Favors... do you welcome them or do you despise them?
July 25, 2008 7:01am CST
Friends are there for support. And most of the time, they are the ones asking us favors. Do you always accept or welcome their 'little' favors? or do you despise them? As for me, No, I don't accept all the requests or favors a friend would ask me. If I would, I would first see to it that it's not 'out of my way' or is too much for my part. I don't like doing favors to someone who regularly asks them, it's also important for me to see to it that I'm not being over-used. I always see to it that if they ask favor from me, It'll not be a regular thing. Actually, this discussion reminds me of a friend of mine way back in college. She would call or sms me to ask for a number of the same hotel over and over again. At first, I really went out of my way to search for it even if I was in a tight schedule, just because I understood her part (she was lives out-of-town and doesn't have the phone directory of the said hotel in their locality). Anyhow, I had noticed that ever since that first favor, she'd somehow managed to ask me for the same number every time she or her family had plans of going over. Until very recently, I decided to stop. She asked me for the number and I'd simply ignore the message and when she does call, I'd not pick up, instead I'd type in 'busy'. I think she got the point. I didn't want her to get insulted if I said it to her face, so instead, I showed her that she cannot depend on me every time. So, what about you?
• United States
25 Jul 08
Hi laydee, That's the best decision really..You are helping her to be a little responsible as well as independent..LOL! She is actually funny! Maybe she is thinking you're her directory! LOL! I am like you, I will set a limitations..Since, as we know when we are too open, bound for abuse which is not good, it will just destroy the friendship! Like for example, when a friend of mine will borrow money for a reason, at first when I have extra, I will grant her but when it is done regularly and becoming more irresponsible in returning the money, I will stop helping her and let her understand that we are both working, we are supporting a family and we have bills to attend too and she has to manage her money as tight as she could..Not unless it is really for emergency, not just borrowing for shallow reasons...I have experienced this actually and I am glad that it never destroy the friendship and she was more responsible of her money, back then when we were both working!
28 Jul 08
Yeah, I guess you're right. There really are limitations. It's good that you didn't have to break off the relationship in order to teach her a valuable lesson. It's also good that you had the courage to speak out, and she did listen, right? =) Thank you for spending time to share your thoughts in this discussion. =)
• United States
25 Jul 08
I get aggravated. I rarely ask favors from my friends my mom and dad is who I like doing my dirty work. But I have a friend that is always asking me stuff like I am not busy enough just because she is too lazy to do it herself. i don't even like talking to her I get so aggravated. Why can't everyone just do their own crap?
28 Jul 08
it always depends on what type of favor will they ask.. and if I am not busy. why not to do a little favor from a friend?.. after all, I know that when I need their help, they are willing to do that just like what I've done to them. I know that some friends were taking advantage with our kindness.. if you think you can't do that favor, just be honest and tell her the next time that you are busy and that you can't do the favor which she's asking.. I know that she'll understand it.. since she's just asking for a little time on you. on my part, if ever I'll ask a little favor, I'll ask first if she's busy.. if not, then better to do it on myself.