saying judging you over it.
@movicont (495)
• United States
25 Jul 08
I think sometimes it's just the way they talk. They might not realize that they're being rude--they might actually think that they're doing some good by telling you the truth. It would probably be best to let them know that you're not really interested in their advice--that you liked the decision you made. If they still don't back off, then they're being rude. Otherwise, it's always best to clarify with them first.
25 Jul 08
i dont now why pepole are so rude why giveing avdise i think it is because they think they are big and smart
@guybrush (4661)
• Australia
25 Jul 08
I think when it's written down, it can be hard to tell the tone of someone's voice. You have to be careful when you give advice online that you don't sound 'preachy' or arrogant, and it's very hard to tell sometimes. It can be very easy to misinterpret someone's tone and think they are being rude or mean, when really they are just trying to explain something clearly.
@o2bnocn (2895)
• United States
25 Jul 08
I totally agree. I was talking about people giving advice over the phone or in person though. I agree with you about giving advice online because you can't hear the person, they could be really trying to help.
@kaysue4 (951)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I have one friend/family member that is like this also. She tells me all of the time that I should just give my one son to the state and have him adopted. My son has all kinds of issues and if he doesn't take his meds then he gets really mean. I try to have some compassion when giving advice because that is what I would like someone to do to me.
@o2bnocn (2895)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I don't know your friend/family member but I think that is a little harsh. I think I would get kind of made with her if she told me that I should just give a son that I have to the state and have him adopted. I don't think that is right, Even if he does get mean sometimes.
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
25 Jul 08
you run into all kins of folks.i don't think some of them even know how they come across. if i don't want to listen to them i just tune them out.
@AshleyHasan (1024)
• India
25 Jul 08
Yes, they are called to be dictators I hate such kind of people if I ask any one for advice I first want them to listen completely and then suggest me in a good manner if they are rude in giving me the advice I never follow or take their advice not only that if any situation arise in future I never ask them again.
@clowdine (1402)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
Every now and then they show up in my life's scenes. Of course, they would always imply the entitlement to individual differences but I'm wondering what if they choose to be prudent and wise by being able to conquer their emotions and be perceptive just for once.
• United States
25 Jul 08
Advice is one thing everyone knows. Usually they are harsh because they do know the right thing to do but would never do it themselves. The advice is usually for themselves also.
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
yeah! there are those people who are giving advices to the extent of making you cry! haha! why? coz their words are so powerful...really powerful! those words will mark a pain in you!
@jstaubin (423)
• United States
25 Jul 08
Most people are rude when they are giving advice. I don't think that most people are trying to be rude or bosy but sometimes when they are giving you advice they are thinking what and idiot or they are annoyed that you are doing something or have done something that they think is dumb or immature. I think that is why they sound so bossy or rude.
@amerikag (117)
• United States
24 Jul 08
yes as a matter of fact i feel just like that sometimes!!! specially because im an person who dont like anybody what to do! but i guess i get like that sometimes too! its normal
@bea2008 (73)
• Philippines
24 Jul 08
Hi! Maybe they are not aware that they sound like rude. Or maybe they just talk like that. But the point is, its not the way they deliver the advice to you but the point of reasoning and the lesson that the adviser wants to give you. Application is the hardest part so take an extra effort on that. Just always smile and the world will smile back to you. God bless!
@lrglara (1343)
• Philippines
24 Jul 08
yup... so many times. i always say "are you mad or something?. im just telling you a story, im not asking for you opinion." they became awfully quiet after that. hahaha! :)) but i do tell that sometimes especially to friends. i dont think they're being rude. i think they are just irritated. but its still not an excuse to be angry! hahaha! :))